Today’s meditation was a ten minute #DailyCalm session from the @Calm.

•    •    •    ◈    •    🌻    •    ◈    •    •    •

Daily Mental Health Prompt: Seek a positive message to carry with you throughout the day and offer perspective.

Today’s draw is the Ten of Swords, which is traditionally a representation long journeys coming to an end, painful endings, lessons learned the hard way, deep wounds, and sometimes can indicate loss or betrayal.

The Ten of Swords has then been combined with Sharing Shame card from The Healing Mantra Deck, which says, “When I share my deepest pain, I give myself permission to be.”

Sometimes, when we trip over one of our own triggers, or someone else trips them for us, it can feel like the end of the world.

Yesterday I had that experience for myself when my closest friend spoke words to me that echoed the insidious negative self talk that has whispered in my head for decades.

He did not use these words in the same context as that narrative in my head, and yet because I’ve heard that narrative all day every day for years on end, when the words came out his mouth, I immediately heard them in the same context as that narrative.

As a result, even though we talked things out after my panic subsided from this experience, I spent the rest of the day quietly bleeding on the inside while pretending I was fine.

It wasn’t until I got home and could be alone that I allowed myself to cry, but even then it wasn’t until I shared with someone (Gideon) what was going on in my head and what I was feeling that I started to feel as if I was becoming a bit more steady.

And here’s where the message in today’s Ten of Swords and affirmation card come into focus. Sometimes when you’re hurting, keeping that pain to yourself only prolongs the hurt and uncertainty. Am I magically all better now that I’ve talked out what was going on in my head with someone? No, I admit that I’m not; but it does help. It helps to share, even when we don’t want to and would prefer to just crawl up in a corner alone somewhere to lick our wounds.

DECKS USED:  WHEEL OF THE YEAR TAROT AND THE HEALING MANTRA DECK

@note.project August Journal Prompts
Prompts for August 19th through 21st

Something I want to make more space for in my everyday life

Bloomeria, Nine of Spades (Rubber Plant), Clotted Murff

Strength training, hiking, and other activities that push at your current limits.

You want to participate in more of the activities that foster physical stability, aware that in doing so you give your body a chance to feel better and flourish, and also ease some of your gut health problems in the process.

Fear and uncertainty hold you back, as well as your unwillingness to work through the additional pain involved.

Something I want to spend less energy on

Two of Spades (Snake Plant) atop Two of Diamonds (Gerbera Plant), Wumplebud

You want to spend less of your energy waffling in indecision to the point that that indecisiveness begins to upset the balance of everything in your life.

Indecision spreads and overpowers one segment of life at a time. It starts off small, and grows so quickly and easily that it begins choking out the good stuff in your life in no time flat.

A boundary that supports my well-being

Three of Hearts (Poinsettia Plant), Scuttlebloom

Take care you are not bending over backward just to please others. Groveling for their attention and good favor is not healthy for you or them.

Remember that it’s possible to course correct with dignity, instead of by debasing yourself or your values.

Other elements included in this reading:
Pressed Pansy Flowers for Hearing the Heart More Clearly
Dried Red Maple Leaf for Adaptability and Connection
Gneiss Stone for Patience in Moments of Discomfort
Carved Rhyolite Leaf for Facilitating Calm Transitions
Selenite for Purification and drawing in Positive Energy

DECK USED: YOGA THE SPIRITUAL LIBERATION PLAYING CARDS AND PLANTS DECK FROM THE VICIOUS GARDENS BOARD GAME

@lightningildflower‘s August Reflections Challenge
Steadiness Prompt for August 20th : What does steady progress look like for me?

Reading Summary: A little uncertainty and discomfort (The Moon) while still being in tune with what’s right for you (The Lovers). Focusing less on what feels good (Knight of Cups Rx), and more on what feels right (The Lovers).

Take Away: Steady progress means slowing down in order to become more in tune with what truly aligns with who I am and who I want to become, instead of allowing uncertainty and discomfort to cause me to halt, or the temptations of pleasure to tempt me into charging forward without a clear direction.

Sometimes it’s hard to accept that what -feels- good isn’t always what’s right for us. This is true with activities, with people and relationships, and with the choices we’re confronted with every day.

It’s only in slowing down that we are able to feel our way through what is right for us… and what isn’t.

Other elements included in this reading:
English Elm Seeds to Encourage Flexibility During Growth
Cave Aragonite Stalactite for Fostering Tolerance and Understanding
Selenite for Purification and drawing in Positive Energy

DECK USED: WHEEL OF THE YEAR TAROT

I talked to J today about how the words he said yesterday hurt me.