Looking Out the Windows

Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and was another of the harps strings meditations with interval timer of chimes to help me through the stretching part of the process. It was very relaxing, and as often seems to happen these days when I meditate, I ended up in a bit of a nap afterward. Just saying? But having fruit in the house was a real motivator to get me going as well surprisingly. I was very eager to make myself my berry smoothie, so when I woke up there was no dawdling at all.

Herbcrafter's TarotToday’s draw is the Four of Earth (Four of Pentacles) which is traditionally a representation of stability in hearth and home, finances and resources, as well as one’s health and manifestation goals.  This can also easily turn into a negative card if one takes that stability too far and becomes miserly or overly focused.

Although basket weaving is in the forefront and represents home and hearth to me as well as taking care of those you love, what really stood out to me today is the willow in the background. Medically speaking, its properties include use as an astringent and fever reducer, and the salicin in its bark is the active ingredient in aspirin.   Metaphysically, this tree is considered a sheltering protector and is associated with immortality through it’s reproductive abilities.

What I see as the message in today’s card is a combination of what sits in the foreground, and the willow that drew my eye to the background.  The willow is a protective tree.  It shelters many secrets within its shady embrace and protects them from discovery and harm.  So too does the Four of Earth offer protection through the sheltering protection of stability.

Just don’t get so focused upon that shelter that you forget to look beyond it.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:
  I’m so burnt out all the time.
Question: 
What can I do to remind myself that rest is important before I’m in desperate need of it?

Star Seeker Tarot

Reading Summary: Learn to recognize the signs (Page of Swords), and then seize steady and rooted control (King of Pentacles) to keep things balanced by using the tools at your disposal (The Magician).

Take Away: To make sure that I’m staying on top of when I need rest and when it is most important to my health and well being, I need to pay attention to the signs and not ignore them as I usually do.  Instead, I need to take them seriously and use them as a trigger to bring my responsible self forward and do what needs done to solve the problem before it becomes detrimental to me.

DECK USED:  STAR SEEKER TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question:
  Do Spread #2
How can I make sure that I don’t backslide in my emotional growth from this year?

Dixit Cards v4 Origins Expansion PackReading Summary: The combination of colors that coincide with each other in the second and third cards, connect these cards together, whereas the complete difference in colors and shapes through the first card in relation to the other two mark it as an outlier.

In the first two cards we have a crazily swirling sea with lots of unknown monsters in the dark, and yet the child sleeps and the sailor continues to row his boat.  This indicates a need to accept that uncertainty happens.  The world within the spin of a roulette like wheel then continues that theme, saying that that the presence of uncertainty in life is a part how the world works.

The outlier card, stands alone, separate from the other two by form and shape, subject matter and colors. The figures are packed and moving on…. and this indicates that the uncertainty indicated in the other two cards does not mean that you can just pack up and walk away.

Take Away: The cards here indicate that my biggest hurdle to trigger backsliding is emotional turbulence and uncertainty.  My natural response to these things is to close up and turn inward, retreating from others and the world in order to pull up my “walls” and hide behind them.   In order to keep from backsliding in my emotional growth, I need to accept that uncertainty is a part of life and that retreating from it solves nothing.  Don’t run away, stay and see things through instead.

DECK USED:  DIXIT CARD v4 ORIGINS EXPANSION PACK

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Question: 
what you project // what you take in // what lies deep within

Animism Tarot

What I ProjectThe High Priestess – Mystery in the knowledge of secrets. I found this card to be an interesting response to this question, but at the same time, it also makes sense considering my background and knowledge garnered from being a life-long pagan, fortune teller, and witch.  I think it’s more the “secret” part of the answer that gave me pause, as I’m always so willing to be open about my history and my knowledge, should anyone want to ask.

What I Take InNine of Wands – Energy.  I take in the energy of others, which is often defensive.  I didn’t realize this until recently when Kev did my Human Design System reading. A good deal of the reading rang true, and that included the part about my struggle to connect with others. When I rub people the wrong way, I feel that deeply as it is reflected back to me.  I’ve considered restructuring my shielding to deflect this, but I find the input helpful.

What Lies Deep WithinFive of Pentacles – Depression and pessimism.  As I mentioned in yesterday’s reading, I’m upfront about the fact that I deal with depression and have done so throughout my life… and yet when a depressive episode comes upon me, I work to hide it both from others as well as myself.  My pessimism is something I also try to hide, although it more often becomes apparent during times when I’m feeling especially grouchy.  These things live deep within me, and although I struggle with them and try to fight against them when they rise up?  I don’t think they can really be abolished so much as… managed.

DECK USED:  ANIMISM TAROT

New Moon in Cancer – July 2020

New Moon in Cancer Tarot Reading July 2020

Yesterday was the new moon, and like all new moons and full moons, I did a spread aligned to the moon’s current themes as a part of my recognition of the moon’s cycle and influences upon us.  Today’s spread is brought to you by Ethony‘s Tarot By the Moon series.

1. How can I bring more balance to my home?

Queen of Pentacles – Be a more approachable “authority figure” in my home.  Authority figure isn’t really the right term, but I’m also not really a fan of the term “provider”.  But what it comes down to is being more approachable.  Less stiff and stringent. You can hold things together and keep things on track without holding yourself apart.

2. What old family beliefs need to be healed?

Queen of Wands – You have to be “on” all the time.  Always moving forward, always heading towards goals that are set and just beyond your reach like a carrot that dangles before the jackass.  These goals are passions, but they are always unobtainable other than through hard work and staying on task.  Like a queen on a throne you strive to please but will never truly touch.

3. What old family patterns need examining?

Ten of Swords and Five of Cups – Neglect breeding a feeling of defeat. It’s time to consider you just are not going to get the nurturing you need from those you would expect to get it from.  It’s okay to outsource that nurturing and guidance into other areas of your life and other trusted resources… you do not have to be bereft.

4. How can I be a more impactful community member?

The Hierophant – You’re on that track.  Just keep doing what you love concerning the communities you choose to be a part of.  Guide others to finding the path that is right for them, and learn from them in turn on ways to improve yourself.  You can’t teach without learning along the way, and in this small way you send ripples out into the world that helps make your community and the world a better place… just one tiny bit at a time.

DECK USED:  THE ANIMISM TAROT

Healthy Seeds… Healthy Growth

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and one of the harp chord meditations with chimes that delineate the different positions of my piriformis stretches.  I’m sore still from having skipped one of my physio practices, so it was a good stretch and a good meditation, if a little difficult to hold my position for as long as each one needed to be held for.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is the Two of Fire (Two of Wands) which is traditionally about making  decisions and plans, and plotting progress in concern to one’s drives, desires, and those things that strike at one’s interests and inspirational spark.

What caught my attention the strongest in the imagery of this card today are the seeds that the spirit above spreads, and how they glow in the night as they fall.

I was also very much drawn to noticing the key words on this card, and I have to admit that incubation and pregnancy are an interesting take on the Two of Wands.  They gave me pause and made me think  But, I see it. And I like it. Two of Wands has to do with preparation and potential concerning one’s drive and passions.  And what represents all of these things more than pregnancy and the potential of impending motherhood?

When the seeds of inspiration fall and are planted into the hearts of men, there is a time of incubation. This time is for planning and brainstorming, preparation and the fostering of all that will be needed to support the birth of the inspiration into action.

My “incubation” period is often done in the unconscious, and by the time it floats to the surface, it’s hard to say how long it’s been lingering there in the quiet undergrowth growing behind the scenes.  Sometimes, my incubation period is lightning fast.  I see something, and I get a spark of inspiration, and bolt immediately into action. In both cases, though, that seed has to come from somewhere.

The message in the cards here today is about taking the seeds given and paying attention.  It’s about allowing that spark to create the inspiration that drives me forward, instead of wallowing and waiting and letting the seeds rot rather than flourish.

Don’t forget to write down your ideas.  Don’t allow them to get lost like falling seeds to decay in damp shadows.  These seeds are gifts, and need consideration and planning.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: 
I’m so overwhelmed.
Question:
  What can I do to remove guilt from the act of saying “no”?

Animism Tarot

Reading Summary: Accept that not everything that looks good is actually a good thing (The Happy Squirrel). Hold onto my past experiences of being overburdened (Ten of Wands), and learn from them (The Hierophant).

Take Away:  This is about both discernment concerning what I choose to go after and accept as a part of my responsibilities or obligations, as well as making sure I remember what the beginning feelings of overwhelm feel like and learn from those experiences so that I don’t repeat them. 

DECK USED:  ANIMISM TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: 
Do Spread #3

Psychopomp Tarot

What have I forgotten that needs to be brought with me upon my path?

King of Pentacles – Over a good part of the spring/summer months I’ve been playing it a little fast and loose with my finances.  Not just in the area of my deck collection, but also in the areas of brand name food purchases, less pricing for groceries in general and deal finding in that area, supply purchases for the business that aren’t entirely necessary right now and could have waited to hit when on sale, etc. Some of this is definitely self-soothing behavior, which does not so much excuse it but does help explain a good part of it. What I have forgotten that needs to be brought with me upon my path is a stronger sense of fiscal discipline.

How can I begin to incorporate that back into my life?

Death – Accept and move forward. Self soothing is one of the ways in which I’ve gone off track with my spending lately.  Between the pandemic and the growth spurt I’ve been going through emotionally over the past few months, it’s not surprising that I’ve fallen into a pattern of self soothing.  In order to move past that and incorporate fiscal responsibility more strongly back into my life, I need to accept that the change needs to happen and move forward into it instead of resisting against it.

Where am I on my path at this time?

Eight of Wands – Zoom Zoom.  Good progress and moving forward.  I’m not stalled out at this time, nor dragging my feet.  If anything, I might be moving a little faster than I’m ready for.  That’s okay as long as the progress continues to be positive.

What should I prepare to harvest at the end of the month?

Page of Cups – Intuition and possibilities abound on the creative side of things at the end of the month. There’s lots of possibilities here and you’re really going to be feeling that creative flow.

How do I begin those preparations?

Page of Pentacles – Make sure that you take things slow and don’t get overwhelmed with all that you want to accomplish and manifest into reality.  Overwhelming yourself with work is not going to help.  Write things down and take them one at a time, a little at a time.  As long as you are taking notes, there’s no rush to complete everything at once.

DECK USED:  PSYCHOPOMP TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:
  I want… // I need… // I am…

Numinous Tarot

Dreamer of Tomes I Want more knowledge, opportunity, and stability. Growth, but not through plowing ahead hard and fast… instead I want to take my time and really explore those things that awaken my curiosity.

The Moon I Need a little mystery and uncertainty in my life, no matter how much I dislike it.  These qualities create a certain kind of energy and a certain kind of “spark” and flavor to life.  Without them, life would become more dull and less satisfactory.  I understand this, even if I’m not entirely thrilled about that need.

Strength I Am strong inside and out. No matter what life throws at me, I am a survivor, and I will persevere.

DECK USED:  NUMINOUS TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  How can I share my inspiration?

Aquarian Tarot

Reading Summary: Strong sometimes means stoic and wise (Strength).  Gather up and hold on to your ideas (Page of Swords). Defend these ideas in development from those that would take them from you (Seven of Rods).

Take Away:  Don’t.  Stand strong against the temptation to share. Protect yourself and your inspired passions in this manner.  This warning has come up a few times over the past couple of days.  I’m listening.

DECK USED:  AQUARIAN TAROT

Reactionary Resistance

Today’s meditation was put off until the end of the day as I had a really long drive to do today and wanted to get on the road. I did take a few minutes to breathe and calm after the incident earlier today when the guy spit in my face… but it wasn’t a full meditation.  I’m honestly so tired that I’m not sure I will get it in today, but I’ll try to do it before bed.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is the Neptune card.  This deck is a combination of a full tarot deck and oracle deck in one.   This particular card is a part of the oracle side of the deck and represents the Greek god Neptune, who ruled over dreams and intuition, as well as introspection, perception, and psychic ability.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is how well the depiction of Neptune blends into his surroundings.  His coloring is a smooth blend to sea and sky, his hair swept with the clouds.  This speaks to me of  the ability we have to blend into our own surroundings and use that connection to better understand others and the world around us.

The message today is about listening.  It’s about paying attention and watching, and striving for understanding of other people and the world around us.

When I received this message, I thought it was a good one, but didn’t think there was anything specific in reference to it… and then I went to the post office and got up very close and personal with racism.  Now, I understand this card’s message much more.  It’s about stepping outside yourself in order to find some sort of understanding or peace with the incomprehensible.

It’s about taking yourself out of the personal chaos to connect with something bigger, and in doing so finding a way past the intensity of your initial reactions so that you can deal with the situation in a calm and competent way.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:
  I’m struggling to find my purpose.
Question:
  How can I improve upon the limits I’ve placed on myself concerning my desires?

Way of the Panda Tarot

Reading Summary: Sometimes obtaining what you want takes time (Ace of Pentacles under Seven of Pentacles). Don’t worry so much (Nine of Swords) or allow yourself to feel heartache or disappointment (Three of Swords) just because you can’t have something right away.

Take Away:  I’m doing just fine concerning my limits and going after what I desire.  Where I need to direct my focus and my efforts is on controlling my impatience and allowing things to develop at their own pace.  Sometimes obtaining your desires takes time and I struggle with that.  The cards indicate I need to make sure I stay positive during those moments of impatience.

DECK USED:  WAY OF THE PANDA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
:  How can I bring more joy into my life at this time?

Lumina TarotReading Summary: Generosity (Six of Pentacles) of mind and self control (King of Swords) instead of listening to your inner critic (The Devil).

Take Away:  Because of my self-destructive urges, listening to my inner critic is not just something I do out of habit, but also out of a sort of vicious cycle of self harm.

Since I’ve been on medication that actually works, I rarely have suicidal thoughts or urges, and my self harming behavior has become far, far more subtle.  But, those self harm urges are still there. If I want to introduce more joy into my life, I need to make a concerted effort to be kinder to myself… as well as making more a conscious effort at increasing my control over the tone of my internal dialogue.

DECK USED:  LUMINA TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic: 
cleanse // clear // renew

Animism Tarot

CleanseNine of Pentacles – Clean out your closets.

Literally.   This isn’t a metaphor.  I had a plan to clean out two of the closets in my condo this summer, and I haven’t touched either of them yet.

ClearFive of Swords – Let go of your angst.

After what happened today outside the post office, this makes perfect sense, but I think that this is about more than that.  I’ve been a bit short and cranky the past week or so compared to usual.  I’m not entirely sure where those feelings have been coming from, but I think you’re on to something about the extra emotions adding a level of abrasion that isn’t usually present. 

RenewThe Hermit – Take some time to yourself to do some soul searching.

It’s still extremely difficult for me to get some decent alone time.  There is always people at home and when I go out into the woods I have to do it “on a schedule” rather than just going out and letting myself forget about time and responsibilities as I used to.  I need to make a more concerted effort to give myself some alone time that is quality time.

DECK USED:  ANIMISM TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What advice do I need to give myself and take to heart?

Wild Unknown Tarot

Reading Summary: Take some damn time for yourself or else.

Take Away:  This is a warning that if I do not put in some actual quality alone time with myself I’m going to be sorry.   That sense of overwhelm and chaotic mess that I become when things get out of control internally is coming and if I don’t find a way to “steal away” the quality alone time for myself  that I need, that chaotic internal mess is going to become the center of my world.

DECK USED:  WILD UNKNOWN TAROT

The Happy Squirrel

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was a full body scan that started at the top of the head and finished at the tips of the toes, going through each body part individually before then expanding your awareness to the body as a whole, and then eventually to your surroundings and all you can experience in the now of that moment.

I enjoyed it, although my mind kept wandering today.  Not on any one subject in particular, just wandering to wander.  I, of course, brought my focus back each time, although I have to admit sometimes it can get a bit frustrating when that happens.

Today’s draw is another double without a jumper, as they both came out of the deck together.  The cards in today’s draw are the Six of Cups (the Deer) and the Happy Squirrel card, which is an extra card in this deck that has placement just after The World card in the Major Arcana.

Intuitively reading these cards, I hear a warning that if I am not careful, sinking into memories of the past can lead down a treacherous path.

I know you will think “how is this a positive”, but the fact that it is brought to the forefront and I have been given a heads up IS a positive, as it encourages me to mind myself and my self care, as well as to remember to keep my eye on the present instead of getting lost in reminiscing on the past.   The Happy Squirrel says that taking that primrose path at this time is a bad idea, as it will lead to somewhere I don’t want to go.

Traditionally, the Six of Cups is a card that deals with recollections, harmonious reminiscing, and that pleasurable glow that comes from good memories in relation to emotions, relationships, intuition, and creativity.   In the guidebook for this deck, the Deer has the keywords of innocence, compassion, insight, security, love, and wonder.

The Happy Squirrel card does not have a traditional meaning, as it is not a traditional card.   You can read more about the Happy Squirrel card here and here, though.

In the guidebook for this deck, the Happy Squirrel has no keywords, only question marks.

Deck Used: The Animism Tarot

 

Needing a New Perspective

Today’s meditation was ten minutes and sixteen seconds, and focused on creating space and perspective in times of high stress and emotions.

The message outlined in this guided meditation involved talking a step away and disconnecting with the situation in order to look at it from an observer looking in. During this time you are encouraged to take deep breaths and seek a calm within, so you that you can return to the situation with calm and perspective.

Today’s draw is another double without a jumper as they both emerged together. TWICE prior to this it tried to give me four card readings that I returned to the deck with a request for fewer cards.

The cards in today’s draw are the Four of Pentacles (the Skunk) and the Hanged Man (the Opossum).

My intuitive interpretation of the cards is that they are telling me that in order to feel settled and stable in my life, sometimes it’s important to view the world from a different perspective.

As you know, I spent a HUGE amount of my time in the grip of that fear of losing what I have.  The stability of my home and finances especially.  In a very real way, this is what drives me to work so hard.  Yes, three is some leeway, as I also enjoy my creature comforts, but that just means that I push myself that much harder so that I can have both.

The cards in today’s draw are telling me that if I want that sense of stability, maybe it’s time to start looking for a different perspective (rather than, say, killing myself with work in my current one).

I don’t have a solution for this right now, but I do hear what they’re saying and understand, and it’s something I’m going to have to spend some time thinking about.

Traditionally, the Four of Pentacles is a representation of stability, shelter, structure, taking one’s time to reassess, and in some cases stagnation in the area of one’s resources, creativity, hearth and home, finances, and the physical world.  In the guidebook for this deck, the keywords for the Skunk are confidence, courage, self-esteem, contentment, discretion, and defense.

In the Major Arcana, the Hanged Man is the 12th card, and traditionally represents surrendering and letting go, taking a pause, or finding a new perspective.  Like all Major Arcana cards, this card deals with not one specific aspect of the human experience, but a “bigger picture” aspect.   In the guidebook for this deck, the Opossum’s keywords are patience, introspection, focus, courage, opportunity, and creativity.

Sometimes when I read intuitively, the meanings for the cards will deviate from traditional meanings, but in contemplation of the traditional meanings of the cards drawn to day, as well as the animal meanings provided for this deck, I find that it all is in line with what I’ve already interpreted through my intuitive reading.

Deck Used: The Animism Tarot