Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

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EarthThe Emperor and Balance – This week you have everything in hand and running well.  You know where all of your money is and where it’s going, and need only to focus on keeping things balanced to take this week in hand and make it yours.  Yes, balance will take a bit of work, but that work will not be spurred by uncertainty or fear, but rather by a feeling of strength and control.

AirQueen of Emotions, Hanged Muse, Clarity –  This week is going to give you the opportunity to see your emotions in a different way.  The cobwebs and fog of fear and uncertainty will give way to a clarity of understanding on where things are going concerning your emotional growth and how you’re going to get there.

Water – Eight of Materials and Understanding – Carrying over from the clarity of the mind, the cards here speak of developing stronger skills concerning my emotions and allowing that clarity of mind to connect with a sense of understanding within the heart.  There is no warning here, just encouragement to allow myself to learn and grow, and to keep myself open to the process.

FireTwo of Voices, Ten of Emotions, Emotion – Again we land in the realm of the emotions even in the position of fire.   Choices need to be made to either allow myself to embrace the emotional development in the works… or not.

WaningNew England Aster – This week is not the week for action or quick leaps forward.  Take your time. Take a breather.  Allow yourself to step back from the constant push forward and, although this doesn’t mean abandoning responsibilities, it does mean not pushing to do more than is needed this week.  Give yourself the time and room to grow.

WaxingLand Within/Out –  Find the balance between what is without and what is within and the card here echos the reflection of seeing a heavy presence of emotion spread throughout all positions of this reading.  It speaks of a need to allow your emotions freedom instead of containing them in that dark, closed up space inside, hidden and secluded from the rest of yourself… and the rest of the world.

Take Away –  The presence of a heavy emotion element in all four sections of the reading speak of needing to make some room to let your emotions and your emotional growth take the forefront this week.  Don’t allow yourself to fall into the work and close out what’s happening.  Stay alert and aware of the inner shifting going on in the heart and don’t step on your own toes by forcing pessimistic viewpoints that aren’t needed.  Ease up and allow yourself to feel this week, and take care not to smother or beat down positive emotions, or negate them with negative self talk.

DECKS USED: THE MUSE TAROT, WHEN MY SOUL WHISPERS ORACLE, PLANT SPIRIT ORACLE

Being Nice and Trying Again… and Again

startagainToday’s meditation was just under fifteen minutes long and was self guided with a focus upon self forgiveness and letting go of the pressure and stress that I put upon myself to always do more and berate myself when I take a break.    I felt that it was a really good topic for today, being that today is self-care Saturday and all.

I think that it’s important for me to remember that not only is it okay to take rests, but it’s okay to have an “off” day now and then, and that tomorrow is a new day and I can “try again”.  The only person judging me is me, and I’m allowed to forgive myself when things just don’t go according to plan now and then.

Like so many lessons to do with self care and self forgiveness, knowing the concept and saying the words is so much easier than actually putting them into action.  I figure that maybe if I remind myself enough, it will begin to sink in at some point.

Maruco Animal Tarot - Five of WandsToday’s draw is the Five of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of tests, trials, and conflict concerning one’s passions, ambitions, and drive.

Speaking of beating up on yourself.  This card was actually the inspiration for the topic of today’s meditation.

For me, the biggest conflict I face on a day to day basis is inner conflict.  Specifically conflict concerning how much I’m getting done and how much I have to do… and berating myself for not getting more done considering how much I have to do.

This card’s appearance today was a reminder of that inner conflict, which is so very often centered around my passion projects, entrepreneurial spark, and drive to succeed at my business and my goals.

The message here isn’t in the conflict of the card… but in the imagery of those sweet little bunnies turned rabid.  It is a reminder to not allow myself to be such a vicious dick to myself.  It wouldn’t be okay to treat others that way, and so I shouldn’t be treating myself that way either.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question
: What amazing thing about myself do I often fail to recognize?

Fairy Tarot by Virtue and Valentine

Reading Summary:  My resourcefulness (The Magician) to find a better way (Six of Winter) and bring people together (Hierophant/Unity) and inspire them to do the same (The Fool).

Just sayin’?  But although I haven’t found the time to do it yet…. this deck is definitely soon to be on the chopping block for a trim.

Take Away:  You would think that I wouldn’t have such a hard time with change since I’m somewhat skilled at turning situations around to come out the better for it… and yet I am always a bit trepidatious when it comes to change.   That said… what the cards indicate here is that this ability is actually something that is amazing about me, and something that inspires others to explore change with a lighter heart and more hopeful outlook than they otherwise would.

DECK USED:  FAIRY TAROT BY VIRTUE AND VALENTINE

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I add more fun into my life?

Sun and Moon TarotReading Summary: Find the passion inside you to fight for it (Five of Wands) and not allow obstacles to hold you back (Six of Wands) because this is a gift to yourself that can help restore balance (Six of Pentacles).

Take Away:  If I really want to add more fun into my life, I will need to fight for it. This means fighting to find the time, fighting to see true value in that time, and fight against my own inner tendency to not allow myself that time.  The cards also indicate that it’s important that to assist myself in this fight, I need to keep in mind the benefits that the added fun can have in my life, and use those benefits and the balance it can create, to inspire and motivate me to make the effort.

DECK USED:  SUN AND MOON TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question
: What does the month ahead hold for me?

Mermaid Tarot by Robertson

Reading Summary:  Carefree (Judgement Rx) and well balanced (Temperance) while enjoying new emotions (Ace of Cups).

There is also a connection between the Judgement card and the Ace of Cups card through the colors associated in both cards which speaks to me about allowance.  Allowing yourself to delve in and allowing yourself to explore without the fear of repercussions that may come.

There is also a flow of motion connection between all three cards where in each card the flow moves from left to right and strengthens in its progression from one card to the next.  This flow speaks to me of the Judgement card and the Temperance card both building up support for the Ace of Cups (emotional exploration).

Take Away:   There has been a lot of overwhelm and issues over the past few months since I first discovered that new level of emotional growth back at the end of last summer.  The cards here indicate that I am at a place this month and ready to delve into that new growth. Not with fear or discomfort, but with an openness and carefree acceptance that will allow me to stay balanced and keep the experience positive.

DECK USED:  MERMAID TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  When do I feel most loved?

Dixit Deck v.2 QuestIntuitive Interpretation: While the world falls apart outside the sheltering structure (broken musical notes on the ground) the guy in the window remains securely inside and a knight protects him from the monster crawling out of the deep dark hole.

It’s not possible to hide behind what makes me feel safe forever, but it’s nice and very special when that option is there when I need it.

The anchor’s significance is twofold.  First it signifies the steadying rock of your presence in my life.  Second is its significance within our D/s, as you are the anchor in my drown.  Just as I liken subspace to peacefully floating in water, suspended beneath the surface… you are the anchor that holds me under and keeps me safe from floating away on random currents.

Take Away:  When do I feel most loved?  When I feel safe and secure, protected and cared for.  Sheltered and… most especially?  In the middle of my drown when you’re there holding me under and creating that experience for me that is something only you are able to create.

DECK USED:  DIXIT DECK V.2 QUEST

Passionate Pursuits

Today’s meditation was non-existent because for my birthday I decided I wanted to sleep in and I slept in… way later than I expected to.   I must have really needed to catch up on sleep though, because it was not just nice…. it was absolute bliss.   As was the nap taken later in the day today. I might end up trying to meditate before I go to bed tonight, though.  The day’s not completely over yet after all.

Forager's Daughter Tarot - Page of WandsToday’s draw is the Page of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive omega energy in the area of one’s ambitions, drive, and passion projects.  This usually translates into themes that have to do with learning a new skill or getting a new spark of enthusiasm or inspiration that needs a bit of time and openness to explore.

In the imagery of this card there are a few different aspects that really stand out to me.  One is the waxing crescent moon at the top of the card, which speaks to me of new beginnings.  The tarot is cyclical.  You start off at the ace and advance to the ten, but then at the page you are cycling back to a different type of ace.   The page is essentially once again the ace from before, but changed to advance to a new beginning at a higher level.

By that same turn, the coloring of the leaves from the bottom of the card to the top represents growth to me.  As a mulberry tree grows, like many plants, the lower leaves drop away to give strength and energy to the upper leaves to stretch higher and reach further.

The imagery of this card speaks to me about attainment through growth. You can get what you want, you can attain those things you seek and are passionate about.  But it requires time and growth.  Nothing worth getting drops immediate and whole into your hands, especially those things of value that you want most.  Instant gratification is not growth, so set aside your impatience and reach for your dreams with the knowledge that the work (and the wait) will be worth it.

DECK USED:  FORAGER’S DAUGHTER TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I benefit from adding more fun and play into my life?

Mystic Faerie TarotReading Summary: More opportunities (Ace of Pentacles) and less juggling (Two of Pentacles) while creating that sense of control (King of Swords) that I crave.

Take Away:  By introducing more fun and play into my life, it will allow me to open up to new opportunities to explore concerning  the development of resources that will allow me to juggle less and feel more in control of my fate.

This sounds counter-intuitive to me due to that whole “workaholic” side of my nature, but it also makes a lot of sense as well. This is because my main venue of making money and thus building my resources is through a creative source, this makes a lot of sense.  It speaks to the fact that creativity in and of itself is a kind of play.  And thus by allowing more play into my life, I am growing the skills I use to put food on the table (among other things).

By developing these skills through fun and play, I essentially “level up” in my abilities to bring in those resources and thus have to juggle less part time jobs and less responsibilities associated with those jobs in order to accomplish everything I want to accomplish.  This, in turn, gives me a more stable sense of control.

DECK USED:  MYSTIC FAERIE TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question
: What is my card of the month?

Mystical Manga Tarot - Seven of WandsInterpretation:  This month’s card is the Seven of Wands.   The message in this card is that you have a choice in how you interact with the world.   You can view the world as your enemy always out to get you, taking a pessimistic view and using that view to put you in a constant place of defense and protection.   Or you can view the world as an adventure and you as the hero.

The first view leads to exhaustion and burnout.   The latter?  Creates a spark of life and fun that can then carry you forward and keep you alert and prepared, as well as light on your feet when challenges arrive.

DECK USED:  MYSTICAL MANGA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What does love mean to me?

Herbal Tarot

Reading Summary: Making the choice that speaks to your heart (The Lovers) and allow the harder parts of your insides to soften towards another (Parsley). Having the patience you otherwise wouldn’t (Temperance) and cleansing away the poison of intolerance as you accept the importance of the other person holds for you (Echinacea). Allowing someone in deep enough that you are vulnerable to being hurt (Three of Swords) and fostering a trust that will purge past hurts from your expectation of the present relationship (Pleurisy Root).

Take Away:  Love is about being vulnerable and letting go of the past so that it doesn’t influence the present.  It’s about listening to your heart instead of your emotions and finding that match that fits with you like a piece of a puzzle where your flaws are their strengths, and vice versa.   It’s about listening and healing and belonging.

DECK USED:  HERBAL TAROT

 

The Ant and The Grasshopper

IMG_4015Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes long and was attached to the end of my yoga practice.   I had read the quote pictured in this blog post prior to going into my yoga practice, and it stuck with me through the practice and into the meditation.

It had me considering some of those people I have met in life that have appeared cold to me, and how I often come off to others as cold and distant.  You have told me in the past that these people just haven’t had the chance to get to know me, but the fact is?  Should they need to get to know me to know that I’m not cold and distant? Should they need to get to know me in order to realize I, too, have feelings?

And yet, that impression?  Is mine.   That distance is created by me, whether it’s to protect myself or to protect them from the depression and vicious negativity I direct toward myself… or both.

Just the meandering path of my mind during that time… something to share.

Nine of Oak - Nine of Pentacles - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is is the Nine of Oak (Nine of Pentacles) which is traditionally a representation of solitary accomplishment.  That is to say, it represents that time at the end of a journey where you have accomplished your goal and find yourself in a place of abundance.   During this time, there is a moment when you enjoy that abundance on your own before moving on to sharing it with others.   The Nine of Pentacles is that moment of enjoyment and wealth that comes prior to the “sharing the wealth”.

What I actually see today in the imagery of this card, though, isn’t that moment… but the moment that comes just before it.   In the imagery of this card I see the moment when you are counting your resources and tucking things away, storing up and preparing.  The squirrel and the squirrel child here are not wallowing in their wealth and reflecting on how well they’ve done.  They are not in a moment of contentment and satiation.  But they are headed in that direction.

The message here is one of encouragement.  A reminder that I am doing well and the preparations I have made over time to create a sense of stability and security are going to pay off when I need them to.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question
: What can I do to remind myself of the hand my spirit guides play in my life? (built off yesterday’s cards)

Isidore Tarot

Reading Summary: Listen to and trust your intuition (The Priestess) instead of allowing the brain to overcome (Five of Swords) and steal away (Seven of Swords) the surety and comfort (King of Cups) that being in touch with that inner voice creates.

Take Away:  Like most people, my brain loves.. loves to cast doubt.  And in finding that connection to my spirit guides that I’ve been seeking?  That is the biggest hurdle to traverse. As connected as I am to my intuition, it’s still extremely hard to keep my brain from stepping in to cast doubts on what doesn’t feel quite fully manifested as yet.

DECK USED:  ISIDORE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What is my superpower?

Maruco Animal TarotReading Summary: Having a clear head (Queen of Swords) and an open mind (Page of Swords) while taking control (The Emperor) of any situation that requires flexibility and adaptation (Wheel of Fortune).

Take Away:  Perhaps this skill is because I have spent so much of my life suppressing my emotions, but when situations require a clear head, this is not something I usually struggle with.   The emotions turn off, and my brain kicks it up a notch. 

This is actually something I’ve been a bit worried about, when considering the new level of emotions and openness to my emotions that I’ve been slowly exploring and developing over time.  There is always that bit of worry that that objective, clearheaded intellect will become clouded by emotion and damage my ability to step back and see multiple perspectives without the pollution of bias getting in the way.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: How can I become more self loving?

Fairy Lights Tarot

Reading Summary: Work on taking more chances (Left Card) and entertain less self recrimination (Middle Card) and self doubt (Right Card).

The imagery in the left card gives me the impression of swinging from a branch over a cliff, and it reminds me of those swings kids use to swing out over swimming holes and jump.  Sometimes? Taking chances leads to adventure and joyous moments that you can’t find any other way.

In the middle card, the posture of the figures in the center speaks to me of shame and a feeling of defense from attack.   This impression is strengthened by the darkness of the shadows of their robes.

The moon in the right card frowns down upon the figures along the path.  While some bound forward toward that judging visage, others hold back, unsure and fearful.  The red and orange colors in this card also blend into that of the center card, indicating  a connection… a similarity of emotion between the two.

Take Away:  If I want to be more self loving, I need to let go of my self recriminations, my hesitations, and my self doubt.  Instead of allowing these moments to fill my life, I need to leap at the chance to grab hold of the opportunities for joy and revel in the fun that comes with new adventures.

DECK USED:  FAIRY LIGHTS TAROT

It’s Going To Be Okay

Today’s meditation was yet again non-existent.  I kinda sorta might have fallen asleep instead. Not on purpose, mind you, but apparently I was more in need of sleep than I was of meditation because I managed to fall asleep in my pirifomris stretch. As you might imagine, it was not easy to get out of after having slept in that position for about an hour.

Ten of Zephyrs - Ten of Swords - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Ten of Zephyrs (Ten of Swords) which is traditionally interpreted as coming to the end of a rough and arduous journey and can often indicate that that ending is fraught with experiences of pain, loss, or betrayal.

With the imagery on today’s card, what I see here is definitely the end of a road, but I also see a message of safety and care.   The resting child and the vulture that looks over it, a bird of pray and a scavenger… and yet also a watchful protector.

What I see here is a message of reassurance, and after the triggering event last night… a message that I needed to hear.   That message says that I am looked over and protected, even when I am at weakest and most vulnerable.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I embrace that power? (built off yesterday’s cards)

The Good Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation: Remain open and receptive to love and nurturing.

Take Away:  The power that was referenced yesterday had to do with the touch of guidance from my spirit guides within my choices and my moral compass.  Today’s cards indicate that in order to embrace that touch within my life I need to stop ignoring their presence and pushing away the possibility of them being a hand in things, and open myself up to being more receptive to their presence, guidance, and love.

DECK USED:  THE GOOD TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Where do I need to direct more gratitude?

Fantastical Creatures TarotReading Summary:  Instead of spending so much time trying to spread myself thin pushing forward (Seven of Cups) I need to look within and find the fortitude (Strength) that will allow me to accept that things are good (Nine of Pentacles) and enjoy that things are good. (Ten of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I spend a lot of time planning for the future and freaking out about if I’m doing enough and how I can do more.  The cards here speak of the need to let up on those habits and appreciate the here and now.  Yes, there’s a lot going on now to worry about, but the truth is that we are okay.  We have the ability to get food and medications that are needed.  We aren’t on the street or struggling with homelessness.   We are very, very fortunate in all that we have and I need to set aside that diligence and hyper-vigilance a bit to allow myself time to appreciate that.

DECK USED:  FANTASTICAL CREATURES TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: What motivates me?

Lili White Tarot

Reading Summary:  The need for spirituality and balance in my life (Temperance), my moral compass (Judgement), and my need for stability and security (King of Pentacles).

Take Away:  One of the core tenants and foundations of my faith is balance.  It is one of the energies that I revere, even in my daily devotional and, even beyond spirituality… or perhaps it is because it is such an integral part of it, balance is an important part of how I view life and the world as a whole.  

My moral compass rules my life.   Sometimes I slip, just like everyone does.  But it is finding balance and holding strong to my moral compass that allow me to move forward with certainty.

The last card is a representation of my need for stability and security.  This need is rooted in fear, yes… but it is also rooted in my connection with the earth.  The core need within me to be grounded is an overpowering drive, and absolute need for me, and that need is not about fear but about what feels right to me and how I connect to the world around me.  Without that grounding force…. there is no sure footing beneath my feet to walk upon my path.

DECK USED:  LILI WHITE TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I be more forgiving?

New Liminal Tarot

Reading Summary: Make the choice (Two of Swords) to accept that sometimes shit just falls apart (Ten of Swords) and make a conscious decision to rise above those moments and focus on recovery efforts (Queen of Discs).

Take Away:  This speaks of stepping away from thoughts of blame and instead stepping forward to offer support.   In doing this, you allow yourself to see things from the other person’s perspective rather than just your own, which fosters the ability to forgive more easily those that trespass upon us.

DECK USED:  NEW LIMINAL TAROT

 

The Buffet… and Moderation

IMG_3968Today’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long and focused on the distraction of intruding thoughts and experiences in the middle of a meditation practice.  That is to say, it focused upon how to deal with these distractions and not allow them to frustrate you or pull you away from your practice.

Instead, the guided meditation encouraged approaching these distractions in a disconnected sort of way.  Choosing to take a moment to identify what it is that has distracted you, acknowledging it by naming it, and then letting it go and returning to your center focus (usually the breath).  That is to say, for example, that if you get distracted thinking about what you need to do for the day you pause to recognize you’ve become distracted.  You then label that distraction as “thinking” and accept that it happened, and then set it aside and return to your meditation focus.

This actually seems to work really well for me.  Everyone becomes distracted during meditation, even those that practice daily for years and years.  It’s a part of the process, and that pulling yourself back from distraction to return to your meditation is just as important a part of the process.

Seven of Brine - Seven of Cups - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Seven of Brine (Seven of Cups) which is traditionally a representation of feelings of overwhelm (or feelings of vast opportunities) created by having an abundance of choices open and available to you.

So many yum-yums… a veritable smorgasbord… so little time.

Laughing.   Okay, so that was my above thought when I first saw this card.  A raccoon presented with so many different delicious options that he’s left unable to decide what he wants to eat.

The message here has to do with having too much of a good thing.  I’m not really sure where this fits into my life today, but I will definitely be keeping an eye open for where this message might apply.   I do see it as a good reminder, though.  And a good message because of the value of its reminder.

It’s a reminder that moderation is a good thing, yeah?  And although I’m not especially good at moderation? I do understand it’s value.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question
: What is the root of my power?

Fairy Lights Tarot

Reading Summary: spirit guides (left card), reaching for and embracing change (center cards), moral compass (right card)

Take Away:  The root of my power is threefold and resides in the guidance of my spirit guides, my adaptability and willingness to adjust to change, and the moral compass within me that guides my actions.

There is a blending of colors from the spirit guides card into the change card that speaks of the changes I am often guided through the changes that come by my spirit guides in order to help me embrace those changes.

There is also a color flow between the spirit guides card, the “reaching for” card and the moral compass card that speaks of my spirit guides having a hand in my openness to adapt as well as the moral compass that guides me.

DECK USED:  FAIRY LIGHTS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What piece of advice will help me achieve my dreams?

Forager's Daughter TarotReading Summary:  Beware the last sword (Ten of Swords) that will be coming for you just as you begin to feel a sense of pride in your accomplishments (Nine of Cups) and a feeling of having finally found stability and completion (Ten of Pentacles).

Take Away:  This is a warning about becoming overconfident.  In order to achieve my dreams, the cards indicate that I need to take care not to let my progress and accomplishments go to my head.  There are going to be setbacks and struggles… even when I feel I’m past all that and think that I have found higher ground.

DECK USED:  FORAGER’S DAUGHTER TAROT