Too Much Armor Is Too Heavy

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IMG_1076Today’s meditation was just over thirteen minutes long and was one of the guided meditations from the Calm app with an interval timer added in for my piriformis stretches and forearm flexor stretches.  This often works really well for me as it allows me to listen to the guided meditation, then extend the length a bit afterward to continue until the stretching is finished.

The focus of today’s meditation was about emotional reclamation. That is to say about not rejecting your emotions or feeling ashamed about them, but accepting them as they come and learning how to understand them and process them in a healthy way.  I really liked the Mr Rogers quote included in this meditation, which you can see in the graphic on the right.  It really speaks to me of how I’ve viewed and dealt with my emotions in the past, and the path forward to finding a better way in the present and the future.

Isabel Snail Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Queen of Cups, which is a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition. This often translates into themes that have to do with emotional support and those in your life that are good listeners or are there for you on an emotional level.

Here we see Isabel Snail studying the book “Compassion 101” while chilling at the seashore with a cocktail.  To me the imagery here is a perfect representation of what this card is all about, for it is through the self assured Queen of Cups in our lives that are comfortable with their own emotions that we learn how to understand and process ours.  These people are kind and compassionate, and willing to help support you and teach you through their own experiences how to navigate the watery uncertainty of an emotional landscape.

When combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a message about making sure we’re not rejecting help when it’s being offered. It’s great to be able to take on challenges head-on and push forward, but not if it’s going to bury your emotions in doing so.  Sometimes?  Having a Queen of Compassion on your side to keep you in touch with your emotions can help ensure that you don’t put on so much armor that you end up fighting alone… and lonely.

DECK USED:  ISABEL SNAIL TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
Question: Where can I find the energy to sustain myself when I am struggling?

Miracle Tarot by Reiko Shimizu

Reading Summary: When in need of rest and recovery (Four of Swords), you need to slow down and conserve your energy (Knight of Swords Rx). Speak plainly during these times, whether this is in your thoughts or in communication with others (Queen of Swords).

Take Away: Beating around the bush is not your strong suit in the first place, and when you’re struggling and low on energy, trying to do so can be extremely draining.  People are used to your practical, logic-leaning brain and they are rarely taken by surprise when you’re blunt or speak plainly, so when you are feeling you need to rest and recover?  Stop trying to soften your words and beat around the bush. Just speak clearly and it’ll sort itself out just fine.

DECK USED:  MIRACLE TAROT BY REIKO SHIMIZU

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can you go about adding more fun and play into your life?

Isabel Snail TarotReading Summary: Don’t spend so much time struggling to balance responsibility (King of Thorns) with overwhelm (Ten of Wands).  Find a better path (Three of Wands).

Take Away: This is the fatal flaw in my balancing act, yeah? For a really long time, instead of trying to balance home and work… I was trying to balance responsibilities and my sense of overwhelm. Although this allowed me to get a great deal done? It didn’t allow for any personal time at all, let alone time for things like fun and games.

In the past couple of years I’ve been working at finding a better path, and keeping my focus on a balance between self care and work instead of work and overwhelm. This has allowed for me to care more for myself and fill some of those needs I have been neglecting so long.   The Three of Wands indicates that this same path can also be used to find time for play.  I only have to look for the fun and it will be there for me, ready and waiting to come with me on the journey forward.

DECK USED:  ISABEL SNAIL TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took a nap even though I wanted to spend that time with Gideon.  I was having some stomach issues and the nap seemed to help a bit, or maybe it was the Imodium… or both.

Gideon’s Challenge

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The Draw

Powdered sugar hilltops
flirt with the senses
luring
tempting
and promising adventure
as they whisper
about cool temps
and a crisp nip
to the air.
Come, they say.
Come climb higher
til altitude causes
panted breaths
and sweat to cool
on the skin

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Morning Bonus Read – Monthly Key Spread

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Art Nouveau Lenormand - Monthly Key Spread

Key to Your Heart: What will Guide you to make decisions that are aligned with your heart and your truths this month?

Anchor – Grounding is going to be very important to your peace of mind this month. When life is feeling a bit out of control, be sure to fall back into this practice, as making sure that you are well grounded will help a great deal in insuring that you make decisions that remain aligned with your hearts and truths, as well as your moral compass.

Anchor: What will ground you in the face of anxiety, stress, overwhelm, and existential dread in general?

Bear – Be fierce. Be strong. There are a lot of ways to deal with anxiety, stress, overwhelm, and depression. This month?  Don’t take that shit lying down. Protect what’s yours and stand strong in the face of the opposition and perceived problems. This doesn’t mean treating yourself badly or taking for granted your need for your own self care, it means you do what needs done to keep yourself steady and strong.

Star Wand: What accelerates your magic, creativity, and manifestation powers?

Tower – Isolation and alone time gives you the connection to your inner magic needed to create and manifest.  When you don’t get enough of this healthy alone time where you can hole up and just be, then you begin to loose your enthusiasm for creative endeavors and manifestation powers.   When you start to feel that loss, it’s time to step away and retreat to your place of peace and quiet, give yourself some alone time to set your energies back to right again.

Blessings from the Stars: The Universe has got your back – how will you be supported this month?

Clover – Luck!  Not the long term kind, but the kind that comes in short bursts just when you need it.  Don’t anticipate the worst and allow for self fulfilling prophesies to become reality.  Instead, allow yourself to anticipate that luck is on your side this month and is going to pounce in to lend a hand when you need a bit of extra help.

One Trick Up Your Sleeve: A life saving idea or inspiration for any unexpected challenge or difficult moments?

Broom – Lean in.  Use that remarkable focus and drive to overcome these moments. Remember that you  have a lot of experience with struggle and strife to fall back on to help you in moving forward.  You may not escape unscathed, but you are well prepared with will power and determination, and you can do it if you put your mind to it.

Emergence Pt 1: What is emerging within you / within your reality right now?

Moon – Out of the darkness of the depression you went through in the early part of the year, this month you will find yourself free to feel once more. Emotions are rising to the surface

Emergence Pt 2: What are you expanding towards?

Mice – Remember that your emotions and your intuition are intimately connected.  When one is stifled, so is the other.  When one is thriving, as this card indicates will be the case this week… so too will the other. Make sure that you don’t struggle against the rise of emotions, or you will end up muffling your intuition in the process.  Burying your emotions has always seemed quite harmless and even beneficial for the most part, but it’s not.

DECK USED:  ART NOUVEAU LENORMAND

Generosity Is For All

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Today’s meditation was skipped because it’s an orders day.  I think I’m going to fit this in as a regular thing, as I’m wondering if it will help me in finding a better balance and not avoiding my meditation if on the days when I am the absolute most busy (Mondays and Thursdays) I just skip the meditation entirely and don’t feel guilty about it.

We’ll give it a try this month and see how it goes.

Good Karma Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Six of Coins, which is traditionally a representation of generosity, sharing, equality, and finding balance through distribution of wealth and/or privilege.

It’s the last of those (distribution of wealth) that I see here in this card.  Between the two figures grows a money tree, and it’s not clear in the imagery who the tree belongs to  Nor is it clear in the imagery who the coin belongs to.  Is it being given from left to right?  Or was it handed over from right to left?

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a reminder that generosity isn’t just for others. It’s also for the self.

We, as humans, need a certain amount of self care. It’s a necessity.  This does not make us weak, nor should we be looking at others and being understanding of their needs… and yet harsh with ourselves for our own.  Your needs are just as valid as everyone else’s, so stop beating yourself up for that nap, or meditation, or break, or little extra bit of self care you do for yourself, or want to do but keep fighting against. Be as generous with yourself as you are with others. You deserve that self care and generosity just as much as others do.

DECK USED:  GOOD KARMA TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Question: How can I better cope with my times of deep depression?

Conference of the Birds Tarot

Reading Summary: Use that time to learn a new skill that you were passionate enough to write down in your ideas book (Knave of Wands), and lean on others for help (Three of Pentacles). Keep your eye on the prize (Knight of Swords).

Take Away:  Unlike sadness (which is what this question originally referenced), depression is a condition that you can’t just lift yourself out of. It’s something you have to ride out. I my case, it has a distinct pattern to it.  A descent, a brief pause at the bottom of the pit, and then a slow climb back up to normal. This pattern takes about 2-3 months to complete.

The advice here is that during this time, when I realize that the onset and descent is upon me, dip into my ideas book and pick out an idea that I was passionate enough to write down, and begin to explore that skill.   These 2-3 months become “lost time” later, where the entirety of the time is wiped from my memory, but the skills learned will remain like muscle memory.  So in a way, it would be like osmosis.  Like coming out of the depression is “waking up” and while I was “asleep” I learned a new skill.

Added to this is a reminder to ask for help.  Don’t just fall into the depressive pit and forget that others are there to help you in keeping everything going smoothly. All of the responsibility does not need to rest on your shoulders alone, and especially not during times when you’re struggling with depression.

The third piece of advice is about focus. It’s about making sure that I remember that the depression is only temporary, and that it won’t last forever.  Keep moving forward, keep looking for the light.  Keep climbing.  Don’t give up.

DECK USED:  CONFERENCE OF THE BIRDS TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: How would you benefit from adding more fun and play into your life?

Good Karma TarotReading Summary:  I would look at running my business in a new light (King of Wands atop Hanged Woman) and build stronger connections with those closest to me (Two of Cups) while still remaining in control of where I want things to go and leading the way for those others in my life to do the same (Queen of Swords).

Take Away: This sounds like such a good idea but I have such a hard block to the whole “Fun and Play” thing that it becomes really hard to view my business in this light, regardless of the fact that I enjoy making jewelry and most everything involved in that. 

I understand that changing my perspective will relieve a good deal of stress I carry on my shoulders, though, and give me a deeper connection with those that I work with (my sister and Z).  I’m just not entirely sure how to instill that sense of fun and play into the process without losing track of the control needed to make sure everything gets done and runs smoothly.   Which is where the Queen of Swords comes in, as this card indicates that there is indeed a way to do it and make it work, but it will take some effort and “building of experience” to get there.

DECK USED:  GOOD KARMA TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took some time to chill with my flowers out on the balcony today even though it’s an orders day.  And I took an ibuprofen for my headache instead of just suffering with it and hoping it would go away on its own.

Gideon’s Challenge

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The Savoring

Stop
for just a moment
Stop
and take a breath
allow the world
to give you peace
through the
sweet scent
of fresh rain
and green grasses
Let the world
move without you
as you savor
this moment

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Transitioning from April to May

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Linescape Tarot and Metaphoric Therapy Cards

Individuality – Seven of Pentacles – It can often be difficult to remember that others do not judge you as harshly as you judge yourself.  You’ve come a long way in your growth and in grounding yourself in this knowledge, but you also still have a long way to go.  No one is staring at you.  Promise.  They want to accept you and love you, just as you are.

Dependence – High Priestess – Let go of the chaos and your intuition will become better grounded. All that anxiety is like a tornado turning your world upside down and making it hard to find the balance and stability needed for your intuitive self to grow and thrive.

Creativity – Ace of Swords atop Five of Cups – Overcoming hopelessness with new ideas is something you excel at and need to lean into moving forward.  Don’t linger in the disappointments, sadness, and negativity.  Instead pull yourself free with the “fresh air breeze” of new ideas and allow them to lift you up into a new path when needed.

Limitation – Emperor – It can be hard to relate to people in power sometimes. Sometimes they display behavior that has been trained into them, like police or border agents being overly aggressive without provocation. Keep in mind that these types of behavior are not a reflection on you or anything that you are doing, but rather a tactic meant to put you on edge.  Stay calm and rise above.

Change – Two of Swords – Pay attention and listen closely.  Opportunities to allow your passions to thrive are coming, and it may feel like their out of reach but they’re not.  It will simply take some careful listening, creative thinking, and a bit of discernment and decisive decision making to get you where you want to go.

Sympathy – Seven of Swords – Family betrayals. Broken promises and broken trusts have created in you a feeling of distrust and entanglement that is primed to rise to the surface and needs some attention to get under control. You’ve made a good deal of progress in making peace with your father and your past in this area, but it doesn’t really cover the whole “family” aspect of the thing, does it?

Luck – The Fool – Use the joy and bolstering sense of elation that comes with your accomplishments to lift you up and give you fresh eyes and fresh energy.  You have a lot to be grateful for and a lot to be proud of.  Don’t discount these things just because it’s you that has earned them and not someone else.

Power – Four of Pentacles – Having your wings clipped is painful and it can ground you when you’d be far happier taking flight.  Be careful that you don’t create a situation where you are left feeling alone and hurt because you clipped your own wings and grounded yourself to the point that grounding is no longer a boon, but instead becomes a trap.

Responsibility – Empress – Don’t leave anyone behind.  Sometimes we get so distracted in one thing that we end up losing focus on other things.  This is true about people, about projects, interests, and even physical items. You’re being given an opportunity to find a balance that spreads your nurturing in an even and healthy way. Make sure that you continue to keep this goal in mind moving forward.

Message from Spirit World – From gray days of suppression, discomfort, and what seems like insurmountable barriers, you’ve done well at trusting your instincts and seeking out what suits you best in life. Make sure that you do not lose sight of these things moving forward.  There is a place for the things you feel are important in the balance you seek.  Just don’t forget what those things are along the way.

Message from Mind’s World – Being pulled between chaos and calm is something you’ve struggled with throughout your entire life in a number of different aspects of your life. Take care not to let these struggles and imbalances drag you down. Instead, continue to seek new ways to deal with them and mitigate their negative influences.

Message from Known World – The entanglement of betrayals and disappointments with your family are in the past. Although the past influences the present, make sure that you don’t allow it to overtake your sense of accomplishment and destroy the spark of fun in life.

DECKS USED:  LINESCAPE TAROT, METAPHORIC THERAPY CARDS