Opening Up

IMG_3398Today’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long, and focused upon a breathing activity that was very similar to a body scan.   That is to say that it actually was a body scan, but instead of just consciously checking in with each area of the body, the meditation involved using the breath to breathe in healing energy into each part of the body along the way, and then into the body as a whole once each part had been tended to individually.

I really enjoyed this, and the visualization of air swirling through the body part, one body part at a time, and pushing out discomfort and tension was very relaxing.  This is definitely a meditation that I will be practicing again, and perhaps take some more time at it without a guide along for the ride in the future.

Healing Mantra DeckToday’s draw is something a little different.   It’s from the Healing Mantra Deck, which is a meditation guidance deck.   Today’s card is the “Liberating Love” card, which is about opening your heart to both give and receive.

This card indicates that love is healing, and the guidebook provides a reminder that when opening your heart to receiving and forgiving feels tiresome and exhausting, it means that we do not feel safe enough to remain open, giving guidance on using your will to find the strength to open anyway, for it is in opening up to love where the healing lives… not in closing yourself off.

This is a good reminder to me today, as I’m on the cusp of a subdrop.  These drops make me feel extremely vulnerable, and it is my habit to close up when they come upon me.  But the truth is, it is only in staying open and allowing the love between us to help me through where real healing happens.

DECK USED:  HEALING MANTRA DECK

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question
: Root Cause (built off yesterday’s cards)

Fantastical Creatures Tarot

Reading Summary:  I have consciously made some choices lately (Eight of Swords) to focus on the positive (The Star) which is helping me in finding a better path through reflection as well as the rest I need at this time (Four of Swords).

Take Away:   Essentially?  Make good decisions and get good rest, and the whole world has an opportunity to look different… and better.  The state of mind was a positive shift, and these choices to allow myself more rest and a time of reflection combined with making a conscious choice to look for the positive is helping in lifting me up out of the smog for a breath of fresh air.

DECK USED:  FANTASTICAL CREATURES TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What is the most valuable thing I can do for others this month?

Mibramig Magical Tarot

Reading Summary:  Lift them up (Six of Wands) by helping them to look at things differently (Page of Swords) and make good choices for themselves (The Lovers).

Take Away:  Sometimes we all need to learn new ways to look at (and think about) the things that are weighing on our minds.  As the Ten of Swords grows into the Page, there is growth in finding new ways to move forward.  The cards indicate that the most valuable thing I can do for others this month is helping them feel better about themselves in their situation by encouraging that growth and helping them in finding the path forward that is right for them.

This is actually one of the ways that I very much enjoy interaction with others (as an introvert, I’m a little picky about social interaction) and it’s wonderful to hear from the cards that this endeavor is helpful and positive for others.

DECK USED: MIBRAMIG MAGICAL TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: What do I know about myself for sure?

Cosmic Tarot

Reading Summary:  I’m willing to walk away (Eight of Cups) from a sure thing (Nine of Cups) in order to go after something better (Queen of Wands).

Take Away:  I demonstrate this on a regular basis, but in one of the most obvious ways that this is true is in how I make my living.   I am three months from completing double science majors.  I could, with the grades I was pulling down and my natural affinity for those subjects, have taken any number of high paying jobs even without my degree.

I chose to go my own way instead.  I chose to enjoy my life, rather than spend it in an office or a laboratory or a classroom teaching others.  This isn’t because I couldn’t have done any of those things, or all of those things.  It’s because the learning burned bright within my passion and drive… but the actual careers? Left me cold. Instead, I chose to go after something that does kindle my spark of joy and passion and creation.  I started my own business and do my own thing.

Yes, my other part time jobs (or some of them anyway) were very much in the wheelhouse of my education and knowledge base… but they bring me joy because there is a lack of pressure, and an abundance of freedom to do my own thing and go my own way and help… on an individual level.  I enjoy that far more than some stuffy office or lab or classroom.

DECK USED:  COSMIC TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: What opportunities are being presented to me this month?

IMG_3407

Reading Summary:  Overcoming my fear of the unknown (Two of Wands) and moving forward into a new beginning (The World) with self possession intact and a new understanding of my needs moving forward (Queen of Cups).

Take Away:  I feel like a lot of the uncertainty I’ve been feeling in the past few months is an emotional influence.  I’m so not used to my emotions being “out of the box” and able to influence… well, everything. The opportunity being presented to me this month is in starting on a journey that finally begins moving me away from that “holy crap fear” that comes with stepping out of the dark box I’d hid my emotions in and into the disorientation of the light… and moving past that blind moment of disorientation into somehwere more seated, comfortable, and assured.

DECK USED:  MIBRAMIG MAGICAL TAROT

Reflection and Foresight

IMG_3384Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and again touched upon a topic that I’d touched on in my previous day’s post.   That is to say that the topic of today’s meditation was in altering how you look at the world and your life.

Again… I don’t think that this message is at all “tone deaf”.   Dying patients in hell hole conditions find a way to insert humor (and good humor) into their situation.  Destitute people without homes eating out of garbage cans find a way to insert humor (and good humor) into their situation.

People worse off than those complaining about this concept being “tone deaf” manage to insert humor (and good humor) into their situation.  It is not tone deaf to encourage people to do something that’s under their control to uplift themselves, no matter what their situation.

I, too, need to work on this.  But I think it’s very important to seek out that lighter perspective and work at maintaining it.  Yes, things are bad.  Really bad.  But allowing yourself (or myself) to sink deeper and deeper into a pit of anxiety and despair?  It’ll make things so much worse.  And so I’m going to do my best to take a breath and seek that lighter side, even if I’m not feeling like it.

Page of Zephyrs (aka Page of Swords) - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Page of Zephyrs (aka Page of Swords) which is traditionally a representation of an omega energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s thoughts, ideas, intellect, and communication.

I often see Pages as the “learners” in the tarot, but what I see here is not learning but retreat in order to self soothe and reflect. Sometimes? In order to work through a problem or find the path forward, you need that time of reflection.  A time to consider your options and plan for what’s to come.

That’s what this the message of today’s card.  It is about what I need to be doing with my time right now.  That is to say, not pushing but planning.  Taking time to consider and re-evaluate my options, and those options that will be coming as things change in the future.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question
: Current state of mind.

White Sage Tarot

Reading Summary: Empowered (The Magician) and on the rise (The Sun) which is putting me in a good place to make some choices (Two of Swords) concerning how to balance self care into the equation (Empress).

Take Away: Over the past week or so I’ve felt a lightening slowly beginning in my mental health.  There was the fog that happened in January and the slow climb out of it through February, then the huge struggle and strife of changing life in March and having to find a way to let go of control without losing my mind in the process.  But as I’ve begun to find that balance and find a purpose and a focus, my mental health has begun to lift.  The cards are a reminder that while I am finding the light, I need to continue to take care of myself and make good choices towards that end.

DECK USED:  WHITE SAGE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What is the most valuable thing I can do for myself this month?

Pastel Rider Waite Smith Tarot

Reading Summary:  Don’t depend on the opinions of others (Three of Cups Rx). Work on healing your own self view (Ten of Swords) and finding contentment in how far you’ve come (Nine of Cups).

Take Away: This is actually an apt time for this to come up after the question in one of yesterday’s reads about how others perceive me and my worry over what might come up in the cards.  I was worried that when I drew the cards it would say that people saw me as a know it all.   And seriously?  I shouldn’t really be worrying about that at all.   I do my best to help people.  What is the point of having knowledge if you can’t share it to help others?

Anyway… this draw speaks to that fear and letting it go.  It’s more important how I feel about myself.  It’s what really matters and what I need to work on.

DECK USED:  PASTEL RIDER WAITE SMITH TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: How can I find my confidence?

Forager's Daughter Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation:  At the moment, nearly everyone is looking for a hand up or a hand out.  That’s not unexpected considering what’s going on in the world right now.  Everyone needs a little help and there’s not a lot of places to for that help from.

These cards indicate that if I want to foster my confidence at this time, I need let go of my discomfort and shame in asking for help, and instead focus upon working on the unfinished business that I have sitting in the wings so that when the world starts to calm down I can bound forward into that new start all fresh and new and ready to go.

DECK USED:  FORAGER’S DAUGHTER TAROT