balance

What Seeds Take Root

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Today’s meditation was 10 minutes and 10 seconds and focused on transforming negative emotions into positive ones. More specifically, it dealt with irritation, but I really do feel that this could be applied to any negative emotions.

The example used in the meditation explained how you can use your meditation practice, mindfulness, and breathing exercises to transform such emotions as irritation into a more positive light.  This is done by taking a minute and a “step back”, just to take a couple of deep breaths and seek a bit of perspective outside yourself.

The meditation itself included a breathing exercise where you rhythmically count your breaths in, then hold, then breaths out.  I found it so relaxing that I had a hard time getting up after the meditation was done.  I just wanted to lie there and dawdle the day away.   Of course, my stomach and metabolism had other ideas.

Today’s draw is yet another duo, which again had no jumper but came out together. That would be the 14th card of the Major Arcana, the Temperance card, and the Nine of Swords. The keyword on the temperance card is “balance”, and the keyword on the Nine of Swords card is “sorrow”.

To be honest?  I’m not even going to bother defining the traditional meaning for these two cards today, because my intuition is working overtime on this deck, to the point it seems to be almost “mentally blocking” the more analytical, educated side of things.

What I see in these cards is, first and foremost, that Sorrow is at the back.   When I read, the rear card in a double jump is always the subject, and the overlaying card is the commentary.

What the cards are telling me is that, although depression is often a brain chemistry thing for me, in order to assist myself and my meds in keeping myself afloat and out of the mess of a deep pit that my depression is prone to throwing me into… I need to make sure I continue to focus on balance.

I’ve been very tempted lately to up my hours on my part time jobs, because things have been slow with the business.  Not surprising, things are always slow this time of year.  Still, I push myself so hard that the temptation is there even if I don’t really NEED to struggle and strive and push for more.

I need to make sure I remember that this time of year is a time for rest for me.  Next month I have to start gearing up and preparing for the busy holiday season ahead.  June, July, and August are the only months all year that I have to essentially “slack off”.

I need to stop feeling guilt over that “slacking” and see it as what it is.   A time for healing.  A time for restoration.   A time to refill my cup for what’s coming, and repair the damage (emotional, spiritual, physical) that I’ve done to myself over the past year when things were so busy I couldn’t barely breathe.

If I do not give myself that balance?   I will pay for it later in not just my mood, but in my energy levels, creativity, and enthusiasm as well. Which would create a prime set-up for a bit of darkness to creep in and root into the soil.

Deck Used: The Visions of Life Tarot

 

Encouragement In the Face of Imbalance

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes and twenty three seconds, and focused on the natural breath.

Most of the time when I meditate, I do yogic breathing. This means that my breaths are rhythmic and deep, with a full inhale to completely fill the lungs, then a full exhale until the lungs are empty before then repeating the process.

Today’s meditation was to focus on your natural breath, which I found oddly difficult to do. When I allow myself to breathe naturally without control, I find that my breathing is not particularly even, or very deep. And, like the observation effect in physics, it feels as if just by observing the natural breath (even as a passive observer), that the observation results in change.

Today’s draw is the Queen of Pentacles, which represents is a strong “feminine” energy, personality, or person that is both nurturing and practical in the areas of the physical world, money, and resources.

A lot of the times when I see a Queen card within a daily draw, it is a sign of praise for something that is happening or that I have accomplished. This is, of course, a very limited view and I believe that it is especially lacking in regard to today’s draw.

The appearance of the Queen of Pentacles today is telling me that, rather than having found a balance between work and home, it is something that I still need to work on.

I agree with that message, as I feel that I have had very little time with you lately. I’ve been so focused on trying to get back on track after the depression that had weighed me down for so long, and As a result I have been neglectful of you and your needs… and myself and my own needs where you are concerned.

The Queen of Pentacles presence in today’s draw tells me that I need to pay more attention to finding that balance that gives me the time and energy to work on my goals financially and otherwise, but also to spend time with you and nurture that “home” aspect of my life as well.