Be More Careful

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and took place in the bathtub.  I spent a great deal of time in the bathtub today actually.  What was supposed to be an hour in the tub with meditation and a little relaxation turned into two hours… and included a nap. Yes, I know that I need to be more careful about that.  I promise… it wasn’t intentional.  It was just so comfortable that I ended off dozing off.

Funny enough, I did my first reading for someone else in the tub today as well.   Mostly because I didn’t feel like getting my ass out and going to my reading table.   I have a few waterproof decks beside the bath so I just did it there and laid them out on the bath mat beside the tub.   Oddly?  I think it gave my interpretation ability a bit of a warmer tone.  Like… as in the reading seemed a bit more emotion based than normal.

Tarot of the Sidhe - Pan, The DevilToday’s draw is the Pan card (The Devil), which is traditionally a representation of temptations and self destructive behaviors.  This can include things like addictions as well as the development of bad habits, or allowing oneself to be “lead astray”.

This is me… sleeping in the tub.   I mean it’s really that clear to me in this moment.  I know it’s supposed to kind of look like sex or surrender, but what I see here in this imagery today is her… floating.  She looks like she’s floating.   In fact, when I first pulled this card today, I barely noticed the Pan at all, only her.

The message in this card is a warning that I need to pay attention to.  It tells me that sleeping in the tub is more than just “flirting” with danger, but is truly dangerous, and I need to make more of an effort to not doze off when I’m in there.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: What boundaries must be established for me to feel safe when confronting my trauma?

Gypsy Palace Tarot

Reading Summary: The Nine of Wands popped out while I was considering whether I wanted to have this question be about boundaries for myself or boundaries for others. This card indicates that the boundaries are about myself.

Both the Nine of Wands and the Queen of Swords are pointing to the past (to the left) indicating that I need to make sure that I am keeping my past out of my healing process.

The High Priestess indicates that in order to make the decisions on when my past can be incorporated and when I can’t, I need to look inside myself and make sure that I am taking a healthy path and not a hurtful one (indicated by the Priestess’ heart crossed arms).

Take Away:  My past is not there to help me heal… it’s what I’m healing from. I need to be judicious in how I incorporate my past into my healing journey in order to ensure it only does good and not harm.

DECK USED:  GYPSY PALACE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to hear right now?

Tarot of WhyReading Summary: It’s OK to take control (The Chariot) of your personal time and retreat when you need (Four of Swords) to as long as you’re doing it in healthy ways (Four of Cups) that make you happy and bring joy to your life (The Sun).

Take Away:  This reading should be titled “Don’t Be A Sourpuss”.  If you’re going to take time for yourself, that’s okay… but make sure it’s for the right reasons.  Healthy reasons.  Don’t retreat just to wallow in a crappy mood or allow yourself to be a grump.  Alone time needs to be a time of restoration and enjoyment.

This is actually good advice because when I’m feeling grumpy and pessimistic, I have a habit of retreating into myself.  This habit has a purpose, as when I am dealing with an actual major depressive episode, this allows me to continue to function even though I’m a complete mess on the inside.  By pulling into myself, many people can’t even tell what’s really going on… and thus I can continue to put on the appearance that everything is fine and function normally under the observation of others.

The thing is, though, I don’t need to use this method outside of my MDEs.  It’s become a habit to retreat for any negative emotion, regardless of whether it’s clinical grade depression or not.   And that…. is not healthy.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF WHY

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: How can I best support and nurture positive growth in my community at this time?

Sacred Rose Tarot

Reading Summary: You have the tools (The Magician) to help others reason out (King of Swords) their conflicts (Five of Wands) and come to a resolution (King atop Five). Spend some time with your friends and have some fun (Three of Cups). You can bring them together and resolve their disagreements to restore positive balance in the relationship (The Sun).

Take Away:  This reading is about J and his parents.  Both J and his dad are out of work right now, and living in the same house.  They butt heads a lot when they have to spend too much time together, which has been their situation for the past few months.

I stopped by J’s place today on my way home from my hike and threw horseshoes out in the yard with him and his dad.  His mom came to me before I left to give me her customary hug and thanked me.  She said that coming over helped disperse some of the tension in the house, and especially between J and his dad.  She told me I should come over more often and stop avoiding them because of the pandemic issues.

It was nice that I was able to help.  I very much do worry about the whole pandemic thing and accidentally bringing it to their home tho, just as J does… which is why he’s not hanging out over here at my house much these days.

DECK USED:  SACRED ROSE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I better focus on the future while being present in the present?

Tarot del Fuego

Reading Summary: When things build up and eventually get to a point of  noticeable change (Death), it can sometimes create an emotional mess from worry, pain, and sense of loss (Three of Swords). But, if you focus on your passions and hold steadfast to your goals in the present (King of Wands), you’ll have the tools you need to move forward into the future (The Magician).

seraphimSide Note:  You know, I just realized something about this deck. A lot of the imagery in these cards remind me of the Catholic representations of the higher hierarchy angels like the Seraphim and Cherubim. Multiple wings, multiple eyes… and just sayin’?  But the image I’ve chosen to share here in this post is one of the least freaky of the depictions I’ve seen.

Okay so back to the reading…

Take Away:  That’s the thing about the present, yeah?  It’s full of changes.  Every day there are changes, some good and some not so good.  Sometimes they slip by without being noticed, but other times it’s like you trip over them and skin both knees in the process.    Those changes that you trip over are why it’s so hard to stay in the present sometimes instead of becoming overly focused on the future.  The fear and other emotions they illicit make you want to turn away and look to something better, to disengage with the change and the feelings they create.

The cards here say that instead of disengaging by looking forward, a better path would be to focus on the things that spark your fire and keep you going.  Focus on what you can do now, and apply your attention and abilities to these things.  Let the future take care of itself.

DECK USED:  TAROT DEL FUEGO

Weekly Creativity Prompt – My Summer

Pull (at least) three cards use them as the foundation to convey your ‘summer experience’ thus far for this year.

Tarot manouche Universel du XXIe SiecleThe Devil – I’ve played it a bit fast and loose as I expanded my deck collection this spring and summer, especially in the area of my playing card decks. It’s not as if I didn’t have the money to do so, though, and although it’s time to reign myself in now, it was a nice bit of escapism for a while.

Wheel of Fortune – Despite my spending, things haven’t been all -that- bad so far this summer.  There’s been a good bit of ups and downs, and I’ve spent a lot of time working on finding my center and keeping my balance as chaos reins in the world around me, but most of the upheavals (other than the major global one anyway) have been somewhat minor and only created ripples instead of waves on the smooth surface of my life.

The Hierophant – Over the spring and summer, I’ve rediscovered my great joy for teaching others, as well as providing them with guidance and help even beyond the tarot.  I’ve very much enjoyed the opportunity to teach others and learn from them in turn, and I’m looking forward to continuing to do so, even if I’ve taken a little break from teaching formal classes over June and July.

DECK USED:  TAROT MANOUCHE UNIVERSEL DU XXIe SIECLE BY SANDRA JAYAT

Self Awareness and Vice

IMG_4480Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long, and focused upon choosing your words wisely.  Okay so it was a bit more than that.  It was about taking a beat to get in touch with your reactions, and using that moment to recognize if you are having an emotional reaction.  To recognize if there isn’t a better way to respond than by jumping to your first reaction and raising your voice or following blindly in a raise of your emotions.

Too often when we are confronted with conflict or with something that puts our back up for one reason or another, we react without thinking.  The meditation today was focused on finding a better path by using the mindfulness learned in the practice of meditating and finding a more calm and collected response.

Maruco Animal Tarot - The DevilToday’s draw is the Devil card, which is traditionally interpreted as a representation of temptations, obsessions, and addictions.  It often refers to themes that have to do with self-imposed restrictions or self-imposed situations where one’s vices become a problem. It can also occasionally refer to that inner “shadow self” that contains the parts of ourselves and traits that we prefer not to accept or bring out into the light.

[Traditional Symbology Side Note: In the lovers card in the traditional RWS tarot, these same figures stand before two trees.   The female figure stands before the Tree of Knowledge.  The male figure stands before the Tree of Life. Here in the devil card (both in this deck and also in the traditional RWS) you see the representation of these trees reflected by what sprouts from the tails of these figures.]

I added the side note above, because what stands out to me the strongest today in the imagery of this card is the tails of the two chained fuzzies below the white tiger devil.  In this imagery, both tails have “born fruit” that feels like the fruit of that is their vice… their obsession.  Their addiction that keeps them chained.  In the case of the figure on the left, it is about the pleasure of abundance and “forbidden fruit”.   In the figure on the right, it is about the spark of one’s passions and drive.   In both cases, although what has put them in their current predicament is different, the results are the same.

The second thing that stands out to me is that in both cases, their eyes are closed…. but the tiger’s eyes are open and feel as if they have a depth of understanding to them.  This, interestingly enough, speaks to me of a blend of empathy and strength.

The message here is to make sure you are aware of those things that make you tick, and those things that have the potential to become more than that and enslave you.  I have a tendency toward addiction, and the message for me is one of self awareness.  Being self aware allows me to enjoy the things I love without taking it too far.  And, allows me to know when it is getting to a point where “taking it to far” has stopped being a possibility and has become a reality.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question
: What does my inner child want me to know at this time?

Mystical Manga Tarot

Reading Summary: This new opportunity to do things differently that’s currently before me (Page of Coins) needs to be considered with a good deal of introspection and thought (Eight of Swords) as well as careful planning.   At the center of that planning and the working through of how to proceed?  Make sure you are factoring in the need for continued self care (Empress).

Take Away:  The reorganization that has happened as a result of the pandemic has created an opportunity for me to rearrange not just how I work, but how I see things and where my focuses should lie.   The cards here are an encouragement to make sure that I don’t forget about the dedication I’ve put into self care during this time, and carry it forward into the future by careful and well thought out planning.

DECK USED:  MYSTICAL MANGA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Do Spread #2
What does Miss Luna want from me that I am not providing enough of?

Animal Wisdom TarotReading Summary: More good stuff (first two cards). Less change and instability (Moth Rx). Note the flow of colors in the background which connects the first two cards, indicating that she connects the joy of my attentions (Hummingbird) with the joy of passionate action (Tiger).  This connection is reinforced by the similar color palates and abundance of light in the first two cards, which speaks of joy and happiness.  Whereas the absence of light in the last card speaks of displeasure.

Take Away:  The cards here are saying that Miss Luna wants more play time with me.  She wants to have fun and finds that fun and action a sort of positive reinforcement.

What she wants less of from me is instability and change.  There’s not a lot that I can do about that as I can only provide so much stability considering my unstable schedule.  I do work hard to give her a bit of predictability within her days tho.

DECK USED:  ANIMAL WISDOM TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When do I take on the mood of someone else?

Stella's Tarot

Reading Summary: When I recognize that in the great scheme of things, there is no difference between others and myself (Death Rx), which allows me to connect with them through empathy (Three of Swords) and commiseration (Three of Disks).

Take Away:  Although I am not an empath, I am very much able to feel empathy under the right circumstances.  Those circumstances essentially require me to relate to and commiserate in some way with the other person.  I am then able to “take on” their mood and emotions.  This is not so much the sharing of emotions that an empath would experience, but more of a reflection of those emotions like a mirror.

DECK USED:  STELLA’S TAROT

Keeping a Healthy Balance

IMG_4189Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was focused upon listening to one’s intuition.   In the meditation, the guide encouraged finding the seat of your intuition and how it speaks to you.   Many people find that the seat of their intuition is “in their gut”.  Others find it is in a twinge at the back of their neck, or the raising of hairs on their arms.

For me, the seat of my intuition resides behind my solar plexus.  It speaks to me throughout my entire body, communicating through sensations and physical touches to my senses, and yet at its core it resides in that spot at my solar plexus.  It lives there, and when I consult my intuition, it’s there I reach.

In today’s meditation, the encouragement to find the seat of your intuition was followed by the benefits of fostering that voice and empowering it to grow by listening to it and following its guidance.  The more you follow your intuition, the more it will speak and the louder it will become.  That was essentially the lesson within today’s guided meditation which is very much the same message that I explain to my students when teaching intuitive tarot reading.

Forager's Daughter Tarot - The DevilToday’s draw is the Devil card of the Major Arcana.  This card is traditionally read as an indication of temptations, addictions, obsessions, and other themes that have to do with self-destruction through indulgence.

What stands out to me in the imagery of today’s card is the Aralia spinosa bush that sits behind the wolf.  This plant is called the “Devil’s Walking Stick” and it is very apt for the card as it is very easily to be mistaken for Elderberry. One that reaches for the berries and familiar with Elderberry might find an unpleasant surprise when the plant seems to then attack them and try to rip then to shreds with prickly thorns and spines not just on the stems but on the leaves as well. This connotation speaks to me of the need to take care, as something that might seem harmless is putting you in danger.

The tilt of the wolf’s head in the imagery is another element that stands out to me today, which appears to my perceptions to be far more watchful than ominous.  The wolf is an indication of one’s intuitive nature and deep inner knowing.   The watchful posture says that if I want to find what it is that is hiding behind an innocuous appearance in my life, I will need to use my intuition to suss it out.

The positive message here in this card is one of awareness and encouragement to reassess.    It’s time to do a bit of weeding in order to open space to breathe, and I am encouraged to use my intuition to reveal those things that are not serving me or look harmless but are potentially detrimental.  I have an addictive personality, and it’s important to stay self aware and on top of things to keep a healthy balance in my life between pleasure and responsibility.

DECK USED:  FORAGER’S DAUGHTER TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I bring more of that fulfillment into my daily life?

Cosmos Tarot and Oracle

Intuitive Interpretation:  De-tangle (Mercury) and piece together (Ara) in order to reach for your passion (Scorpius).

Okay, so the interpretations above are off the imagery alone.  I tried looking at the info in the guide book for this deck, as astrology isn’t a strong suit of mine, but although the explanations of the cards made perfect sense, they didn’t read for me that way… probably because I’m so used to reading intuitively off imagery that it’s the way the deck chose to speak to me, regardless of my intention to actually read the guide with this deck.

That said?  The guide is excellent and very interesting.  It just doesn’t apply to this reading.

Take Away:   This reading is about all of the ideas that I have concerning the classes I’m teaching on the Discord server.   I have a lot of ideas, and where at first they are tangled up in each other, what I find when I begin to write them out and untangle them is that there is enough material for not just one class, but a series of them.   So the idea unfurls (Mercury) and then they get pieced back together into a series of classes (Ara) on topics I love and love to share with others (Scorpius).  I’ve had this experience twice now, and the cards are saying that I need to have a little faith in this process instead of always worrying that I’m going to run out of ideas.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I better express to my loved ones how I feel about them?

Herbal TarotSarsaparilla symbolizes the ability to express your emotions to others, which combined with the Knight of Cups indicates that I shouldn’t expect my loved ones to just know how I feel and should take the time and effort to actually speak to them about how I feel.

Plantain is essentially a “decongestant” of the spirit, allowing for places where someone is feeling stuck to be eased and let go of. When combined with Justice, this speaks of providing guidance to my loved ones to assist them in finding the right path for them.

Trillium‘s symbolism lies within the “good stuff” in life that makes life worth living. The Three of Cups is combined with Trillium in this card, speaking about that “good stuff” having to do with family and friends, and spending quality time with them.

Mullein is a spiritual cleanser that allows the opening up of the lungs in order to circulate in positive energy through the breath and release negative energy on the exhale.  The combination of this herb with the Four of Swords speaks of taking time, as well, for the self in order to rest.  This rest is not about reflection, but rather about restoration and recovery.

Take Away:  I can better express to my loved ones how I feel about them by being open about my feelings and, instead of simply guiding them, spend some quality time with them enjoying their company as well.  The cards also remind me that I have a need for a certain amount of alone time and that it’s a requirement for my self care, and that I will better enjoy the time I spend with my loved ones if I tend to that need.

DECK USED:  HERBAL TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question
: What is the biggest challenge that I will face this month?

Tarot of the 78 Doors

Reading Summary: Financial uncertainty (King of Chalices Rx) brought about by making a long term choice (The Lovers) taking me down a path of in sharing the wealth that has the opposite effect upon my situation (Ten of Chalices Rx). My mother subsequently letting me have it for having done so (Queen of Swords).

Take Away: Thank you for the warning.  I’ll make damned sure to practice being especially miserly this month.   Honestly?  I’m way too hard on myself to want to deal with listening to my mother call me an idiot.  She has a sharp as fuck tongue and I’d rather just… not.

The opportunity to “contribute” to some cause, beneficial or otherwise, hasn’t really reared its head yet this month, but I’m going to be damn sure to keep an eye out for it.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE 78 DOORS

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What unrealistic expectations have I placed on myself?

Tarot Fauna

Reading Summary: I’m too harsh in my self judgements (Judgement) concerning bad calls/decisions/choices (Two of Feathers Rx) concerning the handling of financial matters and resources (Knight of Rocks). Ease up. You can only work with what is available to you (Temperance).

Take Away:  I think the spider in its web is a really good image for this reading, as it comes down to that tangled and sticky web of habit and constant judgement against the self, yes?  It’s something I fall into and get caught up in again and again.   The reading here is about not being so hard on myself about shit I have no control over.   Sometimes I fall into grousing over missed opportunities that weren’t really opportunities within my reach in the first place.

As a hypothetical example, say that you want to apply for a credit card with certain benefits, but you have to have a personal income of $100K to even apply, which is nowhere near your income bracket.  Then later down the road something happens and you’re kicking yourself for not having that credit card. There was no way you were ever going to get that card, even if you’d applied for it, but somehow you’re beating yourself up over not having it anyway.

The cards are essentially telling me to focus on what I can control, and let go of the rest.

DECK USED:  TAROT FAUNA

Stay the Path

Today’s meditation was ten minutes and forty eight seconds, and focused on the benefits of doing nothing.

This is, as you might imagine, a difficult topic for me. And a difficult task. To relax and take it all in rather than be active and productive is a struggle. I do understand the value in rest and recuperation, though, as well as the value in stillness and the mindfulness that it makes room for.

Today’s draw is the 15th card in the Major Arcana, the Devil card. This card is a representation of temptation, distraction, and a hedonistic mindset. As with all cards in the Major Arcana, this card’s focus is not on one specific aspect of the human experience, but rather on the big picture and one’s spiritual journey as a whole.

When this card appears, it is often a warning that you are being distracted off of your chosen path.

It’s appearance in today’s draw is a reminder to take care of myself. Here, while visiting at my mother’s, there are a lot of rich foods offered (and served) on a daily basis. There is also the ever-present temptation to let my inner deamons run amok.

The appearance of the Devil card is a reminder to stay on the path(s) I have chosen for myself, rather than allowing myself to be distracted and pulled off into the weeds.