#discordtarotholicsnov2020

Positive Memories

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I’ve managed to fall behind yet again… and I can’t remember whether I meditated on the 24th or not. So I’ll leave this empty this time around as I finish up these posts that got started… but never published on the blog.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Six of CupsToday’s draw is the Six of Cups, which traditionally is a representation of the emotions that circle around topics of nostalgia and looking back into the past and embracing the joy and innocence that often comes with childhood memories and remembering past relationships.

What really stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is how much gold there is in the picture.  A golden glow seems to enshroud the entire scene, casting it alight in warm hues.

The message her is a reminder to keep your attention focused on the positive when you take a wander down memory lane.  Don’t allow yourself to stray off the path into the dark woods, but rather stay in that golden glow of warmth and positivity.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Advice I need to hear at this time concerning my personal growth.

Edmund Dulac TarotReading Summary:  You’re going to pay for it (Justice) if you don’t allow yourself some rest (Four of Coins) and keep striving for a positive perspective during this busy time (The Star).  It won’t last forever (Eight of Cups).

Take Away: The holiday rush is a really difficult time for me on a number of different levels.  The reminder here that it doesn’t last forever is a good one, but doesn’t excuse not getting enough rest or allowing yourself to fall into those darker negative inner dialogues that can often drag you down.  Personal upkeep, but on a physical level and an emotional one are no less important now than any other time of year, just harder to fit in for a brief amount of time.

DECK USED:  EDMUND DULAC TAROT

Find The Boon

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I’ve managed to fall behind yet again… and I can’t remember whether I meditated on the 23rd or not. So I’ll leave this empty this time around as I finish up these posts that got started… but never published on the blog.

Tarot of the Little Prince - StrengthToday’s draw is the Strength card, which traditionally is more about inner strength than physical strength, and is a representation of persuasion and influence, an inner core of compassion, and the ability to bend others to one’s will.

What stood out to me in this card today is the expressions on the faces of both the boy and the fox. The holiday rush is in full swing and the message here is that even though it’s going to be a hard and busy day, it’s important to make sure that I’m finding some joy in it as well.

Don’t sink so deep into the work that you turn into a robot.  Breathe deep and find the pleasure.  The comfort.  And the joy in what you do.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Pick a topic and pull a card for… Tomorrow / Next Week / Next Month
Topic: My financial health…

Mary El Tarot 1st EditionTomorrow – Death – In the present, my finances are in the process of going through a natural shift.  This is not news, as with the holiday rush upon me, the money is flowing in freely and (sometimes) feels like it’s sifting through my fingers like sand as I spend on postage and supplies almost as quickly as the money comes in.

Next Week – King of Cups – In the week ahead, you will find that you will come to a place of ease and security.  Knowing that the money is there, knowing that bills are being paid and things are going well will give you an emotional boost and confidence.

Next Month – Five of Wands – By this time next month, you will be struggling with the slow down from the holiday rush.  Anxiety over the drop off of sales is natural, as is the struggle to push it forward and keep it going. Inner conflict and the need to push will be burning wild in your chest, conflicting with the slowdown and need to back off and ease up.

DECK USED:  MARY EL TAROT 1ST EDITION

Positive Transformations

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IMG_7893Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.  The thing is, though?  I have no idea what the guided part of the meditation was about.

I mean, I was listening I think… and part of the reason I save the little graphics that come with my meditation is so that it can prompt my memory of the guided topic.   And yet…. even the graphic doesn’t prompt up a memory of the meditation’s topic really.  Not even a vague memory remains.  Maybe I was deeper into my meditation than I thought?

I suppose that the important part is that I actually did the meditation at all, though.  Which I did.  So… yeah.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Ace of WandsToday’s draw is the Ace of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of the seed of new beginnings in the area of one’s drive, inspiration, motivation, and inner spark.  This often translates into themes that have to do with new passion projects, sparks of curiosity, and things that strike your interest and kindle an inspired passion within you.

What really stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the dress that the woman wears in the image.  She looks like she’s draped in malachite and surrounded in crazy lace agate.

Malachite holds within it the energy of transformation to ease struggles and foster insight.  Crazy lace agate is a stone used to foster and flourish joy in one’s life. This feels like a good omen, and I’m going to take it as such.

The message here today is to continue to transform those negative inner dialogues into positivity and optimism.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread #2
Question: I am struggling with incorporating self care into my day. What advice do I need to hear right now that will help me with this struggle over the next few weeks?

Dark Wood TarotReading Summary: Have patience (Temperance), because change takes time (Death). And it can hurt (white is you, red is change) so be prepared for that.

There are connections here in the colors that reinforce the message at hand.  In the Death card, the staff that death holds relates to the hair of the woman in the Five of Swords, and the gown the angel wears relates to the dress of the caught woman in the Five of Swords.

Connecting the figures in the imagery in this way,  you can see that the red haired woman (connected through color to Death/Change) is inflicting pain upon the caught woman in the Five of Swords card (who is reflected in the angel in the Death card drained of color).

Take Away: These cards are a reminder that it’s okay to miss self care now and then, because the effort to find balance after the changes made in my life (both by me in my effort to find better balance, and by the holiday rush) are going to cause a bit of imbalance and that imbalance naturally involves dropping the ball now and then.  And honestly?  Better to drop the ball just a bit on self care than on the business you’re trying to run during the holiday rush.  Thus…. it’s gonna hurt a bit because growing pains suck.  Instead of being hard on yourself, be kind and forgiving in those moments you slip up.

DECK USED:  DARK WOOD TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When have I felt emotionally rich?

Golden Tarot by Kat Black

Reading Summary: This summer when I was resting (Four of Swords) after having experienced burnout (Ten of Wands), and was spending time ignoring much of the stressful crap (Eight of Swords).

Take Away:  The cards here are referring to the time off that I allowed myself each month over the summer. I’ve never really taken time off before, not even when going to my mother’s or out east.  I mean… yeah, I did… but not really.   What I found from that time is that when I’m able to step away from my responsibilities for a few days and breath, I find myself not just rejuvenated inside and out, but when I’m able to step away from the guilt of not working I’m also then able to focus on other things I enjoy as well…. and that I really like that.

DECK USED:  GOLDEN TAROT BY KAT BLACK

Where Are You Going?

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IMG_7874Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long, and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.  The topic of today’s guided meditation was perfectionism, and letting go of the need for everything to be perfect and at 100% all of the time.

It brought up the subject of the “80 / 20 Rule”, which is essentially that eighty percent of any endeavor can be smooth sailing, but when you get to that last 20% needed to make something “perfect” it can take as much energy and effort as the entire eighty percent of the project that had come before.

I get what they’re saying, but I really don’t see that as an excuse to give up at the 80% quality mark instead of going for that extra 20% of a job well done.  That said, I do agree that you can’t give that kind of dedication and effort to every single little thing you do or you’ll wear yourself out constantly pushing too hard.  It’s important to use that extra 20% judiciously and make sure you’re not hurting yourself in overextending your reach and energy by pushing yourself too far.

In other words?  Sometimes you just have to let go and be okay with a “good job” instead of a “perfect job”.

Tarot of the Little Prince - The ChariotToday’s draw is the Chariot card, which is traditionally a representation of control and direction. This is a card that is filled with action, determination, and willpower… all of which often lead to success more often than not.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery for this card is the fact that the birds are carrying the chariot and its occupant away from the strict organization that lies below.   Instead of heading towards structure and organization, they are literally flying away from it, rising higher and higher in the sky.

The message here is about paying attention to where you’re going. It’s all well and good to be revved up and ready to go, and to plow forward with your hands on the reigns.  But where are you going?

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Neptune Question: What can serve as an inspiration, or how can I {best} get/stay inspired?

The Mushroom Tarot

Reading Summary: Sometimes it’s through your unhealthy choices (The Lovers Rx) and being overwhelmed (Ten of Wands) that you find your inspiration. Keep in mind, though, the goals that you want to accomplish along the way (Ten of Cups and Ten of Pentacles).

Take Away:  This is an interesting perspective, and one that may help explain why I felt so uninspired over the summer months when I was trying to take it easy.  The pressure and hint of self destruction could very well be a part of what drives my inspiration and motivation… and maybe that’s okay.

But, if it’s going to be okay to indulge in these unhealthy methods to find a modicum of motivation?  I need to make sure I’m keeping in mind the grounded stability and emotional well-being that I’m trying to feed and foster along the way. 

DECK USED:  THE MUSHROOM TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Three Things to be Grateful For…. Card 1 / Card 2 / Card 3

Global Fusion Intuitive TarotTemperance – Okay so moderation is not my strong suit by any means. But, that doesn’t mean I am not grateful for the opportunity to try for it, as well as those that assist me in striving for more moderation in my life. I am striving to invite moderation into my life, and with it allow for more room for self-care and self-acceptance.

Two of Pentacles – Finding a new balance between my work and personal life hasn’t been easy, but I feel like I’ve done really good at finding a better balance over the past year.  Even now during the holiday rush, the addition of meditation and other self care techniques help me in finding a bit more balance than I’ve been able to manage in the past.

The Hanged Man – I am grateful every single day for the ability to put myself in other’s shoes and see things from other’s perspectives.  I cherish the ability to take things in from multiple perspectives and see things from different angles, exploring not ideas and beliefs but all sorts of opinions and perspectives from as many angles as possible to better understand the world and those within it. 

Additional Notes – Aside from the cards and their individual meanings, there is also a connection between the Temperance card, and the Two of Diamonds. This connection is through the violet shades shared between the juggling balls in the Two of Diamonds and the wings of the angel in the Temperance card. This combination further reinforces that through the moderation I strive for, I am finding a better and thus healthier balance than I’ve had in the past.

DECK USED:  GLOBAL FUSION INTUITIVE TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What or who in my life is healthfully feeding or expanding my energy?

Tarot of the Unknown 1st Edition

What in my life is healthfully feeding my energy?
The Wirt (The Magician)

My confidence in my abilities is currently feeding my energy.  The holiday rush is officially here, and where before I worried that I would not be able to handle the rush, I am now no longer in that state of mind and sure of my capability to ride the rush through to its end. This doesn’t mean that it will be difficult, but I no longer am at a place where I am dragging my feet and stalling out, but rather I am energized by the fact that I know I can and will do this.

Who in my life is healthfully feeding my energy?
Lorna (Death)

Death, in this instance, is Z.  Although her appearance on my doorstep was a bit sudden back in the spring, I’ve had a good number of months now to get used to her constant presence so close here in my home.  She is amazing and supportive in a number of ways, and she knows how to give space when space is needed. She also cooks! Providing me with my life-long dream of having someone cook for me on at least a semi-regular basis.

What in my life is healthfully expanding my energy?
Two of Pentacles

My self care.  I mentioned this previously in the Tarotholics reading, and the card here is a carry over from there.  What is healthfully expanding my energy at this time is the fact that I’m able to fit in the self care I need to give my life a bit more balance so that every single moment of my day is not consumed by work and pressure and stress.

Who in my life is healthfully expanding my energy?
Ten of Pentacles

Z and L both. This card is about my home life, and my home life is essentially Z and L. By expanding my energy, what I understand this to mean is that they are expanding how many hands I have to work with, and how much I can get done.  They are here to help me, and they help with making some of the different items in my shops.  L is very good with adhesives, and Z is spectacular with wire and chain.  Together they have been indefensible in helping me stay on top of things.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE UNKNOWN

Chocolate Cake

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Today’s meditation was skipped because nobody would leave me the hell alone this morning.  I swear to god some days the girls are so totally self sufficient, and then other days?  Every five seconds they’re in my hair bugging the fuck out of me.  Although… Z did make chocolate cake this morning.  So she’s forgiven.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Nine of CupsSpeaking of chocolate cake…

Today’s draw is the Nine of Cups, which is about obtainment and completion in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, intuition, and creativity.  This card is about emotional contentment, and taking time to be grateful and enjoy a sense of satisfaction in where you are at.

On Wednesday, I did a reading about whether I live to eat or eat to live, and here we have a card that is, in its depths, very much a “live to eat” card at its core.  It’s about enjoying what you have, finding pleasure and peace in the moment… and the imagery very much makes me think of eating cake.

The message in today’s card is to savor the good stuff.  Don’t let those things and experiences go to waste.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Neptune Question: A dream, hope, or desire I am asked to feed, or honor {more}.

Ring Cycle Tarot

A Dream I Am Asked To Feed – Emperor (Wotan) – Independence and strength, but with the balance of a softer and more understanding edge. Independence has always been my dream, and one I feed regularly, but that softer edge is new and something I have been working on over this past year.  Learning to find that softness and encourage it is something that needs constant fostering.

A Hope I Am Asked To Feed – Two of Nibelungs – Working off my mortgage is something I’ve been focused on for a very long time and I have a timeline on that I’ve been hoping to stick to.  I’m creeping toward the end stretch of my mortgage over the next few years and I need to keep this hope alive by feeding it and not giving up on it regardless of the state of the world.

A Desire I Am Asked To Feed – Two of Gibichungs – Balance and fairness in all things is something that I am constantly in need of.  When things are unfair and imbalanced, I struggle under the weight of this knowledge and a nearly righteous need to fix it and make it better. No matter how much some may look down upon this need, it is not a bad thing and is a directive that comes straight from my moral compass. Don’t be shy about these values.

A Dream I Am Asked To Honor – Six of Gibichungs – This card echos the above theme of fairness, but here we see a need to foster it not just one individual case at a time but within a community where all understand and treasure the fairness that is fostered and grows there.  There have been many times that my personal need for fairness is all about a personal drive, in this case I am asked to honor the dream within myself that such fairness would be valued by all and that everyone would work together to sustain it.

A Hope I Am Asked To Honor – Justice (Wotan’s Spear) – We reap what we sow, and in my heart?  I hope that this is true.  I hope that, through the workings of the balance of the universe, the truly horrible and evil people in the world really do reap the pain and misery that they have sown. If not in this life, than upon their spirit to be carried forward into the next.  To honor this hope, it is important to remember that you don’t always have to right the wrongs yourself… you instead need to foster the faith that the universe will do that for you.

A Desire I Am Asked To Honor – Nine of Nibelungs – I desire to trust.  I look back on the innocence and naivete that I had a decade or more ago… and sometimes I ache for that gleaming golden faith that has been scored and chipped and peeled away over time.  I used to have such faith in people as a whole… and I miss it. I understand I cannot go back, but I hope to never lose the memory of that time and, as a result, become truly and irretrievably jaded.

DECK USED:  RING CYCLE TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Advice I need to hear at this time concerning my love life.

Ride or Wait TarotReading Summary: Lean on Gideon as needed (King of Cups) and depend on him to keep hope and positivity alive (The Star) rather than retreating into yourself or hiding from him (Four of Cups Rx).

Take Away: It’s so damned hard for me to reach out sometimes and I really don’t understand why.  It’s not as if he’s going to look down on me for needing him.  If anything, any time I express my need of him, he is ready to leap into action and be there for me with eagerness, love, and strength.  

And yet, my first reaction when I need support or a pick-me-up?  Is to sink into myself rather than reach out to him… even after being together over twelve years now.   Why is that?

Obviously, this is a good reminder… and one I need to hear pretty often, especially in times of stress.

DECK USED:  RIDE OR WAIT TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What or who in my life is draining my energy?

Oak Ash & Thorn Tarot

What in my life is draining my energy?
Page of Swords atop Nine of Swords, Six of Pentacles

My ambition and worries that I’m not doing enough. This has been especially troubling for me this fall, as I have procrastinated a good deal of the fall away without getting my shit done as I should have.  For some reason, even fighting against the lethargy of the weight of that procrastination, I couldn’t manage to get my ass in gear.

Who in my life is draining my energy?
Extra Card (In the Weeds) and Queen of Pentacles

Those that are dependent on me are draining my energy at the moment, although through no fault of their own, but rather because I’m not getting away enough for some alone time in nature. Self care is sometimes such a fucking pain in the ass and it feels like a waste of time… and then I don’t do it and end up in a situation of self harm through neglect as a result.

DECK USED:  OAK ASH & THORN TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How have I acted on that advice given to me from yesterday’s reading?

Puppet Theatre Tarot

Reading Summary:  Developed strength of determination (King of Wands) combined with a built up strength of foundation in home and finances (King of Pentacles) allows me to then use these things I’ve learned to better assist others than I could have otherwise (Six of Cups)

Take Away: Yesterday’s advice was about looking after myself before others, and thus by putting myself first.  Here we see that in having helped myself first and become strong both in my determination and my foundations, I then am able to help others in more effective ways later.  Sometimes those you refused to help earlier in life aren’t able to forgive that refusal, and you have to allow for those “spilled milk” people and let go of them so that you can use your resources to instead help those that are open to your assistance in the ways you chose to help.

DECK USED:  PUPPET THEATRE TAROT

Taking A Pause

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Today’s meditation was another of the musical immersion efforts involving my synesthesia, and I just don’t think it’s going to work out.  For the second time I ended up dozing off during the process, and I have a feeling that if I am using music that creates pleasurable responses, that will continue to be the case.  I’ll have to switch back to another method tomorrow.

Tarot of the Little Prince - The LoversToday’s draw is the Lovers card, which is traditionally a representation of not just love, romance, and marriage as it is often interpreted by many, but also about choices and making positive choices that are good for you. This choices interpretation leans into the Marseilles tarot meanings, but I find it applies far more often to the Lovers card when the card pops up for me in readings than the love and relationship aspect.

What stands out to me the strongest in this photo is not one specific element so much as the overall atmosphere of the image. I see gentle warmth and tenderness that speaks of a heart connection, and a hint of wistfulness that speaks to me of nostalgia and daydreams.

The message here in today’s card is that sometimes it’s okay to pause and take a moment, to give yourself a moment to “smell the roses” and allow yourself to consider what influences your decisions and the way forward from this moment rather than leaping ahead recklessly or thoughtlessly.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Jupiter Question: How can I {further} focus on the good that surrounds me, or the good that is within?

Elemental Tarot

How can I further my focus on the good that surrounds me?
Seven of Swords atop Eight of Swords, Queen of Pentacles

Don’t allow the ass hats and betrayals of the world to close your eyes to the generosity and positivity that is out there.   Sometimes, especially when wounds are fresh, it can be hard to not turn away from people and tempting to turn into yourself in order to protect yourself from further pain.  By closing your eyes to the warmth and care others can provide, though, you do yourself more harm than good.

How can I further my focus on the good that is within me?
Nine of Pentacles, Four of Chalices atop Eight of Pentacles Rx

Practice gratitude for what you have, and don’t work yourself so hard that you forget to rest and meditate.  Without rest and restoration, you can’t focus on anything, let alone delve into appreciation for what’s good within yourself.   In order to find this focus you need rest, and you need to appreciate your accomplishments and what you’ve done well.  These practices allow you to feel a sense of pride and foster a bit more kindness for yourself.

DECK USED:  ELEMENTAL TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Greatest Strength / Greatest Weakness / Finding Balance

Antique Anatomy Tarot Mass Market VersionGreatest Strength – Four of Pentacles atop Wheel of Fortune – Finding stability in the chaos is one of your greatest strengths. This isn’t to say that the chaos does not affect you, but rather that you are able to ground your feet and stay centered far better than most would expect.

Greatest Weakness – King of Rods – Your excessive amount of creative spark and drive can cause a bit of a problem.  You repeatedly fool yourself into believing you have more “shoulder space” for responsibility than you actually do, and thus as that sense of creative spark and drive push you forward, you repeatedly overburden yourself trying to take on too much.

Finding Balance – Knight of Elixirs – Pick and choose the projects and responsibilities that truly speak to your heart, instead of just triggering the inspirational spark within you.  Inspiration is all well and good, but you need to involve more than that in your decision making in order to cut down on the things that you take on.

DECK USED:  ANTIQUE ANATOMY TAROT – MASS MARKET VERSION

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is the best piece of advice I have ever received?

Delos Tarot

Reading Summary: Sometimes you have to look after yourself before others (Six of Pentacles) in order to build a secure (Four of Pentacles) and stable (Two of Pentacles) future.

Take Away:  Not the advice that I personally would’ve chosen as the best piece of advice I’ve ever received… and yet it is a really good one. When I was young I wanted to save the world from unfairness. If I had not been given the advice to take care of myself first prior to helping others and taken that advice to heart, I’d still be living in the backseat of an old Buick with no tires in a dark Seattle alleyway. Okay… so probably not the Buick specifically, but close enough.

DECK USED:  DELOS TAROT