creative writing

Gideon’s Challenge

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IMG_5230Together

When we are
twined
together as one
sweat drying
breaths panting
and the world
glazed in pleasure,
I feel shiny and new,
renewed
and recreated.
A diamond
once dirty and dull
now clean,
I shimmer.

In those moments tangled in your arms, my guard down completely and my soul bared to you, it feels as if you see a piece of me no one else can see.  You love a piece of me no one else can touch.   In these moments, I am not myself.  Instead I am the young fawn that has not yet having learned to flinch for the world.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Gideon’s Challenge

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IMG_4588Chaos

Yesterday
so resolute
and then
the morning comes
second guesses
warring thoughts
a cacophony
within the mind
as guilt
and obligation
and responsibility
try to beat me
into submission.
And yet,
I persist.

I made the decision yesterday to take a week off from the business and  give myself some breathing room.  This isn’t a full vacation, of course, as I’ll still be working at the farm and the salon, but yet… it is a huge thing all the same. I’ve never taken time off voluntarily just for myself before.  Not ever.

So it’s not surprising that guilt and doubts would play havoc with my insides today concerning the decision.  Thing is though?  I need it.  I need some time.  I’m not letting the guilt and doubts turn me away from this.  I need the time… and I’m taking it.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Gideon’s Challenge

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IMG_6433Empowerment

It takes
bravery
to try new things,
to open up
and spread your wings.
If it looks easy
don’t be fooled
I struggle
just as much
as him
or you.

I was told this morning that I make things look easy.  I was talking with my boss, leaning against the fence taking a break after teaching his son how to do a carburetor adjustment on the tractor, and he came out with it as we were talking.  “You make things look so easy, and I know they aren’t.  But watching you, it seems like you could do anything.”   Those were his words to me.

I was surprised, and deeply complimented as well… but definitely surprised.  I have a lot of skills, but I worked hard to learn and hone those skills.  They weren’t just magically bestowed upon me, but were developed through hard work and, at times, a lot of struggle. I’m not sure why the fact all that struggle and work not being obvious feels like a compliment… but it does.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Gideon’s Challenge

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IMG_5171Grateful

Your comfort
and support
when things
fall apart
is amazing…
overwhelming
and more soothing
than ever expected.
I am afraid
and yet
your presence
comforts me…
so much.

Yesterday was so hard and so stressful, and I can’t help but be worried for myself.  Yes, I was wearing a mask and my glasses, but I still can’t help but be worried.  Hopefully the worry is for nothing.  Hopefully they either didn’t have it or I was protected enough and took the right steps to keep myself from being infected by their callous actions.  But regardless of that, I am so lucky to have you in my life.  Thank you for loving me… and for caring so very much.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Weekly Creativity Prompt – Adversity and Triumph

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Pull (at least) three cards use them as the foundation to write something (real or fictional) about adversity and/or triumph.

Natural World Tarot

The Magician – There was once a young boy named Manah that thought he knew everything and was indestructible. He was smart and strong, and believed that he could handle anything that came his way, no matter the source. Even though Manah was young, he believed he had everything he needed and was prepared for anything.

The Hierophant – The wise man of Manah’s village warned him that one day he would run across a situation that he could not handle on his own, but Manah refused to listen.

The Star – Instead, Manah decided to strike out on his own. He packed up his few belongings and left his village with high hopes, and began on a journey to travel the world and see many sights.

Temperance – The great wise spirit of the sky looked down upon Manah with patience for his youthful foolishness. She decided to test the boy, and see if he was indeed ready to strike out on his own.

She sent down from the stars dreams that whispered through his mind as he slept that first night.

The Devil – In his dreams, Manah was greeted by a beautiful woman that stepped out of the flames of his campfire.

She was kind and gentle, and he fell under her spell. She gave him attention and asked nothing in return, and in his dream he became attached to her. As the dream progressed, though, this woman began to ask for small favors. Little things at first, and then something a little more.

Soon she was asking for things that went against his nature, and against what he knew was right or wrong. And yet he was no longer able to say no.

Justice – When Manah awoke the next day, it was late in the day and he had overslept by hours and hours. His fire had died down and animals had come and stolen off with all of his food and some of his supplies.

He realized, through his experiences both in the dream and his awakening to reality, that perhaps he was not as wise as he thought and returned to the village and back to the tutelage of the village’s wise man.

DECK USED:  THE NATURAL WORLD TAROT

Gideon’s Challenge

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IMG_5377Rough…

And alone
Ragged and lost
Rooted and adrift
Jagged
Angry
and yet calm
Standing tall
even as
I quake
on the inside.

Someone spit in my face today.  Spit… in… my FACE.
Because I am a courteous enough to wear a mask?  No.

Because of my Korean heritage.

“Go back to China and take the virus back with you,” he said.

Fuck you too asshole.  I was born here.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography