I Am Loved and Protected

IMG_3842Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and on a topic that I’m actually trying to distance myself from a bit.   That is, the topic of detaching oneself and disassociating from one’s emotions.

The purpose of this is so that those emotions can run free and you can observe them as an outside observer.  But the fact is?  I’m not sure that in my case, encouraging that detachment is necessarily a good thing.   It comes too easy for me and I take it to unhealthy lengths.

I do agree with the second part of the point of this meditation though, which is that while the emotions are present you keep in mind that they are only temporary. This is something I work hard to keep in mind when I’m dealing with depression, and I think it is a good thing to try as well when dealing with other negative emotions that I might find confusing and overwhelming.

Four of Oak - Four of Pentacles - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Four of Oak (Four of Pentacles) which is traditionally a representation of stability and security in the areas of the physical world, resources, health, and finances.

What I see in this card today has more to do with hearth and home than with monetary themes or any sort of business or gains.   It has to do with the curled stone children that the mountain goat looks over so carefully.  This speaks to me of stability that is given rather than earned.  The stability that I receive, for example, from you during those times when I am feeling at my most vulnerable.

The message in today’s card is a reminder that that stability is there for me whenever I need it, even when I don’t always realize I need it.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: When do the judgements of others hold me back?

Chrysalis Tarot

Reading Summary:  When I put too much weight on what others are thinking (Seven of Scrolls) it can cause me to miss out on all the fun (The Sun) and new opportunities (The Hero).

Take Away:  Confidence comes from within and from focusing upon the positive.  These cards are a reminder that when I allow others opinions of me to hold too much weight, those opinions can end up influencing my own self image and in turn hold me back from the good stuff in life.

DECK USED:  CHRYSALIS TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: What can I look forward to in the near future?

Lili White TarotReading Summary: The opportunity (Fool) to jump forward into the pursuit of my passions (Son of Wands) in a positive and balanced manner (Justice).

Take Away:  I’ve been in a bit of a holding pattern with my business and the majority of my interests lately, just as most people have been.  This has opened me up to delving into a few different projects that I’ve been interested in that have nothing to do with my business, such as the wood burning I’ve been working on and practicing with in preparation for a project I have in mind,  and the fostering the growth of some new plants out on my balcony.   The cards in this draw indicate that now (and the near future) is an ideal time to enjoy these pursuits.

DECK USED:  LILI WHITE TAROT

 

Finding the Source

IMG_3617Today’s meditation was just under fifteen minutes long and focused on pain management.  This is a topic that I am extremely well versed in and honestly?  There wasn’t anything particularly new in the meditation that isn’t already a part of my own pain management practices.

The theme had to do with not just using the breath and meditation to work through pain, but to appreciate pain for what you can learn from it and how it makes you stronger.  Sometimes, in the middle of pain, just as in the middle of a crisis, it is difficult to see where there may be some sort of benefit from the experience.   Some people, I know, are unable to find that benefit even after it all has ended.

I personally believe that one of the major lessons to be learned in this incarnation of mine is to allow difficulties to strengthen me, and accept the hardships, struggles, and even the life-altering tragedies and moments of victimization as a part of my development into someone better… something better.

Healing Mantra DeckToday’s draw is the “Acknowledging Apprehension” card of the Healing Mantra Deck.

The purpose of this card and its mantra is to assist in teaching one how to step forward into a direction in times of apprehensive uncertainty.

In the book for this deck, it explains that as you identify and acknowledge apprehension in yourself, you can then “recognize that either it is your heart trying to warn you of an old choice or pattern you’re about to repeat, or it is a sense of unworthiness that makes you unsure about” moving forward.

The message here is that the more you are able to acknowledge that your apprehension is there, and the more often that you are able to discern which of the two above mentioned scenarios are applicable, the more adept you become in stepping past the clouds of uncertainty apprehension can create and into a sense of clarity that fosters decisive action.

DECK USED:  HEALING MANTRA DECK

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question
: Root Cause of this time of transition and my reactions to it. (built off yesterday’s cards)

Chrysalis Tarot

Reading Summary:  I’m hurting myself (Three of Scrolls) by focusing too hard on my more material goals (Ten of Stones) and the new emotions I’ve been experiencing (Ace of Mirrors) are spurring a gradual change (Death).

Take Away:  Home and financial stability is my biggest focus when it comes to goals, and that’s not really much of a surprise.  The cards here indicate that I have become so focused upon those goals for so long that I’ve become used to using them to avoid my inner well-being.  The new level of emotional awareness I’ve been growing into is reaching a point where changes are inevitable and, in fact, needed in order to continue in my growth.

DECK USED:  CHRYSALIS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What is the most important lesson I need to learn this month?

Universal Celtic Tarot

Reading Summary:  It’s okay to be soft sometimes (Queen of Cups), even in times when strength of will (King of Wands) and clarity of thought (King of Swords) is needed.

Take Away:  There is a certain kind of strength in softness and emotions.  There’s strength in knowing yourself and being in a place where your emotions do more than create a whirlwind of confusion but actually foster a sense of stability all their own.  The important lesson I need to learn this month is that emotions do not have to detract from my other strengths… instead they can reinforce and bolster and nurture my strength of will and clarity of thought… If I can accept it.

DECK USED:  UNIVERSAL CELTIC TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: What is something I am proud of in my life?

Maruco Animal Tarot

Reading Summary: My independence (Three of Cups Rx) and sense of purpose (The Emperor) that, through times of change (Death), allows me to ride through those changes in life and use them as an opportunity for growth (The World).

Take Away:  This is more like two things… or maybe two things rolled into one thing like a chocolate and creme Ho-Ho.  It’s about adaptability and persistence.  It’s about taking what comes and rolling with it.   That’s something that’s not always easy, and doesn’t even always go smoothly.  Yet in retrospect I continue to do it regardless of what tries to knock me off my feet along the way, or how many times I land on my ass and have to pick myself back up.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: What is my relationship with my body? How can I improve it?

IMG_3625Reading Summary:  Too much good times (Three of Cups).  Instead of unproductive good times with others, utilize their presence and work together with them (Three of Pentacles over The Hermit).

Take Away: I have not been working out, and there are things I could be doing… but have been lax about starting, let alone doing regularly.  If I want to rectify this issue, I need to stop being lax and reach out to L and Z to help me get motivated and assist me in getting to work.

The Tower Rx jumped out at the end of this reading  as I was putting cards away to tell me… “Don’t freak out, this isn’t the end of the world.”

DECK USED:  UNIVERSAL CELTIC TAROT

 

Giving and Receiving

IMG_3425Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon how it isn’t the goal you’re going after that you need to train your attention on, but rather the present moment and the journey in getting to that goal.

This is something that I personally struggle with and have to work on.  It’s something that I need a reminder about often, because I am one of those people that gets so focused upon their goal that they will shut out the present moment in their drive to get there.  Including putting myself through hell to get where I want to be.

A little reminder now and then helps me remember to lift my head up from its focus upon the carrot and take a look around, enjoy the fresh air and the scenery, and allow more into my perception than that dangling carrot I’m striving for.

Healing Mantra DeckToday’s draw is from the Healing Mantra Deck again, and is the “Inspiring Others” card.

The message of this card is twofold.

First, there is the part that I strive for with my interactions with others.  That is that I strive to empower others and help them in finding their own individual voice and path.  This is something I greatly enjoy and hold very near and dear to my heart.  Whether that help I provide comes through a brief comment that creates the spark of inspiration in another, or a deep heart to heart talk that brings about a new perspective or idea, or simply stating an opinion that rings true and right for someone else… all of these ways of touching people’s lives and helping them find their own perfect path make me very happy.

The second part of the message of this card is something that I am not as good at and need to work at.   That is… asking for help.   Allowing others to contribute to my path and my needs using their unique gifts.  It isn’t that I devalue the gifts of others so much as I feel as if I should be strong enough and capable enough not to need help.   That, I know, is unrealistic.  Everyone needs help from time to time, myself as well.  I just need to try a little harder to set aside that unrealistic expectation of myself… and actually ask.

DECK USED:  HEALING MANTRA DECK

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I use this opportunity towards positivity to take back control? (built off yesterday’s cards)

Cry Baby Tarot

Reading Summary:  Watch out for hints of a retreat in mood (The Sun) and foster myself with understanding and a nurturing energy (The Empress) rather than pushing myself relentlessly onward (King of Wands) to fight unwinnable battles (Ten of Swords).

Take Away:  The cards over the past few days have indicated that what’s going on with me mentally at this time is an uplifting out of the quagmire of confusion and discomfort that I’ve been dealing with the last few months. These cards indicate if I want to continue this trend, I need to make sure I don’t allow myself to backslide… or allow myself to go the other direction and work myself ragged.  Instead, be kind to myself and realistically grounded with my goals.

DECK USED:  CRY BABY TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Do Spread #1

Chrysalis TarotWhat do they need less of from me?:  Ups and downs and unpredictable behavior. I get it, and that’s okay.  I know that I lean on this person a lot for my emotional and mental health, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this causes a bit of a rollercoaster effect that can be a struggle from time to time to deal with. Especially on days like today when I’ve felt especially mercurial.

What do they need more of from me?:  More me time.  More us time.  More time spent together, and more time focused upon us and our relationship and the things we enjoy doing together. More time doing the stuff together that isn’t as pleasant too.  Just… more us.

What in the relationship is being neglected?: The subdrop.  Or rather, their role in the subdrop. Their role in keeping me afloat and inspired when I’m feeling at my crappiest and worst.  This isn’t that they are neglecting this role, but rather I am neglecting to accept their guidance and strength and the passion that they feel in helping me through this time when I am at my most tender and vulnerable…. and mercurial.

DECK USED:  CHRYSALIS TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: How would I describe my confidence?

Bunny Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation: Look at all those swords.   My confidence is based in my intellect, my never-ending abundance of new ideas, and in my grounded ability to seek out what I need to keep things balanced and stable.

There is also an element here in the cards that speaks of the confidence I feel in my relationship with you.  In those times when my confidence isn’t at its best, it is that relationship and your guidance that bolsters me and carries me through.

DECK USED:  BUNNY TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: How do I let go of what’s preventing my growth?

Chrysalis Tarot

Reading Summary:  By focusing on being kind to myself (The Empress) and setting aside distractions for a bit of “hibernation” away from the overload (Seven of Spirals Rx) in order to allow myself time to recover (Ten of Scrolls).

Take Away:  Kindness to myself and stepping away from overload are not really my strong suit… but, they are something that I know is needed and that I do try to work on. I do need constant reminders about it, which I get often both from you and from the cards.  Still.  I think I need to try a bit harder to let go of that constant, persistent need to do more… more… more. 

DECK USED:  CHRYSALIS TAROT