Two For The Price of One

Today’s meditation has not taken place yet.  I’ve been feeling a  bit out of sorts today, and while I know that meditation might be able to help this, at the same time I’ve been feeling very contrary and resistant… so, it hasn’t happened.  I will make sure to meditate before bed though, and try to put a little more effort into making sure it gets done in the mornings, as I know I benefit a great deal more from morning meditation than I seem to by doing them in the evening.

Forager's Daughter Tarot - The FoolToday’s draw is the Fool card of the Major Arcana, which is traditionally read as a card representing innocence, new beginnings, naivete, and boundless enthusiasm. There is a novice and untried air to the Fool, as he has yet to have tripped over a single pebble or stubbed his toe on a single root yet on his journey.   There is also a hint of anticipation, as adventures await the Fool, and he’s eager to begin.

I have to admit that as the Fool, I struggle with this card a bit.  Not me as the Fool, but this imagery as a representation of the Fool.  Because the taproot in this imagery looks like it is going through the egg (as opposed to behind it) this card feels far more to me like the World card than it does the Fool card.   Granted, the World and the Fool are connected by the Major Arcana’s cycle… so it is still fitting.  It just… fits more to me as the World.

That aside.    What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery on this card today is the Monarch butterfly working at wiggling its way free of the cocoon.  That imagery does indeed speak to me of the Fool and the World.  It speaks to me of the Fool because the butterfly is breaking free into a brand new form never experienced before.  It is eager for freedom and fights to get free of the cocoon in order to spread its wings.  At the same time, the other cocoons not yet open speak to me of the World.  For there is an ending and a beginning within those dangling pods, a transformation in the making.

There is a transformation happening in my life at the moment as well.   As I plan at returning to more regular work, and begin sorting through responsibilities and obligations, I am transforming how I used to do things into a new plan and a new norm.  The Fool has been a secondary stalker card for me over the past few weeks, trailing along behind the Ace of Cups, it appears again and again, just not quite as frequently.

The Fool’s message is twofold.  New beginnings and fresh starts take a change of mindset… and, that the change of mindset needed is one of wide eyed curiosity and eager optimism.


#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
: How can I honor or uphold my body’s message?

Animal Wisdom Tarot

Reading Summary: Find a way (Fox), even if it feels like stealing time from something else (Magpie). You need the perspective provided (Bat) to help join emotion and intuition (Dolphins) for that growth that involves both (Nautilus).

There is, through color and mood of the skies in both cards, a connection between the Bat and the Fox that speaks of using my ability at being able to see multiple new perspectives to help me in finding a path to what my body needs.

There is also a connection between the Dolphin card and the Nautilus that involves a great deal of color combination as well as the spiral beneath the water in the Dolphin cards and its corresponding spiral of the Nautilus shell.   These correspondences reinforce a message in yesterday’s read about the interconnection between the emotions and intuition on this journey of growth that I’m on.

Take Away:  I can honor my body’s message (which is that I need to take better care of my body so that I will feel better overall) by shuffling my crap around to find the time to get in a bit of exercise, keeping in mind that if I do not there’s a good possibility I’ll end up stunting the growth I’ve been trying to foster in myself lately.


#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
: What loss do I fear the most?

Stella's TarotReading Summary: The death of hope (The Star) and happiness (The Sun) closing me off to the world and sinking me into my own inner hell (Nine of Swords) as it obliterates my ability to see multiple perspectives (The Hanged Man Rx).

Take Away:  So the true fear of loss here has to do with losing my ability to view things in an unbiased manner and see multiple perspectives. The death of hope and happiness is the path to that outcome.

The thing is, that it really terrifies me to actually think I could lose that.  That perspective.  That ability to step back and really see things from “both sides” or multiple views.  It worries me that without that ability, I would become closed minded and hard… which is something I would never want.


: Given the current restrictions, how can I give and receive support to those important people in my life?

TaRat Rat Tarot

Reading Summary: You have to take action (Three of Wands) to celebrate what you have (Four of Wands) even in the worst of times (Ten of Swords). homecoming = reaching out

Take Away:  The Four of Wands is not just a “celebration” card, but also holds roots in the concept of “homecoming”.  Which is to say that in this case that ‘celebration’ seen in the cards has more to do with enjoying what I have…. enjoying my loved ones and taking action to enjoy them in the ways I am able… even when things are more difficult or feel impossible.  This is where phone calls and other forms of communication come in, as they allow that celebration of our connection, even from afar.


Spiritual Nourishment

Today’s meditation was interrupted. The workers came to get the wall patched in my kitchen where they’d had to open it up behind the stove to dry out the inside of the wall from back when I had that water leak in the attic.  They got the drywall up and plastered or… whatever it’s called.   I guess they’re coming back tomorrow to paint and someone else is taking care of the bit of flooring that had to be torn up.   Anyway, they interrupted, so I will need to try again tonight before bed.

Maruco Animal Tarot - Ace of CupsToday’s draw is my current STALKER CARD.   Yes, I have been being chased by the Ace of Cups for a good couple of weeks now, and it seems to be getting more and more prevalent over the last few days.   Traditionally, the Ace of Cups is a representation of new beginnings, the seed of a start, the first tiny spark of life.   It is about love and new relationships, and the whispering beginnings of creativity coming to life.

What speaks strongest to me in this card today is all the water.  All the water… and the communion wafer (host).  In Christianity, the host is seen as symbolism of spiritual nourishment that provides healing, sent by the Holy Ghost (in the form of a dove) .  This speaks to me of spirituality and healing.  Although I am not Christian (and never have been), that wafer and the dove that carries it still contains that symbolism of spirituality and healing for me more often than not.  Interestingly enough, my focus in the card today is not on the dove, though… but instead specifically on the host.

In this instance, the water in this card also speaks to me of spirituality.  It speaks to me of one’s intuition and inner sense of well-being. It is… that sense of one’s intuition and moral compass when everything is just exactly right and how it should be.

The message in today’s card is one of encouragement.  It is a reminder of the growth that I am going through emotionally at this time, and how that emotional growth will connect in with my intuition… creating growth and adjustments in that area as well.   This new level of emotional depth I’m learning to experience and understand will not hinder or lessen my intuitive voice.  Instead, the card indicates that it will do the opposite, allowing the waters of my intuition to flow more freely as the emotional growth brings about healing and more unity between emotion and intuition.


#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
: What does my body want me to know at this time?

Sun and Moon Tarot

Reading Summary: I’m not taking very good care of my physical body right now (Three of Swords) and I need to get back on the horse (Prince of Swords) so that it can feel renewed physically, which will also help me in feeling renewed internally as well.

Take Away:  What is there more to say that isn’t said above?  When you feel good physically, you feel good emotionally and mentally too.   When you treat your body like crap, it starts to drag on your mental and emotional health.  My body is telling me that it feels neglected… and I need to get back on the ball.


#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
: Philosophical Question – Do I think that everyone’s life is of equal value?

Mythical Creatures TarotReading Summary: Yes (Ace of Cups), but there are always going to be consequences (Five of Wands) to ones actions (Four of Coins Rx).   Honestly, the consequences could easily be the Four of Coins and the actions the Five of Wands.  Either order, it’s pretty much saying the same thing in this instance.

Take Away:  The Ace of Cups indicates that the answer is ultimately yes.  Everyone’s life is of equal value, because it’s not about what you do or don’t do or what you contribute to the world or don’t.  It’s about love.  Everyone deserves love… with love comes equality among men.   So yes.    The two cards with it, though, speak of actions and consequences.  A life is a life, but if you squander what you have and lose that life as a consequence, it means that you didn’t value it.  Not that it isn’t of value… but that you’ve chosen to squander that value instead of cherishing it and preserving it.


: How can I overcome the fear that my new ‘normal’ will bring?

Tarot Fauna

Reading Summary: Reevaluation (Four of Feathers) of responsibilities (Queen of Rocks). Torch the old plan (The Tower) and start anew in the ashes (The Fool).

Take Away:  The Fool has a strength all his own in the innocence and enthusiasm he represents. It is not seasoned and hard and jaded, but is bright and fresh, bursting with curiosity and eager enthusiasm. Use that.

This is another encouragement to make sure I’m not falling back into old habits as things start to return to some semblance of “normal” again.  It speaks of the need to reevaluate my habits and how I handle my responsibilities, and find a new way of structuring these things that will allow for more room, more enthusiasm, and more enjoyment.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I manage my fear of being alone?

The Fountain Tarot

Reading Summary: Remember that even when things are changing (Death), you still possess that core inner strength (Strength) that makes you who you are (The Hierophant)… which includes being an anchor for others that enjoy your company and look up to you (Hierophant under the Three of Cups).

Take Away:  The reminder in this cards about being who I am and that strength that I possess is a reminder that I will never be alone.  Although I do not draw people like bees to honey as some do, I have a charm all my own that pulls in those that can appreciate those things that make me unique in my own way.



Lean In… I Have Two Shoulders

Today’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long and was attached to the end of my yoga / physio practice.   I had a good deal to do today and didn’t want to risk falling asleep, so I did a steady breathing exercise combined with a full body scan while on my yoga mat rather than doing the meditation on the bed while in a piriformis stretch.  It’s just too easy to get comfortable and doze off on the bed sometimes.

Forager's Daughter Tarot - Ten of PentaclesToday’s draw is is the Ten of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of attainment, completion, and fulfilled contentment in the area of one’s finances, resources, health, and the physical world.

What stands out to me the strongest today in this card’s imagery is the mama bear.  This speaks to me of a sense of security and stability when combined with the presence of the little cub that she stands besides. The protective aggression that a mother bear has for her cubs is legendary and well known around the world, and in this imagery, I see the security and stability she offers to the cub just by her presence.

The message in today’s card is a reminder of the security and stability that I provide those that depend upon me, just by being there.  Just by them knowing that I have their backs and am there for them when they have need. As well as a reminder of the fulfillment that I gain from being that security and stability for those I love.


#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
: How can I honor or uphold my inner child’s message?

Mermaid Tarot

Reading Summary: Allow others in (Two of Cups) to help keep me on track (The Fool Rx) and in control (The Emperor).

Take Away:  My inner child’s message was about making sure as things settle back into a “new normal” post-pandemic lockdown, that I don’t forget about my self care.  The cards here in this reading indicate that in order to uphold that advice, I need to reach out to others to help keep me from falling back into old habits.  Even kings have advisors.


#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
: How can I better utilize my free time?

Tarot MuchaReading Summary: The Ace of Wands and Ace of Cups are conjoined in this reading and represent those things that both inspire my inner spark as well as create a sense of joy and pleasure.   The message here, when combined with the Fool, is that I need to bound after these things with enthusiastic joy.

Take Away:  The cards here speak about the need to balance my work time with more of what makes me feel enthusiastic and inspired.  I currently fill my free time with yet more work, and sleep.  I work while I eat… I work while I spend time with you.  I work all the time.  The cards don’t just tell me what to do with my free time, but indicate the attitude that I need to approach free time with…. not seeing it as an opportunity to “get more done”, but instead as an opportunity to have some fun.


: How can I embrace the new ‘normal’ and re-balance it into my life?

Light Visions Tarot

Reading Summary: This reading carries over from the reading I did today for Tarotholics Challenge.  It speaks of embracing those things that “light my fire” (Knight of Wands) and allowing them to be at the foundation of my restructuring process (Queen of Wands).   The Seven of Swords here is a reminder that taking time to enjoy the things that make you happy is not something to feel guilty about.  You are not “stealing” that time away from other responsibilities and obligations… especially not if you specifically make room in the new life balance to fit these things in.

Take Away:  This again falls into the same message that I have been getting a lot lately.  That is, that I need to make sure I am leaving room on my plate to allow for time to breathe and have a little fun.  A flame cannot spark or dance if it has no oxygen… and my creative spark is the same.  It needs room to stretch and breathe, it needs a sense of openness and fun and a lack of guilt over taking time to enjoy.  It’s important that I create that room as things begin returning to the “new norm” so that I don’t lose the progress and growth that I’ve been experiencing over this time.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When do I feel responsible for another person’s feelings?

Fairy Tarot by Doreen Virtue

Reading Summary: When I’m blindly going about my business without paying attention to my surroundings or affect on others (Eight of Winter) and end up hurting other’s feelings (Queen of Winter Rx) as a result either through intention (Princess of Autumn) or inexperience (Princess of Summer).

Take Away:  The truth is? Everyone does this sometimes, including myself.  You get so wrapped up in your own little world and your own personal perspectives, or distracted by a situation, that you forget about everyone and everything else…. and end up hurting someone’s feelings as a result.   This type of situation is when I feel responsible for other’s feelings… because it seems like it is a direct result of my own carelessness (which can also sometimes appear like callousness).  

The advice provided is that when I’m in this type of situation, it’s time to bring in outside eyes to look at what happened and give their perspective and advice.



Self Awareness and Vice

IMG_4480Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long, and focused upon choosing your words wisely.  Okay so it was a bit more than that.  It was about taking a beat to get in touch with your reactions, and using that moment to recognize if you are having an emotional reaction.  To recognize if there isn’t a better way to respond than by jumping to your first reaction and raising your voice or following blindly in a raise of your emotions.

Too often when we are confronted with conflict or with something that puts our back up for one reason or another, we react without thinking.  The meditation today was focused on finding a better path by using the mindfulness learned in the practice of meditating and finding a more calm and collected response.

Maruco Animal Tarot - The DevilToday’s draw is the Devil card, which is traditionally interpreted as a representation of temptations, obsessions, and addictions.  It often refers to themes that have to do with self-imposed restrictions or self-imposed situations where one’s vices become a problem. It can also occasionally refer to that inner “shadow self” that contains the parts of ourselves and traits that we prefer not to accept or bring out into the light.

[Traditional Symbology Side Note: In the lovers card in the traditional RWS tarot, these same figures stand before two trees.   The female figure stands before the Tree of Knowledge.  The male figure stands before the Tree of Life. Here in the devil card (both in this deck and also in the traditional RWS) you see the representation of these trees reflected by what sprouts from the tails of these figures.]

I added the side note above, because what stands out to me the strongest today in the imagery of this card is the tails of the two chained fuzzies below the white tiger devil.  In this imagery, both tails have “born fruit” that feels like the fruit of that is their vice… their obsession.  Their addiction that keeps them chained.  In the case of the figure on the left, it is about the pleasure of abundance and “forbidden fruit”.   In the figure on the right, it is about the spark of one’s passions and drive.   In both cases, although what has put them in their current predicament is different, the results are the same.

The second thing that stands out to me is that in both cases, their eyes are closed…. but the tiger’s eyes are open and feel as if they have a depth of understanding to them.  This, interestingly enough, speaks to me of a blend of empathy and strength.

The message here is to make sure you are aware of those things that make you tick, and those things that have the potential to become more than that and enslave you.  I have a tendency toward addiction, and the message for me is one of self awareness.  Being self aware allows me to enjoy the things I love without taking it too far.  And, allows me to know when it is getting to a point where “taking it to far” has stopped being a possibility and has become a reality.


#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
: What does my inner child want me to know at this time?

Mystical Manga Tarot

Reading Summary: This new opportunity to do things differently that’s currently before me (Page of Coins) needs to be considered with a good deal of introspection and thought (Eight of Swords) as well as careful planning.   At the center of that planning and the working through of how to proceed?  Make sure you are factoring in the need for continued self care (Empress).

Take Away:  The reorganization that has happened as a result of the pandemic has created an opportunity for me to rearrange not just how I work, but how I see things and where my focuses should lie.   The cards here are an encouragement to make sure that I don’t forget about the dedication I’ve put into self care during this time, and carry it forward into the future by careful and well thought out planning.


#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #2
What does Miss Luna want from me that I am not providing enough of?

Animal Wisdom TarotReading Summary: More good stuff (first two cards). Less change and instability (Moth Rx). Note the flow of colors in the background which connects the first two cards, indicating that she connects the joy of my attentions (Hummingbird) with the joy of passionate action (Tiger).  This connection is reinforced by the similar color palates and abundance of light in the first two cards, which speaks of joy and happiness.  Whereas the absence of light in the last card speaks of displeasure.

Take Away:  The cards here are saying that Miss Luna wants more play time with me.  She wants to have fun and finds that fun and action a sort of positive reinforcement.

What she wants less of from me is instability and change.  There’s not a lot that I can do about that as I can only provide so much stability considering my unstable schedule.  I do work hard to give her a bit of predictability within her days tho.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When do I take on the mood of someone else?

Stella's Tarot

Reading Summary: When I recognize that in the great scheme of things, there is no difference between others and myself (Death Rx), which allows me to connect with them through empathy (Three of Swords) and commiseration (Three of Disks).

Take Away:  Although I am not an empath, I am very much able to feel empathy under the right circumstances.  Those circumstances essentially require me to relate to and commiserate in some way with the other person.  I am then able to “take on” their mood and emotions.  This is not so much the sharing of emotions that an empath would experience, but more of a reflection of those emotions like a mirror.