finding balance

My Struggle With Balance and Moderation

/ Twist the Leaf / 2 Comments

There was no meditation today, although I will make an effort to do it when I lie down tonight to go to bed.

Today’s draw is from a new deck, as I try to switch the deck out once a month (more if I’m just not getting what I need out of it, such as I did last month).  This month’s deck is starting with a newer deck in my collection, the Stolen Child Tarot by Monica L Knighton.   I do not have the guidebook for this deck (as it hasn’t been finished yet), so all my interpretations of the artwork are just that, completely my own, as I have no input from the artist about their work to share at this time.

I would like to share the “theme” of the deck with you, though.   It is based after a poem by William Butler Yeats called “The Stolen Child“.

Come away, Oh human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world’s more full of
weeping than you can understand.

Ok…. so onward to the draw for today.   Today’s draw is the Ten of Flame, which traditionally is a representation of transitioning cycles, regeneration, endings and renewals in the area of one’s ambitions, drive, willpower, and passions.

In the picture for this card, you see a leopard boy looking very grown up, quite stern, and in control.  The leopard body is in repose while the human is erect and strong, a visage of a smaller cat aflame in the corner.

Intuitively speaking, this card speaks of control and strength of will, and that is the message that I draw from this card.   My inner beast is one that is often preoccupied with wants and needs in the form of pleasure pursuits and expressions of my creativity.  When I let it free, it can forget about practicalities and responsibilities if allowed to do so.   Today’s draw is a reminder to seek balance, but not so much control that you torch that inner spark that finds life so much fun.

It is the message of moderation that we spoke about earlier today, and you know just how much difficulty I have with moderation…. no matter if it is moderating that controlling workaholic self, or the fun and creative side.  Either way, this is something that I struggle with quite a bit, and so it’s not surprising that it is a recurring theme in my self care spreads and daily draws.   It helps that I incorporate a lot of my creative energies into my work, but yet that balance is still a struggle.

Today’s card is a reminder of the need for that, though, and an encouragement to keep at it.

Deck Used: The Stolen Child Tarot

Coping With Subdrop

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes and thirty six seconds, and focused on shinrin-yoku, or what is known as “forest bathing”.

This is a type of eco-therapy where one takes a walk in the woods and, instead of spending the time distracted by one’s phone, thoughts, or the drive for getting exercise, you focus on your senses and what you are experiencing there within the forest.

This includes everything from listening to the sounds of the forest such as the rustle of leaves and sound of insects, to the scents of the forest such as the smell of the earth and the trees, the experience of touch through feeling the sun and air on the skin or the feeling of dappled shade through leaves, taking in the colors and shapes and beauty around you, and even taste through how the air tastes as you breathe it in.

When I hike, this is my practice. I am not hiking in order to get exercise or see how far I can go. I am there to enjoy nature in all of its subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways. Sometimes, I might bring my camera… but I always turn my phone off and leave my earbuds at home.

To me, hiking has always been a time to commune with nature. Like some people use a maze or labyrinth to foster mindfulness, I have always used the hiking trails in the forests here where I live in this way.

Today’s draw is the 14th card in the Major Arcana, the Temperance card. Like all cards in the Major Arcana, this card deals with not just one single aspect of the human experience, but instead a broader picture as a whole.

The Temperance card is a representation of moderation, balance, and patience. It speaks of the need for a pause before reacting, thought before action, and reflection before absorption. This is an extremely good card for me today, because the subdrop has definitely arrived! Holy crap, has it ever.

One of the qualities of the Temperance card is to remind you to remain calm during times of stress and chaos. The subdrop is absolutely a time of stress and chaos for me, as I feel extremely vulnerable emotionally during this time.

As a result, the message of the card for today is just to take my time. Remember that I need to consciously seek out balance and stability, rather than just flying off the handle over every little thing. No matter whether that be mentally, emotionally, or even physically.

Side Note: Whenever I am in subdrop, it always reminds me of those movies where a woman is in labor and she looks over at her significant other and screams at him, “This is all your f’king fault, you son of a bitch!”.

Like pregnancy and labor, the sub drop is a joint endeavor… but in the moment, I just feel like blaming it all on you. Just sayin’.