More Grounding, Less Fukery

TToday’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon balancing your own self care with that of caring for others.

Although my personal self care is usually sacrificed under the altar of fiscal responsibility, this does come a close second for me.  Especially with those that I am close with like my sister, and… reluctantly, my mother.

I’m aware that I’ve fallen into a bit of a self-neglect mode the last few days…er, weeks. And that has started to awaken my self destruct tendencies.  SO I’m doing my best to try and force myself into doing the self-care things I need, whether I’m really up for it or not.

Essentially, that is what today’s meditation was about.  Taking care of yourself.  Making sure you’re okay so that you can help others be okay too.  Sort of like putting on your oxygen mask on a plane before you help others with putting on theirs.

Temperance - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is the Temperance card, which is traditionally a representation of themes concerning moderation and balance in all things.

As I’ve written recently in a previous post, balance requires constant adjustment, compensation, and compromise in order to make it work.  The imagery that stands out to me in this card is very much focused upon the two cups, but also the sparks of light that surround the angel. Sparks that appear to be made of the same essence of what is in the cups.

The message here is that yes, things feel like they are falling apart, and my scales of balance are way off kilter at the moment… but this is temporary.  Finding balance might take a bit of effort and careful experimentation, but I will find a way to keep the scales balanced if I work at it with patience and a calm, clear mind.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I distinguish between healthy enthusiasm and potentially destructive impulsivity?

Reigning Rouge Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation:  Lack of Impulse

Take Away:  There is no impulse in these cards.  There’s no pounce and GO to them.  Even in the page where things are new and enthusiastic, it is in the grounded and steady suit of Pentacles.   What I see here is that if I want to tell the difference between healthy enthusiasm and destructive impulse, it’s in that lack of impulsiveness.  It’s in having forethought and grounded enthusiasm combined with that inner compass of right and wrong.  It’s grounded and solid, not flighty and impetuous.

DECK USED:  REIGNING ROUGE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Where do I need more support?

Janasa Jaus Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation:  Try again.  STOP being such a dick to yourself.  You’re tired and frustrated.  That’s okay, but it’s time to let go of the blame.

Take Away:  There is a need to bear down on practical actions in order to get myself through the “weeds” of the situation that I currently find myself in and not allow myself to fall into a place of self recriminations and self destruction.  Everyone is fucked right now. It’s not just me.  The economy and the health crisis, the whole thing. It’s a mess.  I didn’t cause it, I didn’t DO anything wrong.  There is absolutely nothing to beat myself up about.

These cards are telling me to not let that inner prick that likes to pick on myself take control even if it means enlisting the help of others to make that happen.  Stay grounded and keep moving forward.  You might not be able to see the end of the field through the tall grass, but it’s there… just make sure each step you take in getting there is based in the solid footing of practicality…. and for fuck sake, get yourself on a schedule already so you can move at a steady, dependable pace.

DECK USED:  JONASA JAUS TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Activity
: Draw 1-3 cards. What symbols speak most strongly to you in today’s card(s)?

A Darisa Tarot: The Lomisht

Reading Summary:   What stands out to me in these cards most strongly is the blood in the first card and how it matches the hues of the last card, but how the color scheme of the first matches the scheme of the second.  There is also a personal draw to the rain represented in the middle card, which to me represents a kind of contentment that goes beyond having “everything” and into a pleasure you can only have when having nothing.  This creates an interesting connection between the cards that indicates the beginning of a relationship rather than coming to the end of a cycle as the center card would normally indicate.   The concrete tablet in the last card stands out to me as well, speaking of road blocks between the flames of one’s aspirations and themselves if the sacrifice hinted at by the blood of the first card is not met.

Message in the Cards:  Sometimes partnerships take a bit of sacrifice in order to make them flourish and come out with positive results in the end.

DECK USED:  A DARISA TAROT: THE LOMISHT

 

Soaking Up Some Vitamin D

Today’s meditation was delayed until tonight when I go to bed because today has been quite busy and just didn’t have the time (or want to take time from other things, if I’m honest) to settle in and do the meditation earlier in the day.  Morning meditation is definitely more beneficial for me, though, on a whole.

The Sun - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is The Sun card, which is a representation of themes that include optimism,  fun, and positivity.

I still don’t see that in this card, to be honest.  But that seems to be the theme of this deck as a whole that my intuitive hits upon the imagery are of an entirely different vein than traditional meanings, or even the meanings in the book that came with the deck.

What I see in the imagery of this card today has to do with the defensive stance of the woman in the card, and the radiant power behind her.  That power feels like it is empowering her and providing strength.

What I see here is that I need some time outside, and… that’s fitting since that’s exactly what went on today.   Not around people…. okay so mostly not around people.   I took my sister and Z to the woods for a walk and we stopped over at the wetlands to enjoy some sun as well.     There were no other people around, and it was a nice (and needed) outing that seems to have given not just our bodies but our souls a refreshing breath of fresh air.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question
: What am I being invited to reflect upon this spring?

Tarocco degli Animali

Reading Summary: How I do things and how I can do them differently (l’Appeso) and better (La Giustizia) in order to get more out of life (Four of Cups) and foster a better outcome (La Torre Rx).

Take Away:  At the beginning of the year, I wanted to start restructuring how I did things with my business, but it had to be put off because of that fog of fear created as the reactions to last fall’s letter caught up with me.   Now, I am essentially being forced into slowing down and the cards are indicating that this situation is the prime opportunity I need to begin looking at making some changes  to better balance not just my business, but my home life as well.  It’s time to start looking at how I can do things differently moving forward, and start considering what small changes I can start making to move toward that vision.

DECK USED:  TAROCCO DEGLI ANIMALI

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What is my greatest weakness?

Wildwood Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation: Letting my thoughts run away with me until I’m so wrapped up in them and so worked up by them that I’m stuck in a state of catastrophizing.

Take Away:  So I readily admit this is absolutely something that I do… and yet even though I am aware I do it and don’t particularly find it at all wise or useful?  I still somehow manage to do it anyway.  I think it might be a part of the cycle of how I motivate myself to do shit I don’t really want to do… but turned into an avenue that becomes a detriment rather than useful.

DECK USED:  WILDWOOD TAROT (TRIMMED)

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: Draw a card and record the feelings you experience.

Jonasa Jaus TarotShe is protected and can therefore let go and be free.  She is sensual, and he is rapt. He watches on, holding flowers that are just for her… even if the truth is she handed them to him to hold for her rather than them being a gift.  The true gift here is his protection

The dynamic between the cards feels like a romance.  A secret love not acted upon by either party due to station, or due to the sweet taste of drawing out the temptation into a seduction all its own.

DECK USED:  JONASA JAUS TAROT

Hidden Threads of Inner Strength

IMG_3125Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon stepping outside one’s comfort zone.  The guided meditation spoke on how sometimes we need to step outside our comfort zone, and how as we do this again and again, our comfort zone begins to expand, and our ability to handle discomfort increases.

I think that everyone needs this reminder from time to time. It’s easy to want to nuzzle down into what’s comfortable and wall yourself into those places. The thing is, though, that it’s important to to step outside of those comfort zones… because life is meant to be lived, and a part of living a rich and fulfilling life is experiencing new things.

High Priestess - Hush TarotToday’s draw is the High Priestess card of the Major Arcana.   The Major Arcana cards deal with “big picture” themes that are not pared down into specific aspects of the human experience.  Traditionally, the High Priestess is a representation of intuition, the subconscious, and other hidden things connected to one’s senses, motivations, and spirituality.

Two things in this card’s imagery really stand out to me.  First is the bird cupped in her hand that whispers into her ear.   The other is the Catherine the Great quote wrapped around her wrist.  The full quote says “I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.”  The quote’s presence holds special meaning for me in reference to this card.  It speaks of having an inner core of steel beneath a soft exterior.

The message in today’s card is about inner strength.  It’s about the inner strength that intuition can create within someone that trusts that inner voice implicitly and allows it to help guide their steps.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question
: Where would I benefit from readjusting my trajectory at this time?

Jonasa Jaus Tarot

Reading Summary: Let go of the shit that’s holding me back (Six of Coins) from making the steps forward into new territory (Ace of Swords).  Shit that’s holding me back? The stuff that has triggered my need to guard myself (Nine of Wands).

(The connection between the Six of Coins and the Nine of Wands is in the color coordination between the two cards.)

Take Away:  The fearful mindset and fog that resulted from it from “the letter” caused a bit of a mess for me and made me very “defense oriented”.  It’s time to let go of that mindset and stride forward confidently once more.

DECK USED:  JONASA JAUS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What in my life needs changing?

New Choice Tarot de Marseille

Reading Summary:  Emotional communication (Two of Cups) is not my strong suit, but instead of ignoring my emotions or refusing to try (Four of Cups), it’s time to examine my methods (Four of Cups Rx). I need to allow my development to move forward and mature into something new (Death)

Take Away:  Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by falling back on old habits.  If I want to continue to learn to connect to my feelings, I need to communicate what is going on with me emotionally rather than ignoring it or shoving it away. 

DECK USED:  NEW CHOICE TAROT DE MARSEILLE

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
OK, so in my opinion the original question for today’s prompt was not phrased well… So I rephrased the original question in two different ways and here are the results for each.

Question: How can I keep myself safe while using my intuition?

Tarot of the Golden Wheel

Intuitive Interpretation:  Trust.  These cards are about trust, and taking action based on that trust.  My intuition is an authority that weighs above thought and sparks from those mysterious insides rather than the brain or the physical.  Being safe while using my intuition requires absolute trust.

Question: How can I keep myself safe by using my intuition? (ie: How can I use my intuition to keep myself safe?)

Tarot of the Golden Wheel

Reading Summary:  You have all the tools necessary (Magician), you just need to be willing to listen to your intuition (Knight of Cups).  Allow your gut to sing, and avoid overreactions (Temperance).

Take Away:  This is something that I already do, as I’ve been using my intuition as one of those way in which I navigate the world for a very long time.  Over the past twelve years, my intuition has become stronger and stronger, which to me means there is a clear connection between emotions and intuition.  I don’t claim to know or understand that connection or how it works, but as I’ve become more in touch with my emotions and torn down more of the walls that I have hidden my emotions behind, my intuition has become stronger and less muffled. 

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE GOLDEN WHEEL

Appreciate the Little Things

Today’s meditation was once again delayed until bed time.  I swear to f’ck that I’m trying to fit it in.  I really am.  But there seems to be a serious challenge to getting those ten or fifteen minutes every.. damn.. DAY so far this week.

The Sun - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is The Sun card, which is a traditionally a representation of success, positivity, happiness and warmth, fun and exuberance.

I think that little lizard dog thing has an eyeball on its ass.  Just sayin’.

Okay so what I see in this card’s imagery is a LOT of little details.  All of the cards are pretty detailed in this deck, but today I feel like every time I look away from the card and then look back, I notice another little detail that suddenly feels significant. Just as significant as the last one.  All of them small like the eye looking spot on the rear of the creature at her feet.  The bauble hanging from her necklace…. the fact that her necklace doesn’t go around her neck but appears to hang from her ears.  The skull on her head, her navel, her tattoos, the flowers and wands she holds.

And yet it doesn’t feel cluttered.  It doesn’t feel overwhelming either.

What I feel from this is that the message in today’s draw has to do with noticing the little things and appreciating them.  Cherishing them.   Sometimes the big picture sucks, but you can still find pleasure in the little things.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question
: Looking at the past few weeks, what may have been impeded by miscommunication?

Luna Sol Tarot

Reading Summary:  My progress moving forward into my passion (Knight of Swords) has been hampered by retreat (The Hermit) because I’ve been walking on eggshells (Six of Swords) and struggling to find balance between my personal needs and business responsibilities (Queen of Disks Rx).

Take Away:  Okay so this is about the letter, and it’s about how I’ve reacted to the letter by closing myself, which has hindered my “go get ’em” forward momentum concerning my passions and ambitions.  That letter caused an imbalance, and a disruption in my comfort levels which has caused some problems in a number of different areas concerning my business, my home life, and my own self care as well.

IS the letter a miscommunication, then?  Am I over-reacting to it?  Is it not the unreasonable demand and threat-thru-leverage that I perceived it to be?  I think this might be something I need to think on.

DECK USED:  LUNA SOL TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Where am I at physically at this time?

Jonasa Jaus Tarot

Reading Summary: Independence on my journey (Queen of Swords) toward “traditional exercise” (Hierophant)  is holding me back.  Stop ignoring the help that’s available to me (Five of Coins) and I’ll find a better way (Page of Swords) to move forward and enjoy the journey (Knight of Wands).

Take Away:  So I know that I need to get to the gym and gain some weight.  I know this, and yet I’ve not been able to manage it.  I just have no interest or motivation towards that direction. J has offered to join me, and yet I haven’t really accepted or refused.  Just… meh.    The cards indicate that I need to accept and get going on this.  Where I am physically is in a holding pattern… and it’s time to move past that, and accept the help I need (even if that help is just in motivation) in order to get myself back on track.

DECK USED:  JONASA JAUS TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: How can I move more into my heart space?

Tarocco degli Animali

Reading Summary: Accept that it’s okay to be recognized for the good stuff (Six of Wands) and own that shit (The Emperor) rather than shoving it off, because by doing so it will create contentment (Nine of Cups).

Take Away:  I had some really sweet things said about me today that really made it stand out to me just how differently I see myself compared to how others seem to see me.  It was nice to hear, but there’s a part of me that is always reserved and holds back from absorbing praise internally when it is given.   I worry that in doing so my ego will swell into something ugly and insufferable, and… often I honestly am not sure if I even deserve praise when its given as well.  These cards indicate that it won’t make my ego insufferable, but will create a sense of contentment within myself that I’m currently missing.

DECK USED:  TAROCCO DEGLI ANIMALI