tarot for self care

Generosity Is For All

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Today’s meditation was skipped because it’s an orders day.  I think I’m going to fit this in as a regular thing, as I’m wondering if it will help me in finding a better balance and not avoiding my meditation if on the days when I am the absolute most busy (Mondays and Thursdays) I just skip the meditation entirely and don’t feel guilty about it.

We’ll give it a try this month and see how it goes.

Good Karma Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Six of Coins, which is traditionally a representation of generosity, sharing, equality, and finding balance through distribution of wealth and/or privilege.

It’s the last of those (distribution of wealth) that I see here in this card.  Between the two figures grows a money tree, and it’s not clear in the imagery who the tree belongs to  Nor is it clear in the imagery who the coin belongs to.  Is it being given from left to right?  Or was it handed over from right to left?

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a reminder that generosity isn’t just for others. It’s also for the self.

We, as humans, need a certain amount of self care. It’s a necessity.  This does not make us weak, nor should we be looking at others and being understanding of their needs… and yet harsh with ourselves for our own.  Your needs are just as valid as everyone else’s, so stop beating yourself up for that nap, or meditation, or break, or little extra bit of self care you do for yourself, or want to do but keep fighting against. Be as generous with yourself as you are with others. You deserve that self care and generosity just as much as others do.

DECK USED:  GOOD KARMA TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Question: How can I better cope with my times of deep depression?

Conference of the Birds Tarot

Reading Summary: Use that time to learn a new skill that you were passionate enough to write down in your ideas book (Knave of Wands), and lean on others for help (Three of Pentacles). Keep your eye on the prize (Knight of Swords).

Take Away:  Unlike sadness (which is what this question originally referenced), depression is a condition that you can’t just lift yourself out of. It’s something you have to ride out. I my case, it has a distinct pattern to it.  A descent, a brief pause at the bottom of the pit, and then a slow climb back up to normal. This pattern takes about 2-3 months to complete.

The advice here is that during this time, when I realize that the onset and descent is upon me, dip into my ideas book and pick out an idea that I was passionate enough to write down, and begin to explore that skill.   These 2-3 months become “lost time” later, where the entirety of the time is wiped from my memory, but the skills learned will remain like muscle memory.  So in a way, it would be like osmosis.  Like coming out of the depression is “waking up” and while I was “asleep” I learned a new skill.

Added to this is a reminder to ask for help.  Don’t just fall into the depressive pit and forget that others are there to help you in keeping everything going smoothly. All of the responsibility does not need to rest on your shoulders alone, and especially not during times when you’re struggling with depression.

The third piece of advice is about focus. It’s about making sure that I remember that the depression is only temporary, and that it won’t last forever.  Keep moving forward, keep looking for the light.  Keep climbing.  Don’t give up.

DECK USED:  CONFERENCE OF THE BIRDS TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: How would you benefit from adding more fun and play into your life?

Good Karma TarotReading Summary:  I would look at running my business in a new light (King of Wands atop Hanged Woman) and build stronger connections with those closest to me (Two of Cups) while still remaining in control of where I want things to go and leading the way for those others in my life to do the same (Queen of Swords).

Take Away: This sounds like such a good idea but I have such a hard block to the whole “Fun and Play” thing that it becomes really hard to view my business in this light, regardless of the fact that I enjoy making jewelry and most everything involved in that. 

I understand that changing my perspective will relieve a good deal of stress I carry on my shoulders, though, and give me a deeper connection with those that I work with (my sister and Z).  I’m just not entirely sure how to instill that sense of fun and play into the process without losing track of the control needed to make sure everything gets done and runs smoothly.   Which is where the Queen of Swords comes in, as this card indicates that there is indeed a way to do it and make it work, but it will take some effort and “building of experience” to get there.

DECK USED:  GOOD KARMA TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took some time to chill with my flowers out on the balcony today even though it’s an orders day.  And I took an ibuprofen for my headache instead of just suffering with it and hoping it would go away on its own.

Transitioning from April to May

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Linescape Tarot and Metaphoric Therapy Cards

Individuality – Seven of Pentacles – It can often be difficult to remember that others do not judge you as harshly as you judge yourself.  You’ve come a long way in your growth and in grounding yourself in this knowledge, but you also still have a long way to go.  No one is staring at you.  Promise.  They want to accept you and love you, just as you are.

Dependence – High Priestess – Let go of the chaos and your intuition will become better grounded. All that anxiety is like a tornado turning your world upside down and making it hard to find the balance and stability needed for your intuitive self to grow and thrive.

Creativity – Ace of Swords atop Five of Cups – Overcoming hopelessness with new ideas is something you excel at and need to lean into moving forward.  Don’t linger in the disappointments, sadness, and negativity.  Instead pull yourself free with the “fresh air breeze” of new ideas and allow them to lift you up into a new path when needed.

Limitation – Emperor – It can be hard to relate to people in power sometimes. Sometimes they display behavior that has been trained into them, like police or border agents being overly aggressive without provocation. Keep in mind that these types of behavior are not a reflection on you or anything that you are doing, but rather a tactic meant to put you on edge.  Stay calm and rise above.

Change – Two of Swords – Pay attention and listen closely.  Opportunities to allow your passions to thrive are coming, and it may feel like their out of reach but they’re not.  It will simply take some careful listening, creative thinking, and a bit of discernment and decisive decision making to get you where you want to go.

Sympathy – Seven of Swords – Family betrayals. Broken promises and broken trusts have created in you a feeling of distrust and entanglement that is primed to rise to the surface and needs some attention to get under control. You’ve made a good deal of progress in making peace with your father and your past in this area, but it doesn’t really cover the whole “family” aspect of the thing, does it?

Luck – The Fool – Use the joy and bolstering sense of elation that comes with your accomplishments to lift you up and give you fresh eyes and fresh energy.  You have a lot to be grateful for and a lot to be proud of.  Don’t discount these things just because it’s you that has earned them and not someone else.

Power – Four of Pentacles – Having your wings clipped is painful and it can ground you when you’d be far happier taking flight.  Be careful that you don’t create a situation where you are left feeling alone and hurt because you clipped your own wings and grounded yourself to the point that grounding is no longer a boon, but instead becomes a trap.

Responsibility – Empress – Don’t leave anyone behind.  Sometimes we get so distracted in one thing that we end up losing focus on other things.  This is true about people, about projects, interests, and even physical items. You’re being given an opportunity to find a balance that spreads your nurturing in an even and healthy way. Make sure that you continue to keep this goal in mind moving forward.

Message from Spirit World – From gray days of suppression, discomfort, and what seems like insurmountable barriers, you’ve done well at trusting your instincts and seeking out what suits you best in life. Make sure that you do not lose sight of these things moving forward.  There is a place for the things you feel are important in the balance you seek.  Just don’t forget what those things are along the way.

Message from Mind’s World – Being pulled between chaos and calm is something you’ve struggled with throughout your entire life in a number of different aspects of your life. Take care not to let these struggles and imbalances drag you down. Instead, continue to seek new ways to deal with them and mitigate their negative influences.

Message from Known World – The entanglement of betrayals and disappointments with your family are in the past. Although the past influences the present, make sure that you don’t allow it to overtake your sense of accomplishment and destroy the spark of fun in life.

DECKS USED:  LINESCAPE TAROT, METAPHORIC THERAPY CARDS

Give Yourself Credit

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Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long, and was a guided meditation from the Calm app with an interval timer added in for my piriformis stretching and forearm flexor stretching.

The focus of today’s meditation was about anxiety and worry, and how sometimes we get so wrapped up in the habit of worrying about things that we forget to look at how unlikely those things we’re worried about are to actually happening.  We lose sight of realism, and lean into projected thoughts which, when we’re worrying about something, can then lead to self fulfilling prophesy.

Better is to have a touch of self awareness so that when you start stewing over something and worrying at it, that you can look at what you’re worried about realistically and give yourself a sort of “reality check” on the likelihood of those worries actually coming to fruition.

The Darlings Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Queen of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s home life, finances, resources, health, manifestations, and the physical world.  This often translates into themes that have to do with nurturing and supportive energies that are strongly grounded and based in strength and purpose.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is the sheer amount of abundance represented here.  The oversized coin.  The plethora of roses and leaves and greenery. The many, many pears piled up around the base of the queen’s throne.   Even the queen with her long hair and long ears, and yards and yards of dress.  She is blessed and willing to share… all you need to do is ask.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today is a reminder that you have more to offer than you think you do.  Sometimes we all get down on ourselves. We take for granted what we have to offer to others, or what we give to others.  What seems like a small thing to us, or “nothing” to us, could be huge to someone else.  Even things such as smiles, five minutes of your time, an offered pen when there isn’t one handy… these things can change someone else’s entire day for the better.  So don’t discount what you have to offer the world, and don’t be down on yourself for not offering more.

DECK USED:  THE DARLINGS TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Reap & Sow Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I best work with the energies available to me this month?

Reading Summary: You’re going to have to pick and choose (Seven of Cups) what you go after (The Seeker), and set the rest aside (Five of Cups).

The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
Question: Tools available to me this month from my “tool box”.

Lua TarotReading Summary: Enthusiasm and alacrity (Eight of Wands) especially when your loved ones and “comfort zone” are involved in the mix (Ten of Cups).  Hope and your spiritual connection to the elements (The Star).

Take Away:  So, I combined two different challenges together for this reading as I felt that they fit really well. 

The message here is that during the month of May, I am being given the opportunity to hone down on my path and the direction I want to take things, but it will require letting go of a few things in order to make room for those things I want to go after to grow and flourish.

In order to do this, it will help to remember to focus on those things that create an element of enthusiasm for me and that I am drawn to due to the emotional comfort and security they bring. My deep connection to my spirituality and the elements, as well as my efforts and commitment to foster hope and positivity in my life will help in making these decisions as well.

DECK USED:  LUA TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What in life lights fire to your creative spark?

The Darlings TarotReading Summary: Healthy alone time (The Hermit). Gratitude (Nine of Pentacles). Getting worked up to the point where I say “Fuck it, I’ll do it my own damned way” (Eight of Cups).

Take Away: Alone time that allows me to connect with myself and with nature.  Time spent among the trees on my own, allowing me to really tap into the forest and, while doing so, give myself space and time to tap into myself. Forest bathing allows me this time and connection as nothing else can and I always come back from these times in nature feeling refreshed and ready to create.

Taking time to really tap into what I value in my life and my accomplishments also lights the fire of my creative spark.  It reminds me of what I’m capable of, what I’ve managed to accomplish, and what potential I have to move forward and do more. It reminds me of the opportunities that have been given to me, that I’ve earned along the way, and that are waiting for me in the future.  This view of what I’m grateful for and future potential is inspiring.

Sometimes?  It’s all about opposition.  Not in the way of fighting with others or obstacles in my way, but rather the frustration of seeing things done a different way, a more difficult way, or being told “this is the only way”.  In these moments I can often become oppositional and my creative spark flares as I seek out a better way that will fit me and my methods more comfortably.

DECK USED:  THE DARLINGS TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took a nap!  I didn’t want to take a nap, but I did.  And I feel much better for having done so.

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

White Numen Tarot, Materia Medica Oracle, Spirit Messages Oracle

Earth – Page of Wands atop The Fool Rx, Lemon Balm – It’s okay to move forward and explore those things that strike your interest this week, but cool your jets and take it slow.  No bounding forward, sight unseen.  Much better to move at a more sedate pace and really enjoy each step of the journey.

Air – Death and Chamomile – Another message of calm, here the reminder is to not get ahead of yourself. Sometimes waiting sucks and we get restless when we know that changes are coming that are not quite yet at fruition.  Don’t allow yourself to push or be cranky about things moving along slower than you anticipate.  Just take a breath and enjoy the ride.

Water – The Lovers and Dandelion – You need to pay attention to what’s not feeling on track this week emotionally and make the changes needed to keep things afloat and balanced.  In the watery landscape of emotions, the flow is ever changing, and it’s important to stay on top of things in order to stay healthy and happy.  Don’t sink.

Fire – King of Wands and Uva Ursi – As you seek to find a balance that allows you to enjoy your work once more, keep in mind that you are not alone.  The King of Wands loves his job and therefore, that job is no longer work. Sometimes in order to find that joy, it’s not only about what we’re doing though… it can also be about who we’re doing it with, as well as the influence that others are having upon us and our enthusiasm.

Waning – Have Fun – This week is not a time for reckless abandon. You excel at logic and analytical thinking and this week is a time to pull back and make sure you’re paying attention to every step.  This doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself, but you need to move at a pace that allows you to make your choices slowly and move at a sedate pace.

Waxing – Synchronicity – When you slow down (as all of this entire reading indicates this week is all about) it becomes easier to pick up on the details around you and hear the nuances of the messages coming through. Clarity doesn’t come at a clipped pace.  Pay attention to the little things.

Take Away – Slow and steady, calm and sedate.  These are the themes of the week across the board.  Even in the areas where you’re moving forward, the idea is to take things a bit slower and savor what you’re doing rather than plowing through and disregarding the pleasure that can be had.

DECKS USED:  WHITE NUMEN TAROT, MATERIA MEDICA ORACLE, SPIRIT MESSAGES ORACLE

Social Faux Pas Worries

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Today’s meditation was thirty eight minutes long, and was a bit different than the norm. foxi ☾, who is one of our members (also moderator) on the Tarotholics Discord server has started doing occasional guided meditations on the server and he did the first one the other day. They were kind enough to record it so that those that couldn’t attend when it was going live could listen back later.

There was nothing in the meditation that created a negative reaction with my synesthesia and I found their voice very relaxing.  There were a couple of things that didn’t really match with my beliefs (like the mention of “the creator”), but it was easy enough to change those moments into something in my mind that did match such as “the energy of creation” and, all in all?  It was a terrific meditation.  The best I’ve done in quite some time.

The Gentle Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Two of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of unity, attraction, and harmonious partnerships.  It is not just about romantic love, but about finding that mutual connection with others…. that thing that makes two people just “click” and be on the same wavelength.

In my life, I often feel a weird sort of negative anticipation when it comes to working with and interacting with others. Almost trepidation, which keeps me careful and watchful of what I say and how I say it long after most around me have transitioned to being comfortable.

It’s like…. I worry continuously that I will misstep, say the wrong thing, insult or anger them, etc.  This is from my upbringing, and never being able to say anything right.  It has been reinforced by some pretty epic fall-outs of friendships over the years.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, the message here is a reminder that some of the lessons that we carry with us can create struggles in our present lives, and that those struggles can often influence or affect others.  It’s a reminder that it’s important not to get too down on yourself for these struggles and setbacks.  We’re all doing the best we can to relate to and connect with one another.  Sometimes it works… sometimes, sadly, things go wrong. It doesn’t mean you should give up.  Not on connecting with others, not in yourself, and not in others either.

DECK USED:  THE GENTLE TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
Question: Beltane – The Seed, The Work, The Bloom

Forest Creatures Tarot 2nd Edition

Reading Summary: You push to do better (The Seed – Six of Wands) because you care about others in your life and want to create a safe, stable, and secure home (The Work – Ten of Coins). But it’s never going to be enough (The Bloom – Five of Cups).

Take Away: You can only depend on yourself to judge what is “good enough”.  If you wait for others to tell you what’s good enough, you’ll work yourself to the bone and never get the okay, or you’ll constantly be cutting your potential short because other’s standards don’t coincide with your own.

DECK USED:  FOREST CREATURES TAROT 2ND EDITION

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do the Beltane Spread

The Gentle TarotDandelion : How can I use my inner strength to help me in healing old wounds?

The Hierophant – Own the lessons learned from these old experiences and carry them forward to help others. In sharing your experiences and lessons you’ve learned with others, you heal yourself in the process.

Bee : Where could I put in more effort to help my community?

The Chariot – Give what you can and don’t worry about the rest.  It’s not all up to you.  You can offer without taking on responsibility, and that would be the best and healthiest way for you to provide more to the community.

Garnet : What do I need in order to foster a greater sense of self-empowerment?

Two of Thunder – A stronger sense of decisiveness.  Sometimes it can be hard to weigh choices and make a decision.  Sometimes, I have a habit of standing back to watch and wait a bit instead of deciding right away.  To foster self-empowerment, working on less “waiting” time and a bit more immediacy to my decision making process could help.

Swallow : Where do I need to more openly display my love and loyalty to others?

Flower of Thunder – My mother.  I need to find a  way to connect with my mother that does not result in us clashing all the time.  It always seems that we end up at odds, and as much as I want to build some sort of relationship with her, it’s something that I’ve struggled with for years.

Malachite : How can I better use intention to bolster the abundance in my life moving forward?

Judgement – I need to make sure that I am focusing on where I want my life to go and what I really want to do with it.  This isn’t about careers, but about the man that I want to be and the people I want to surround myself with.  I will then be able to bolster the abundance in my life by the simple act of keeping my focus upon these things.

Goat : How can I best overcome obstacles before me at this time?

Three of Cups – Reach out to those that are nearest and dearest and allow them to not just help me out, but bring a sense of fun and celebration into the process. Obstacles just don’t seem as tall and imposing when you’re smiling and laughing, and you need them to help give you that lift.

Primrose : How can I add more of the exuberance of young love to my life?

The Emperor – Claim it.  Acknowledge it.  It’s already mine.  The relationship that I have with Gideon may be coming on 13 years long now, but it also often feels like it’s still shiny and brand new.

DECK USED:  THE GENTLE TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I deleted a handful of posts that I’d fallen behind on here on the blog instead of trying to play “catch up”.   I hate it when I have to do that, but I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and a good deal of weight is lifted off my shoulders when I let go of the “catch up” and just start from now.

Beltane 2021

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Tomorrow is Beltane, which is also my sister and I’s birthday. Like Halloween is a time when the veil between the land of the living and the realm of the dead is thin, this holiday is the time when the veil between our world and that of the Fae is at is thinnest.  I personally often find myself amped up with extra energy around this time of year, which I most often use to spend more time playing in that thinning veil as much as possible.

Faylander Art Card, Pagan Underworlds Tarot, Compendium of Witches Oracle, Healing Herbal Cards Vol. 1 & 2

Like with new moons and full moons, I usually do a spread to check in with myself and give myself some direction for the next couple of months for each solstice, equinox, and other Sabbats. This spread is an adaptation of my Self Care Saturday spread, so there are sure to be  some similarities in how it is read. The focus of this spread, though, is not about Self Care, but rather about progress and my path. The time period is also longer, reaching through the next handful of weeks until the celebration of Litha in June.

Theme of the Season – Beltane, Waning Gibbous Moon, Chrysanthemum parthenium (Ornamental Feverfew) – The energies of Beltane are those of celebration and anticipation, fertility and abundance.  This holiday is about the plentiful and fruitful peak of the spring season.   As “April showers bring May flowers” here we now celebrate the arrival of may and the wealth that the rainy season and warming weather have prepared to bestow upon us all.

The Waning Gibbous Moon is the first slow decent from the Full Moon’s burst of power. In that decreasing power, we pause now to take a moment to reflect and focus on gratitude.  Introspection is an important part of growth, and to do this it’s important to take time now to look at the goals that were set when the moon was new and that you have worked toward with the rising energy of the moon towards full.

Chrysanthemum parthenium (Ornamental Feverfew) is a fever reducer and anti-inflammatory that is used to treat fevers, migraines, arthritis, tummy troubles and even bug bites. It’s a common herb used for a wide variety of inflammatory responses in the body, and metaphysically it is commonly used in the prevention of accidents of all kinds as well as drawing pain from the body.

When looking at these three cards together, the theme that I see here is about pausing to enjoy.   Enjoy the spring and be grateful.  Enjoy the abundance… and be grateful.  Allow things to calm within yourself and within your life, and give yourself time to enjoy and relax.  Things will take care of themselves while you give yourself a bit of extra time to just savor and smell the roses. Don’t push so hard right now.

Earth – Ten of Pentacles –  You may be feeling a little tight in the wallet the past week or so, but you’re doing just fine.  All your bills and expenses are covered and you have the money you need for the security and stability you are constantly craving.  So take a breath and enjoy.  Yes, some weeks are tighter than others, but for the time being you are beyond worrying about where your next meal or bill payment is going to come from. You’ve worked hard to get to this point. Enjoy it.

Air – Six of Wands – Keep in mind that it’s okay to enjoy the approval and appreciation of others.  Yes, it’s important to take pride in yourself and not base your self-worth on other’s perceptions of you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy when people praise or admire you. Due to the upbringing you went through this can sometimes be hard to accept, but it really is okay to get that “warm fuzzy” feeling when someone gives you a compliment.

Water – The Devil – The imagery in this card brings to mind the Sidhe King Dagda in Peadar O’Guilin‘s books The Call and The Invasion. Sometimes are hearts desires call to us even beyond the reality of the realm we live in.  There is a longing for more and more, no matter how good the current moment might be.  Don’t get so caught up in that pursuit of more that you lose sight of the present and all the good that’s there to be enjoyed.

Fire – Ten of Cups – You’ve become sinking back into the pleasure of creating and enjoying it again, something that you haven’t had a lot of over the past year or so.  Having L and Z there to share the joy and enjoyment with is finally becoming something comfortable instead of something you struggle against.  Make sure you take time to truly appreciate what you all have together in your mutual endeavors.

Waning – Ruins atop Oath – Stop worrying so much about dropping the ball on your responsibilities and obligations.

Waxing – Bee atop Sprout –  Over the next few weeks, new ideas and endeavors are the flavor of the season. Put your effort and energy into giving these new sprouts what they need to flourish and grow strong.

Take Away – Lots of advice about gratitude, and lots of reminders about savoring what you have in the present.  Although this is a time of reflection and healing, it also is providing the opportunity to explore new things and get new ideas off the ground and running.  Just make sure that you choose wisely what you want to put that energy into and don’t overwhelm yourself in the process.

DECKS USED:  FAYLANDER ART CARD, PAGAN UNDERWORLDS TAROT, COMPENDIUM OF WITCHES ORACLE, HEALING HERBAL CARDS VOL 1 & 2