Reaping and Direction

IMG_6550Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and was a guided meditation with interval timer again.  My stretches today were a bit stiff, which I suppose shouldn’t be a surprise since I missed my medication yesterday, which means the pirifomis stretches didn’t get done.

The topic of today’s guided meditation was about how meditation does not necessarily mean sitting in complete physical stillness.  It is about being still on the inside.  It’s about finding a quiet inner peace for those ten or fifteen or thirty minutes of our meditation practice, so that when we need it elsewhere in our day we have experience with it so that we can reach inside and find it again more easily.

Botan Tarot - Nine of CoinsToday’s draw is the Nine of Coins, which is traditionally a representation of fulfillment on an independent level in the area of one’s finances, resources, home, health, and manifestations.

What really stands out to me in the imagery of today’s card are a couple of different elements.  First, the scythe and beside it? The compass that hangs there as one of the coins on the right hand side.

These elements speak to me of the reaping that is a part of how one reaches the level of satisfaction and fulfillment that this card is about, and about the security of knowing that you have a direction that you’re moving in, and that you’re comfortable with.

Both of these elements are very important (at least to me) in finding a level of true fulfillment concerning my home life, work life, and my accomplishments. The scythe represents work and is about the feeling of accomplishment that comes with a job well done.  It’s the difference between having something of value handed to you… or actually earning it with sweat and tears.   It holds so much more value in the end when you earn it.

The message in today’s cards is to take stock of those things you’ve earned, and value them as well as the direction that they have lent to your path that allows you to feel the security of solid ground under your feet with each new step you take along the way.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question
: Where is my heart heavy?

Dragon Age Inquisition Tarot

Reading Summary: Dependable hardworking sensibilities (Queen of Coins) directed towards my new focus and goals (Ace of Staves). It’s coming up fast (The Chariot) and I have to bite the bullet and bear down on a direction (Two of Swords).

Take Away:  I don’t feel ready to set aside the growth and inner work that has been my focus so far throughout this year in order to move into the holiday preparations and holiday rush that’s coming. The thing is, though, that I have no choice in the matter if I want the holiday rush to go smoothly and turn out well.  I need to do the responsible thing and be prepared, whether I really want to change gears or not. 

DECK USED:  DRAGON AGE INQUISITION TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic
: Your Personal Pain / A Healing Action To Take / Possible Positive Outcome

Wiener Secession TarotYour Personal PainThe Fool and Eight/Three of Spades -Weighing responsibility over the joy of playing the fool. This was touched upon in my reading for the Zentember challenge today as well. It has to do with feeling an inner reluctance to move away from the growth and exploration I’ve been doing over the year so far, and moving into the hard and fast responsibilities involved in preparing for the holiday rush and then riding it out when it arrives. I’m trying to not allow myself to think that having been kind to myself and going easy on myself over the spring and summer hasn’t made me lazy… but honestly?  It kinda feels like it has. And those thoughts bring with it a strong sense of disappointment in myself.

A Healing Action To TakeQueen of Spades – Instead of burying these worries or hiding from them, I need to actually listen to them with understanding and offer myself solutions that can incorporate both the responsibilities of my work along with the needs of that softer inner self. At first thought, there doesn’t feel like a lot of options here, but I think that might be my pessimism rearing it’s ugly head. 

Possible Positive OutcomeKing of Spades – If I can find a way to both find as well as sustain a balance between the work I need to do and giving myself that freedom I’ve become used to and now don’t want to lose, there’s a good chance I will be able to develop a stronger interconnection allowing for clearer site that is unclouded by these issues.

Take Away – I’m not seeing the whole picture and because of it I’m feeling a sense of loss that isn’t necessary. I need to find a way to take off the blindfold that is keeping me from seeing possible solutions open to me. Finding and enacting these solutions will bring a stronger foundation to both my work, my emotional growth, and my self care along with a greater clarity on how to juggle these things in a healthy and successful way.

DECK USED:  WIENER SECESSION TAROT

Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question
: Something that I’m stubbornly holding onto that I need to let go of?

Science Tarot

Reading Summary: Fear of the unknown (Wheel of Fortune).  Let go of that fear and see it as an adventure (Knight of Wands), and a whole new world of possibilities will open up to you (The World).

Take Away:  Meh… yeah.  I completely agree with this.  I do struggle with the unknown quite a bit. I feel so certain and strong on my spiritual path and life path, that when elements of the unknown crop up it makes me feel like there’s a big inky black sink hole in the middle of my path.

I know that seeing these moments as an adventure is a terrific way to get through this fear, and that in doing so it opens up a vast world of opportunities and possibilities… but sometimes it’s really hard to take those moments as an adventure, no matter how hard I try.

Side note:  The Schrodinger’s Cat card in this deck is one of my favorite cards in this deck.

DECK USED:  SCIENCE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I love myself more?

Haindl Tarot

Reading Summary: When you actually do your work (Three of Stones) instead of fucking around, and get it done (The Chariot), you feel a sense of accomplishment (Six of Wands) and inspiration to do more (Ace of Wands).

Take Away:  Oooph.  Okay so today’s readings are all about my work, my business, and about gearing up for the holiday rush. This makes sense, but it’s definitely a noticeable thread through my personal readings today.

Okay, anyway.  The answer to one of the ways that I can love myself more is to actually do my work instead of procrastinating or putting it off.   When I actually do my work, I lay the groundwork for self-esteem and a sense of accomplishment to bolster my self image as well as my mood, which in turn lights my inner spark for new inspirations to take fire.

DECK USED:  HAINDL TAROT

The Pursuit of Happiness

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and another fidgety meditation session.  I think that I need another hike to get out some of this pent up energy.  I’ve reorganized my decks and I went through and tucked labels into all of my swaddled decks today as well. And yet, as much as I’m feeling the need to expend energy?  I do not seem at all inclined to spend it on work.  Go figure, right?

Hush Tarot - Knight of CupsToday’s draw is the Knight of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of an active beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, intuition, and creativity.  This often portrays itself in a theme of going after what brings someone joy or following your imagination and creativity into new adventures.

What stands out to me most strongly in the imagery of this card today is the guy down at the lower left corner holding the spear.  How funny is it that there’s so much going on in this image, so much to draw the eye, and yet it’s that little head and shoulders and the spear that draws my gaze.

I think sometimes we all need a little prodding to get going on doing the things that are good for us, and going after your joy is definitely good as long as you aren’t… you know… going after heroin or something.  In general, happiness is important to our well being, and yet sometimes we hold back without any real reason behind why.  That spear looks like a really good prod to get things going, don’t you think?

The message in this card is to stop hesitating and just do the stuff that’ll make you happy instead of thinking about it and putting it off.   You’ll feel better and be much happier if you just do it already.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question
: What’s my essence?

Tarot by Alexander Daniloff 2012 IV edition

Reading Summary: Someone that teaches others (Il Papa) how to find their direction (Three of Wands) during their darkest hours (Ten of Swords).

Take Away:  This somehow makes sense to me in… okay so I relate to this because of something that Gideon said to me… has said to me.  Or maybe he was saying it to someone else and I just overheard it?   Anyway, he said that I have this tendency to tell people exactly what they need to hear, just exactly when they need it most.  Like when I told him guilt makes for a crappy relationship (can’t remember the exact words) and it was in that moment he needed to hear it to realize the truth of his situation with is ex.

I don’t usually realize I’ve done this, and yet I know it happens because Gideon has said he’s seen it happen. Others have said similar as well.   And so I understand and believe… and very much relate to what’s said in these cards.   I love that I have the ability to help people in this way, and I’m okay with not being aware of having done it in most cases. As long as I’m helping others to make their lives better, and thus the world a better place?  I’m good with being oblivious for the most part.

DECK USED:  TAROT BY ALEXANDER DANILOFF 2012 IV EDITION

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What do I need to focus on for self care this full moon?

Dragon Age Inquisition TarotReading Summary: That is one hell of a Three of Staves.  Just sayin’.  This is a newer deck for me and the first time I’ve spent any quality time with it since I received it.  And.. wow on the Three of Staves… just sayin’.

Continue to move forward (Three of Staves), even if it’s done with caution (imagery on the Three of Staves overlapped on the Page of Cups), in the direction of my emotional growth and finding the balance for it in my life (Page of Cups).  Don’t allow my internal anxieties and worries to overshadow this process (Nine of Swords). I’m internally strong enough to keep these things from growing and festering into something that will become a hindrance (The High Priestess).

Take Away:  For self care during this full moon I need to make sure that my anxieties and worries are not standing in the way of getting that emotional growth to a place of pause a safety for the upcoming holiday rush.  This isn’t about backsliding, but it’s about preservation of progress.  Allow my inner strength to shine through and burn off the cloying touch of my anxieties so that I move forward instead of backsliding.

DECK USED:  DRAGON AGE INQUISITION TAROT

Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question
: Generate your birth chart at astro-charts.com and scroll down to houses to learn about your zodiac signs per house.

Houses

Information on the zodiac signs through each house means can be found here.

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What helps me stay positive?

Haindl Tarot

Reading Summary:  My “cup overflowing” with the love of others (Three of Cups) that is fostered through clear and strong communication (The Tower and the Queen of Swords).

The imagery here in The Tower of this deck is about enlightenment destroying the Tower of Babble.  This creates a dynamic in this specific card in this specific deck where the card has the ability to represent the salvation of good communication. 

In this way, communication doesn’t just bracket the Three of Cups in this reading, but are representative of pillars of strength standing strong on either side of the card of connection and emotion.

Take Away: Communication with those I love and trust helps me to stay positive.  It is the cornerstone of any good relationship, and being open and honest with these people fosters the bonds I have built with them.  I am, in fact, unable to always bring about my own positivity and optimism. I need their help to do this sometimes, and it is with their help and love surrounding me, as well as their wise council, that I’m able to take their support and advice without fear of betrayal.  This allows my trust to flourish so that I am able to share the  deepest and darkest parts of myself.  They are my shaft of light shining into the darkness.

DECK USED:  HAINDL TAROT