Fucking Up

Not enough time
no organization
can fit more minutes
in a day
and pushing harder
only breaks me down
chipping away
sacrificing
pieces of self
to a greater good
am I even the same man
you once understood?
every day you hurt
just a little more
and the fight
becomes a struggle
to not walk out the door
because what am I doing
but hurting us again
compounding your pain
with mine
over and over again
I’m failing on repeat
never enough
and as tears fall I wonder…
Should I rip the bandaid off?
Should I rip out my heart?
Would he be better off?

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

The Hole

Why do some
feel the urge
to break things
that don’t
belong to them
as if it’s a game
or a joke
to cost others
time and money
or put others
in danger
with their actions

Why does it have
to be so hard
to have nice things?

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

The Rain

The rain arrives with
splats and splashes
as downpour
drenches
all in sight
and mud puddles form
in the blink of an eye
and it drips
from hair
and soaks into clothes
as I listen
to the earth
sigh its relief
at it’s first bath
commences

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Crystal Ball Gazing

Snow and ice
summer and fall
specks of stars
a universe
enthralled
I gaze within
and the galaxy
shifts
the future fortold
in momentary wisps
will it come true?
who’s to say
what’s seen
in the sphere
is true past today

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Feelings of Failure

So much pressure
so much demand
pulled in many directions
by so many hands
all I long for
is a little peace
please fucking god
give me some relief
I’m too tired for this shit
and I ache all the time
both physically and mentally
I’m toeing the line
and the battering
of patience
is killing me.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Don’cha Wanna?

A visit to
the wellness shop
and who do I see?
A cute little alien
looking at me
super adorable
and seeming to say
have a bit o’green
my friend
just come this way
and I have to resist
that sweet buzz
that I miss
and puppy dog eyes
that beg
for a purchase

Photo © ZenStatePhotography