New Can Be Scary… That’s Okay

IMG_7581Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.  The topic of the guided portion of the meditation was about holding space for others and listening with more than our ears but our mind and our heart as well.

Often, when we are talking with others, we don’t spend enough of our energy on listening to what the other person has to say.  Instead, we’re in our own heads formulating what we’re going to say next, or musing over our opinions of something that was said, or planning what we need to do later on in the day, etc.

The encouragement in the guided meditation is to use the mindfulness that we use in meditation, and carry it forward into the world in how we listen to and communicate with others.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Ace of CupsToday’s draw is the Ace of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of the seed of new beginnings in relation to one’s emotions, relationships, intuition, and creativity. This often translates into themes that have to do with new relationships, new creative ideas, or new emotional growth.

What really stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the small pink lotus flower on the right near the woman’s arm, and on the opposite side, the gray swirl of what I think is supposed to be her hair… but looks a lot like a shark to me at first glance.

The message here is that there is always a bit of risk in new things.  Things can go well and go smoothly, or they could turn around and bite you in the ass when you’re not looking.  The key is in her lifted arms… which speak of moving forward into new experiences regardless of the risk.  Sometimes you just have to step up and see what’s waiting for you.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Sun Question
: What am I asked to create for myself, or work on, throughout the month of November?

Delos Tarot - The Magician, DeathWhat am I asked to create for myself throughout the month of November?

The Magician – Confidence. I’ve felt a lot of uncertainty and insecurity lately when it comes to my ability to juggle my emotions and the holiday rush.  It’s been sort of wittling away at the edges of my confidence in other areas pertaining to my business.  The Magician is a reminder that I’m capable and that through the next few weeks I need to prove this to myself and create for myself  the confidence that I’ve felt wavering a bit lately.

What am I asked to work on throughout the month of November?

Patience through slow change. Patience is not my strong suit when it comes to my expectations of myself and my personal progress.  I need to keep in mind that most of the changes I’m working for this year are slow growth changes, and not sudden transformative moments.

DECK USED:  DELOS TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Advice I need to hear at this time concerning my personal happiness.

Tarot of the Little PrinceReading Summary:  Alone time is needed (The Hermit) so move your ass (Eight of Wands) and take the reigns and make it happen (The Chariot).

Take Away: Get your ass out into the woods. Stop procrastinating.
Wednesday.  I’m going on Wednesday after my dentist appointment. I plan on running a few errands in the morning after the dentist, and then heading out into the forest by late morning or early afternoon at the latest.

I’ve been feeling the need to get out into the forests for a bit now, but things have just felt so clusterfucked that I haven’t really managed to do it.  But I’ve set aside time for it on Wednesday and have every intention of spending a handful of hours out there.  It’s not as good as a day hike, but it’ll be a good long visit all the same. More than enough time to untie some internal knots and enjoy some alone time with the trees.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question
: What previously unknown shadow aspect has presented itself this year?

Edmund Dulac Tarot

Reading Summary: My issues with slowing down (The Chariot Rx) and taking things at a slower pace (Knight of Pentacles). These issues are rooted in my childhood (Six of Cups).

Take Away:  Ugh.  So much shadow work has been peeking out at me and trying to make itself known recently.  I can’t do shadow work in the fall and winter, and yet it always seems ready to make itself known around this time of year each year.  This shadow, like so many that try to get my attention in the fall, is rooted in my childhood.  Speed and efficiency are highly prized in my family, especially by my father, and I’ve spent a huge part of my life developing my speed and efficiency in all aspects of my life, work, and business. 

Over this year, I’ve been trying to spend more time slowing down instead, which has brought this specific shadow aspect I wasn’t really all that aware of as a shadow aspect rising up to the surface again and again.

DECK USED:  EDMUND DULAC TAROT

Spiritual Nourishment

Today’s meditation was interrupted. The workers came to get the wall patched in my kitchen where they’d had to open it up behind the stove to dry out the inside of the wall from back when I had that water leak in the attic.  They got the drywall up and plastered or… whatever it’s called.   I guess they’re coming back tomorrow to paint and someone else is taking care of the bit of flooring that had to be torn up.   Anyway, they interrupted, so I will need to try again tonight before bed.

Maruco Animal Tarot - Ace of CupsToday’s draw is my current STALKER CARD.   Yes, I have been being chased by the Ace of Cups for a good couple of weeks now, and it seems to be getting more and more prevalent over the last few days.   Traditionally, the Ace of Cups is a representation of new beginnings, the seed of a start, the first tiny spark of life.   It is about love and new relationships, and the whispering beginnings of creativity coming to life.

What speaks strongest to me in this card today is all the water.  All the water… and the communion wafer (host).  In Christianity, the host is seen as symbolism of spiritual nourishment that provides healing, sent by the Holy Ghost (in the form of a dove) .  This speaks to me of spirituality and healing.  Although I am not Christian (and never have been), that wafer and the dove that carries it still contains that symbolism of spirituality and healing for me more often than not.  Interestingly enough, my focus in the card today is not on the dove, though… but instead specifically on the host.

In this instance, the water in this card also speaks to me of spirituality.  It speaks to me of one’s intuition and inner sense of well-being. It is… that sense of one’s intuition and moral compass when everything is just exactly right and how it should be.

The message in today’s card is one of encouragement.  It is a reminder of the growth that I am going through emotionally at this time, and how that emotional growth will connect in with my intuition… creating growth and adjustments in that area as well.   This new level of emotional depth I’m learning to experience and understand will not hinder or lessen my intuitive voice.  Instead, the card indicates that it will do the opposite, allowing the waters of my intuition to flow more freely as the emotional growth brings about healing and more unity between emotion and intuition.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question
: What does my body want me to know at this time?

Sun and Moon Tarot

Reading Summary: I’m not taking very good care of my physical body right now (Three of Swords) and I need to get back on the horse (Prince of Swords) so that it can feel renewed physically, which will also help me in feeling renewed internally as well.

Take Away:  What is there more to say that isn’t said above?  When you feel good physically, you feel good emotionally and mentally too.   When you treat your body like crap, it starts to drag on your mental and emotional health.  My body is telling me that it feels neglected… and I need to get back on the ball.

DECK USED:  SUN AND MOON TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Philosophical Question – Do I think that everyone’s life is of equal value?

Mythical Creatures TarotReading Summary: Yes (Ace of Cups), but there are always going to be consequences (Five of Wands) to ones actions (Four of Coins Rx).   Honestly, the consequences could easily be the Four of Coins and the actions the Five of Wands.  Either order, it’s pretty much saying the same thing in this instance.

Take Away:  The Ace of Cups indicates that the answer is ultimately yes.  Everyone’s life is of equal value, because it’s not about what you do or don’t do or what you contribute to the world or don’t.  It’s about love.  Everyone deserves love… with love comes equality among men.   So yes.    The two cards with it, though, speak of actions and consequences.  A life is a life, but if you squander what you have and lose that life as a consequence, it means that you didn’t value it.  Not that it isn’t of value… but that you’ve chosen to squander that value instead of cherishing it and preserving it.

DECK USED:  THE MYSTICAL CREATURES TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question
: How can I overcome the fear that my new ‘normal’ will bring?

Tarot Fauna

Reading Summary: Reevaluation (Four of Feathers) of responsibilities (Queen of Rocks). Torch the old plan (The Tower) and start anew in the ashes (The Fool).

Take Away:  The Fool has a strength all his own in the innocence and enthusiasm he represents. It is not seasoned and hard and jaded, but is bright and fresh, bursting with curiosity and eager enthusiasm. Use that.

This is another encouragement to make sure I’m not falling back into old habits as things start to return to some semblance of “normal” again.  It speaks of the need to reevaluate my habits and how I handle my responsibilities, and find a new way of structuring these things that will allow for more room, more enthusiasm, and more enjoyment.

DECK USED:  TAROT FAUNA

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I manage my fear of being alone?

The Fountain Tarot

Reading Summary: Remember that even when things are changing (Death), you still possess that core inner strength (Strength) that makes you who you are (The Hierophant)… which includes being an anchor for others that enjoy your company and look up to you (Hierophant under the Three of Cups).

Take Away:  The reminder in this cards about being who I am and that strength that I possess is a reminder that I will never be alone.  Although I do not draw people like bees to honey as some do, I have a charm all my own that pulls in those that can appreciate those things that make me unique in my own way.

DECK USED:  THE FOUNTAIN TAROT

 

New Outlets and Old Habits

Today’s meditation was just under twelve minutes long, and once again I managed to fall asleep in the middle of it.  That’s okay, though.  I think it just means that it was super relaxing, because I wasn’t particularly tired at the time.

Funny thing?  I woke up with the labradorite stone still on my solar plexus and the smoky quartz still on my forehead.  Didn’t fall off or get knocked off in my sleep, regardless of the weird dreams I was having.

Ace of Cups - Dark Mansion Tarot Today’s draw is the Ace of Cups, and my immediate focus on today’s cards was on the dragonfly and the jewels in the cup. The meaning of the card in today’s draw is that I need to remember that my creative process for designing jewelry includes emotion. I need to acknowledge this, and work on moving more toward incorporating that into the designs, while taking inspiration from the emotions I feel, rather than trying to set them aside or push them away.

Emotions are not really my strong suit, and so this is something that’s difficult for me to incorporate into my work.  It does, though, create a greater depth to my pieces when I do this.  The appearance of today’s card is a ‘heads up’ that it’s time to start with this again with an open heart.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: Where may I be blinding myself to the truth of a situation?

Devil Card - Dark Grimoire TarotReading Summary: Well first off, I tried to get more cards for this reading, but the deck refused to give me anything more regardless of how long (or how sloppily) that I shuffled the cards.  So there you go.  The Devil is a representation of self-inflicted addictions, restraints and road blocks.  There are, of course, other interpretations.  But, today?  That is the one that sticks out to me for this card.

Take Away: I am limiting myself and I need to look at in what ways I am doing that, and in what ways that is affecting my life.  This is something that I need to delve deeper into, and take time to really think about.  Especially, I need to look at places where i am brushing off concerns as nothing to worry about.  These tendencies aren’t serving me and need to be dealt with.

Deck Used: Dark Grimoire Tarot

 

Connected and Open

Today’s meditation was fourteen minutes long, and a continuation on the managing stress series that I have been listening to for the past few days.  Today’s take on the topic dealt with sitting with discomfort rather than running away from it.

This is a technique I learned in pain management, but it works for emotions and other situations as well.  Most stresses will pass if given time to do so, and those that don’t, you will adapt to.  It’s difficult to sit with discomfort, though, rather than trying to fix it or run from it.  It takes practice and effort… and sometimes even then, it’s just not something that’s easy to accomplish.

Dark Mansion Tarot Today’s draw is a double with a jumper, and it was very sneaky about it too (because usually if I get more than two? I put them back for a lesser amount).  The two jumped out together, but were so very aligned that they looked like one, then the third jumper came out off to the side.   When I then went to pick up the original card, I discovered there was another one hiding behind it.

SO…. the cards in today’s draw are the Ace of Cups and the World card, with the Hermit as the jumper.

And oh boy… this is all about our time together.  It’s about that new and budding depth of emotion  and how it feels all-encompassing, which is referenced in the Ace of Cups and the World card.  There is a connectedness and an other-worldliness that comes with the drown, and especially as deeply as I have drowned with you this time.  It creates a sort of sensation like a caterpillar wrapping itself into a cocoon, the inside saturated with the water of emotions bright and fresh and open and everywhere.

At some point that cocoon will open, though, and I will need to come out for air.   The Hermit is a reminder that I’m not alone, even if that is where my temptation to run and hide.   You create this space where my emotions are open and I feel connected to everything… I need you for what comes after as well, no matter how much my natural instinct is to retreat into myself.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: How can I deal more effectively with change?

Twisted Tarot TalesReading Summary: Although my temptation is to self soothe through excess (The Empress) while lashing out at others (Justice), or hide from responsibility (The Fool) by running away (Six of Swords), often the best course of action I can take is to submit (Eight of Swords) and let that shit just roll over me, chew me up, and spit me out.

Take Away: Change is inevitable, and the temptations that I feel to self-destruct during those times are natural but not helpful.  It’s important to avoid falling into those traps, and instead focus on rolling with the change and letting it happen, rather than fighting it or thrashing against it mentally or emotionally.

Deck Used: Twisted Tarot Tales