Individuality – Five of Pentacles Rx and Red Chestnut – You’re trying to pretend that everything is okay and put on a pretty face while in the grasp of your struggle.
Dependence – King of Swords, Oak atop Forget-Me-Not – You need to let go of your control issues for the time being and allow things to flow at their own pace. Your strength of will and reason combines with your ability to manifest what you want in life is being challenged and you need to take a breath and release some control. Nobody (living, dead, or otherwise) is going to judge you for that right now.
Creativity – Four of Cups and Aspen Rx – Stop allowing yourself to sink into the seductive feelings of pain and soul rotting darkness. That embrace is not your friend, but if you allow yourself to wallow within it, it will encourage it to manifest more strongly in your reality and hold on even longer than it already is able.
Limitation – Three of Swords, Baby Blue Eyes, Chamomile – Complacency to the darkness encroaching upon you and the dark thoughts and influences that your mental imbalance. These negative influences have the ability to take you deeper and deeper if you let them.
Change – King of Wands and Alpine Lily – Fight… even when it feels futile. Your will is strong and you’re a determined force. It might not feel like fighting against the darkness helps anything, but it does. This is not a fight of brute force, but a battle of will and determination… the kind you are most adept at.
Sympathy – Three of Pentacles and Rosemary Rx – In the past you have resisted allowing people to take your responsibilities off your hand, forcing yourself to keep bearing the full weight upon your shoulders even when in the depths of the pit and surrounded by darkness. You have learned from this experience that there is a better way. It can be hard to follow through and allow others to bear some of the weight, but it’s important to your recovery.
Luck – Princess of Swords atop Five of Cups, Manzanita Rx – Remember that you can take what you’ve learned from past experiences and use that to overcome what is going on now. Not being able to find joy or pleasure in what usually brings these things to you is not a failing of yours but simply a symptom of the illness. You know this… you have learned this… use this knowledge to overcome the negative whispers and dark feelings you are dealing with right now.
Power – The Moon atop Ten of Wands, Bleeding Heart – Don’t drop your burden on the ground, as this will cause uncertainty and problems down the road. Hand it off to those that love and support you instead. They are there to help you, they want to support you. Don’t be so stubborn that you end up putting your responsibilities down so they aren’t being cared for instead of handing them over to those that want to help.
Responsibility – Ten of Cups and Chrysanthemum – You have the opportunity to start climbing to the light and feel good once again, but you have to pull your awareness out of the mire and misery and seek the light. Don’t forget that it’s there just because you can’t see it right now.
Message from Spirit World / Mind’s World / Known World – This part of the reading takes a lot of focus and concentration to work through and I just can’t manage to get the mental clarity that I need at the moment to do them. So I’m going to allow myself to skip these three prompts for this month.
Take Away – It is not surprising that the status of my state at this moment is centered around the depression that I’m experiencing. It is the whole of my world at the moment and the advice here is sound. Let others help me with my responsibilities, keep fighting the depression and seeking the light, and make sure I do not listen to the seductive whispers in the darkness. I will do my best to follow that advice.
Twisting the Leaf 