Releasing Knots
A little frayed,
edges browned
curling in
on themselves
as if to
retreat
from the world
I can relate
It’s time
to take a breath
Morning Bonus Read – Personal Expectations
The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“This week, let’s chat about our expectations of ourselves, especially during this busy time of the year.”
What is one expectation I have of myself right now that is unhealthy?
Ten of Diamonds atop King of Hearts – That I can shoulder everything and not crack emotionally under the pressure like a dropped egg. I am not the King of Hearts, and I do not do well under too much pressure, especially if my emotions become involved. With my emotions at a higher level due to the emotional growth I’ve been fostering all spring and summer and the vulnerability that new growth has created, there is a risk of that shell being even more fragile than usual.
What is one expectation I have of myself right now that is healthy?
Ten of Hearts – Allowing my emotions to have free reign rather than being neatly boxed off and walled up for the next five to six weeks. This seems counter intuitive to what is said in the advice above about what is unhealthy, and yet what this indicates is not that it is opposing advice, but rather that I need to find a better way of dealing with these emotions than closing them up in a dark cage in the basement.
How should I shift the unhealthy expectation into a healthy one?
King of Clubs – Use your drive and vision to motivate you into finding and using this better way of doing things. New methods for old habits are hard for everyone, but you need to remember what you’re goals are… and that you can’t reach them unless you make these changes for the better.
Where should I look for support to make that change in my expectations?
Six of Clubs atop Queen of Clubs – From those in your life that both admire you and inspire you. With a foundation of admiration and moral support under your feet, you can take the inspiration that they create in you and carry it forward, even when things feel new, unsteady, vulnerable, or difficult. That support system is there for you when you need it as long as you’re willing to reach for it.
DECK USED: OUIJA PLAYING CARDS BY HASBRO
Chocolate Cake
Today’s meditation was skipped because nobody would leave me the hell alone this morning. I swear to god some days the girls are so totally self sufficient, and then other days? Every five seconds they’re in my hair bugging the fuck out of me. Although… Z did make chocolate cake this morning. So she’s forgiven.
Speaking of chocolate cake…
Today’s draw is the Nine of Cups, which is about obtainment and completion in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, intuition, and creativity. This card is about emotional contentment, and taking time to be grateful and enjoy a sense of satisfaction in where you are at.
On Wednesday, I did a reading about whether I live to eat or eat to live, and here we have a card that is, in its depths, very much a “live to eat” card at its core. It’s about enjoying what you have, finding pleasure and peace in the moment… and the imagery very much makes me think of eating cake.
The message in today’s card is to savor the good stuff. Don’t let those things and experiences go to waste.
DECK USED:Â TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT
LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Neptune Question: A dream, hope, or desire I am asked to feed, or honor {more}.
A Dream I Am Asked To Feed – Emperor (Wotan) – Independence and strength, but with the balance of a softer and more understanding edge. Independence has always been my dream, and one I feed regularly, but that softer edge is new and something I have been working on over this past year. Learning to find that softness and encourage it is something that needs constant fostering.
A Hope I Am Asked To Feed – Two of Nibelungs – Working off my mortgage is something I’ve been focused on for a very long time and I have a timeline on that I’ve been hoping to stick to. I’m creeping toward the end stretch of my mortgage over the next few years and I need to keep this hope alive by feeding it and not giving up on it regardless of the state of the world.
A Desire I Am Asked To Feed – Two of Gibichungs – Balance and fairness in all things is something that I am constantly in need of. When things are unfair and imbalanced, I struggle under the weight of this knowledge and a nearly righteous need to fix it and make it better. No matter how much some may look down upon this need, it is not a bad thing and is a directive that comes straight from my moral compass. Don’t be shy about these values.
A Dream I Am Asked To Honor – Six of Gibichungs – This card echos the above theme of fairness, but here we see a need to foster it not just one individual case at a time but within a community where all understand and treasure the fairness that is fostered and grows there. There have been many times that my personal need for fairness is all about a personal drive, in this case I am asked to honor the dream within myself that such fairness would be valued by all and that everyone would work together to sustain it.
A Hope I Am Asked To Honor – Justice (Wotan’s Spear) – We reap what we sow, and in my heart? I hope that this is true. I hope that, through the workings of the balance of the universe, the truly horrible and evil people in the world really do reap the pain and misery that they have sown. If not in this life, than upon their spirit to be carried forward into the next. To honor this hope, it is important to remember that you don’t always have to right the wrongs yourself… you instead need to foster the faith that the universe will do that for you.
A Desire I Am Asked To Honor – Nine of Nibelungs – I desire to trust. I look back on the innocence and naivete that I had a decade or more ago… and sometimes I ache for that gleaming golden faith that has been scored and chipped and peeled away over time. I used to have such faith in people as a whole… and I miss it. I understand I cannot go back, but I hope to never lose the memory of that time and, as a result, become truly and irretrievably jaded.
DECK USED:Â RING CYCLE TAROT
#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Advice I need to hear at this time concerning my love life.
Reading Summary: Lean on Gideon as needed (King of Cups) and depend on him to keep hope and positivity alive (The Star) rather than retreating into yourself or hiding from him (Four of Cups Rx).
Take Away: It’s so damned hard for me to reach out sometimes and I really don’t understand why. It’s not as if he’s going to look down on me for needing him. If anything, any time I express my need of him, he is ready to leap into action and be there for me with eagerness, love, and strength. Â
And yet, my first reaction when I need support or a pick-me-up? Is to sink into myself rather than reach out to him… even after being together over twelve years now.  Why is that?
Obviously, this is a good reminder… and one I need to hear pretty often, especially in times of stress.
DECK USED:Â RIDE OR WAIT TAROT
Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What or who in my life is draining my energy?
What in my life is draining my energy?
Page of Swords atop Nine of Swords, Six of Pentacles
My ambition and worries that I’m not doing enough. This has been especially troubling for me this fall, as I have procrastinated a good deal of the fall away without getting my shit done as I should have. For some reason, even fighting against the lethargy of the weight of that procrastination, I couldn’t manage to get my ass in gear.
Who in my life is draining my energy?
Extra Card (In the Weeds) and Queen of Pentacles
Those that are dependent on me are draining my energy at the moment, although through no fault of their own, but rather because I’m not getting away enough for some alone time in nature. Self care is sometimes such a fucking pain in the ass and it feels like a waste of time… and then I don’t do it and end up in a situation of self harm through neglect as a result.
DECK USED:Â OAK ASH & THORN TAROT
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How have I acted on that advice given to me from yesterday’s reading?
Reading Summary:Â Developed strength of determination (King of Wands) combined with a built up strength of foundation in home and finances (King of Pentacles) allows me to then use these things I’ve learned to better assist others than I could have otherwise (Six of Cups)
Take Away: Yesterday’s advice was about looking after myself before others, and thus by putting myself first. Here we see that in having helped myself first and become strong both in my determination and my foundations, I then am able to help others in more effective ways later. Sometimes those you refused to help earlier in life aren’t able to forgive that refusal, and you have to allow for those “spilled milk” people and let go of them so that you can use your resources to instead help those that are open to your assistance in the ways you chose to help.
DECK USED:Â PUPPET THEATRE TAROT
Gideon’s Challenge
Procrastination
The rains
have come
and it’s
too late now
the roof
will have
to wait
another year
and we pray
it survives
the winter
without collapse.
Photo © ZenStatePhotography
Timing In The Tarot
Abundant Life Tarot did a video in September of last year about timing in the tarot and how she works with timing in relation to doing a reading. I found her methods really interesting, and ended up doing a bunch of research on this. I find it fascinating all the different ways that people deal with the timing issue in their readings and I thought I would share mine here.
First and foremost, in my day to day readings with no intention of seeking beyond this time period, the majority of my predictive readings lie within a three month span. So in day to day readings, I can dependably expect anything predictive in my cards is going to be within that span. I can then sometimes use intuition to narrow that down even further.
Aside from that understanding, my main method of working with timing in tarot readings is through “landmark cards”. It’s not about having prior warning that “three months from now this will happen” so much as it’s about identifying when you have arrived at the time when the reading is relevant.
How this works is that you pull a “timing card” and that card indicates a “landmark” of sorts. ie: “Start looking for what’s going on in this reading when this (the timing card) happens.” or “Start looking for what’s going on in this reading when you find yourself feeling like this (the timing card).”
This is my most common method of establishing when something will happen. It allows for timing adjustments due to the choices of others and the fluidity of the future, as instead of the querent stuck focusing on a specific week or month or date, they are looking for the “landmark” that has been established, providing flexibility for timing shifts and outside influences.
The second way in which I use timing is by specifying timing in the reading itself. This is how Year Ahead spreads are done and can be used for any type of predictive reading.
In this method, you specify as you do the reading that “next week” (any time period can be used) is what the reading is about. Alternately, you can specify that each card is for a different time period such as… Card 1 Next Week, Card 2 Next Month, Card 3 Next Year, etc.
So for example if doing a Year Ahead reading, you would pull one or two cards for each month in the year ahead, and those cards apply specifically to the month they were pulled for.
The third way in that I have worked with timing in tarot (and sometimes still do, although far less often than the other two methods already mentioned), is through the suits and their corresponding seasons.
Earth – North – Autumn – Touch
Air – East – Winter – Scent
Fire – South – Summer – Sight
Water – West – Spring – Taste
In this method, like the “landmark” method, you specifically pull cards with the intention of timing, and the cards indicate to you the upcoming season that the reading is for. I rarely use this method as I find that the others mentioned above work better for me personally.
There are methods that can be used to chart days, weeks, months, and even specific dates through the cards that come up, but they are not methods I use. Because the future is fluid and ever-changing, getting down to the brass tacks of hours and days can sometimes be tricky, as there are so many variables that can cause timing (or even the reading’s results itself) to shift.
Taking A Pause
Today’s meditation was another of the musical immersion efforts involving my synesthesia, and I just don’t think it’s going to work out. For the second time I ended up dozing off during the process, and I have a feeling that if I am using music that creates pleasurable responses, that will continue to be the case. I’ll have to switch back to another method tomorrow.
Today’s draw is the Lovers card, which is traditionally a representation of not just love, romance, and marriage as it is often interpreted by many, but also about choices and making positive choices that are good for you. This choices interpretation leans into the Marseilles tarot meanings, but I find it applies far more often to the Lovers card when the card pops up for me in readings than the love and relationship aspect.
What stands out to me the strongest in this photo is not one specific element so much as the overall atmosphere of the image. I see gentle warmth and tenderness that speaks of a heart connection, and a hint of wistfulness that speaks to me of nostalgia and daydreams.
The message here in today’s card is that sometimes it’s okay to pause and take a moment, to give yourself a moment to “smell the roses” and allow yourself to consider what influences your decisions and the way forward from this moment rather than leaping ahead recklessly or thoughtlessly.
DECK USED:Â TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE
LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Jupiter Question: How can I {further} focus on the good that surrounds me, or the good that is within?
How can I further my focus on the good that surrounds me?
Seven of Swords atop Eight of Swords, Queen of Pentacles
Don’t allow the ass hats and betrayals of the world to close your eyes to the generosity and positivity that is out there.  Sometimes, especially when wounds are fresh, it can be hard to not turn away from people and tempting to turn into yourself in order to protect yourself from further pain. By closing your eyes to the warmth and care others can provide, though, you do yourself more harm than good.
How can I further my focus on the good that is within me?
Nine of Pentacles, Four of Chalices atop Eight of Pentacles Rx
Practice gratitude for what you have, and don’t work yourself so hard that you forget to rest and meditate. Without rest and restoration, you can’t focus on anything, let alone delve into appreciation for what’s good within yourself.  In order to find this focus you need rest, and you need to appreciate your accomplishments and what you’ve done well. These practices allow you to feel a sense of pride and foster a bit more kindness for yourself.
DECK USED:Â ELEMENTAL TAROT
#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Greatest Strength / Greatest Weakness / Finding Balance
Greatest Strength – Four of Pentacles atop Wheel of Fortune – Finding stability in the chaos is one of your greatest strengths. This isn’t to say that the chaos does not affect you, but rather that you are able to ground your feet and stay centered far better than most would expect.
Greatest Weakness – King of Rods – Your excessive amount of creative spark and drive can cause a bit of a problem. You repeatedly fool yourself into believing you have more “shoulder space” for responsibility than you actually do, and thus as that sense of creative spark and drive push you forward, you repeatedly overburden yourself trying to take on too much.
Finding Balance – Knight of Elixirs – Pick and choose the projects and responsibilities that truly speak to your heart, instead of just triggering the inspirational spark within you. Inspiration is all well and good, but you need to involve more than that in your decision making in order to cut down on the things that you take on.
DECK USED:Â ANTIQUE ANATOMY TAROT – MASS MARKET VERSION
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is the best piece of advice I have ever received?
Reading Summary: Sometimes you have to look after yourself before others (Six of Pentacles) in order to build a secure (Four of Pentacles) and stable (Two of Pentacles) future.
Take Away: Not the advice that I personally would’ve chosen as the best piece of advice I’ve ever received… and yet it is a really good one. When I was young I wanted to save the world from unfairness. If I had not been given the advice to take care of myself first prior to helping others and taken that advice to heart, I’d still be living in the backseat of an old Buick with no tires in a dark Seattle alleyway. Okay… so probably not the Buick specifically, but close enough.
