dealing with memories

History’s Quicksand

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and ten seconds, and focused on simplicity and the practice of activity seeking simplicity in one’s life over confusion and complexity.

This meditation goes along really well with the theme of yesterdays Self-Care Saturday spread, which was already posted here on the blog earlier this morning.  In the spread it essentially spoke about the same thing.

The meditation focused on how living more simply and embracing simplicity can help us in avoiding feeling overwhelmed.  Sometimes, I really long for simplicity, and as you know I’ve put in place a plan to be able to ease up a bit in… just about six years.

I know that doesn’t help much right now, but I think that this exercise I do each day along with the meditation practice has definitely helped a lot with that constant feeling of juggling too much and feeling consistently overwhelmed by responsibility.

Today’s draw is yet another double without a jumper, as they came out together. This seems to be the week for double drops… or maybe the month for it? The cards in today’s draw are the Five of Cups (as the deer) and the Six of Cups (as the marbled salamander).

Both of these cards are representations based in the area of emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.  The Five of Cups is an indication of struggles, tests, trials, conflict, and harshness, whereas the Six of cups is an indication of vitality, harmony, innocence, and memories.

These themes are reinforced by the animal representations in this deck, as in the guidebook, the deer’s keywords are innocence, compassion, insight, security, love, and wonder.  The marbled salamander’s keywords are awareness, growth, adaptation, faith, endurance, and change.

Combined as they are in today’s draw, these cards are telling me not to let memories of the past drag me down and close me off from the good I have in the present.

Sometimes when the memories come it’s hard to be kind to myself and it’s hard to let go. Memories of Greg and what happened with him.  Memories of the home invasion that happened at the hands of his friend later on.   Memories of the car accidents and recoveries I’ve been through, and the sometimes resentment and other times longing over the things I’ve lost (such as flexibility, a life without chronic pain, my voice, etc).

All of these things are a part of today’s draw, as today’s cards are a reminder that the past in the past for a reason, and although it’s important to learn lessons from the past, I need to remember to not get bogged down by what has happened and let it drag me down here in the present.

Deck Used: The Animism Tarot

 

Being Kind While On Memory Lane

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and eight seconds, and focused on examining one’s habits, when you catch yourself in the middle of them, to see if they are really for you, and necessary, or if they are simply habits picked up over a lifetime.

The guided meditation explained that this is a part of mindfulness and getting to know yourself. That the more that you make decisions and choices based on what is authentically right for you, rather than what you’ve “picked up” along the way, The more mindful and “your self” you become.

Today’s draw is the Six of Cups, which is a card that deals with memories within the realm of the emotions and relationships, and provides guidance to view these emotions with kindness and understanding rather than judgement and condemnation.

The appearance of the Six of Cups in today’s draw is just that… a reminder that when I reflect on my memories, I am kind to myself rather than beating myself up with should haves and harsh judgements.

As you know, I can often do that.  I need to remember that while mistakes of the past can be learning tools for the future, that doesn’t mean you have to relive the emotional trauma again and again each time you touch upon those memories.