Not Enough
It feels like
every day
the gas tank
is empty
again
and we’re
looking for change
between sofa cushions
for a mile or two
more
before it’s
empty
once again
Gideon’s Challenge – Not Enough
Author: Twist the Leaf
The Loneliness Cure
Today’s meditation was a nine minute long #DailyCalm session with the @Calm app.
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The @hippiepixie333 #Escapril2026 Challenge
Prompt for April 19th : empty swing set
Daily Mental Health Prompt: Seek a positive message to carry with you throughout the day and offer perspective.
Today’s draw is the Ace of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of the seed of new beginnings in the area of one’s thoughts, intellect, education, logic and reason, ambition, or communication.
If you don’t invite people to come play with you, you have to play by yourself.
It really is that simple. Loneliness stems from a lack of meaningful connections in one’s life. The reason we do not have meaningful connections in our life is because we are not inviting people in with whom to create them.
A lot of times this is because we’ve been hurt in the past, and so we have defense mechanisms in place to keep people at a distance. This includes lack of trust as a big one, but it also comes down to a lack of tolerance for the trial and error involved in finding quality people.
The only way to find quality people, though, is to meet people, communicate with people, get to know people. Through this process, we are able to then weed out the good people from the bad people. But, if you’re unwilling to meet the people, there’s no way to create those connections. And this is where loneliness steps in.
The message in today’s Ace of Swords and the “empty swing set” prompt is a reminder that in order to make the friendships we value most, you first have to actually meet people and communicate with people and get to know them. These are the first steps that come with creating lasting friendships in the long run. The kind of friendships that hold loneliness at bay when it comes to call.
DECK USED: THE TAROT OF OZ
#DiscordTarotholicsApr2026 Challenge
Prompt for April 19th : Do Spread 3
You – L4 through Coccyx and Ilium
There’s a lot of stiffness going on right now and it’s increasing issues with a lack of mobility. Increased pain levels and discomfort aren’t helping in this area either. Walking is painful, sitting is painful… everything is painful when it comes to your lower back and hips at the moment.
Your Goal – Right Toes with Star
Mobility. The ability to hike further, stand for longer periods of time, and increase your ability to move with greater ease and dexterity.
What’s Holding You Back – Kneeling
You are giving into the pain by indulging in immobility.
No matter how much it hurts, motion is better than immobility. The more you stay still, the less mobility you retain. Staying still instead of putting yourself in motion maybe an effort to avoid the pain involved in movement, but in the end the inaction just makes things worse.
Advice to overcome what’s holding you back.
Free Spirit and Bandaged Knee Modesty
Start small and keep going, even when it hurts. For you, pain is not a warning sign in these moments. Rather, it’s an indication that you haven’t been doing enough to become inured to the sensation.
You don’t have to make big wins or do anything particularly strenuous… you just need to do a little bit each day to keep your mobility intact, and allow you to relearn how to put the pain in a place in the background where it doesn’t matter.
Other elements included in this reading:
Foraged Parmeliaceae Lichen for a “Breath of Fresh Air”
Rose Quartz for Gentle Kindness to Self and Others
Carved Jade Japanese Kitsune for fostering Wisdom and Cunning
Kambaba Jasper for a sense of Peace and Tranquility
Serpentine to Bolster Heart and Emotions
Desert Rose for Purification and drawing in Positive Energy
DECK USED: EXQUISITE CORPSE GAME CARDS
@lightningwildflower‘s April Energetic Shifts Challenge
Mars conjunct Saturn, Sun enters Taurus Prompt for April 19th : Where do I need more patience and persistence?
Reading Summary: Doing your own thing (The Fool) more, instead of always (Temperance) looking to what others would like out of your decisions and choices (Six of Wands).
Take Away: It’s hard to break out of the habit of worrying about what other people might think about your choices and actions. Especially when those choices and actions are aligned with more frivolous pursuits of temporary pleasure rather than following some future vision steeped in responsibility.
You struggle with this because you’ve worked hard to always be responsible and thus this is what people around you often expect from you. It’s often hard to then break from these habits that are formed from your goals aligning with people’s expectations.
Just take it one small step at a time. One small decision at a time. It’s perfectly okay to acknowledge what other people would like, and then do what you want instead. It’s only in the recent years as you’ve piled more and more responsibility for others on your own shoulders that this has become more difficult for you. Reclaiming this autonomy is important, but it’s going to take some time.
Other elements included in this reading:
Dried Red Maple Leaf for Adaptability and Connection
Foraged Parmeliaceae Lichen for a “Breath of Fresh Air”
Calcite for Gently Calming the Mind and Stimulating Insights
Desert Rose for Purification and drawing in Positive Energy
DECK USED: THE TAROT OF OZ
This is a catch up post, and I’m not entirely sure what the self kindness was for this day.
Gideon’s Challenge – Tension
Tension
Muscles flexed
without realization
tight and aching
but unacknowledged
until they
start to scream
and realization
comes
that a deep breath
is needed
slow in
and slow out
then again
to help the knots
let go
Photo © ZenStatePhotography
❤️ Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)
These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.
The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?
Earth – Three of Balls – There’s a lot of stuff that you can do on your own, but you need to make sure that you’re looking out for opportunities to include others in your projects. Not everything has to be done alone and sometimes the input from outside sources can help you wiggle free of creative plateaus and other “sticky” spots.
Air – The Magician – Don’t “flip the table” just because things aren’t going your way. It’s better to pause and work things out than it is to make a mess out of things just because you’ve become impatient. Use your words.
Water – Two of Plants Rx – If it’s not right, it’s not right. Sometimes imbalance is the only way to create balance in the long run. Move things around and make a mess, and order will be created in the aftermath.
Fire – Six of Balls Rx – Be greedy this week. It’ll help you pick up the slack from past weeks to take in a little extra where you ban in the week ahead.
Waning – Nine of Spades and Queen of Spades – Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched. Do your due diligence instead of leaving things up to chance this week.
Waxing – Four of Spades and King of Spades – Instead of giving away all of your secrets to others than use for their own benefit, hold your cards close to your vest and use them to lead by example instead.
Take Away – If you’re not willing to make a mess and include others in your creative process, there’s a good chance you’re not going to get much done this week. Stop being so stubborn about doing everything yourself.
DECKS USED: BLEU CAT TAROT AND DAFFODIL FARM DAIRY PLAYING CARDS
Making Good Choices
Today’s meditation was skipped.
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The @hippiepixie333 #Escapril2026 Challenge
Prompt for April 18th : distant trains
Daily Mental Health Prompt: Seek a positive message to carry with you throughout the day and offer perspective.
Today’s draw is the Ten of Swords, which is traditionally a representation long journeys coming to an end, painful endings, lessons learned the hard way, deep wounds, and sometimes can indicate loss or betrayal.
I live in a condo on a hill with train tracks that run along the bottom of the hill through the “valley”. Trains run along these tracks all day and all night, their sound rolling upward over the hill where I live, carrying and amplifying the sound as it goes.
Because of this, although I live a few blocks from those train tracks, it sounds as if I live right next to them. Well, on the other side of the building at least, because the side of the building that faces the train tracks actually feels like you might be living 2 feet from the tracks.
When I moved in here, it took a really long time for me to get used to the noise of the trains, especially at night. Back then I was only getting about 3 to 4 hours of sleep per night, and this ungodly racket of trains moving through the night was not helping me get even that much sleep.
At one point, I even considered whether it was worth staying here, or if I should move.
I did stay, though, and over time I became used to the sound of the trains. I barely even hear them anymore.
The message in today’s Ten of Swords combined with the “distant trains” is a reminder that we can’t always choose the things we can live with, and those that we can’t. Sometimes the most excruciating things (like chronic pain) are things we have to live with rather than choosing, while other things (like the sound of trains that keep you up all night) you can choose whether or not to accept in your life.
In the end, we can “live with” a lot of things we don’t want to live with. We are all stronger than we realize, after all. The reminder here is that when we have a choice, make good choices. Pick yourself up from the “knockdown” blow given to you, and make the best choices you can in that moment. It may not be the perfect choice of your dreams, but if you make the best choice you can, you will get the best results from the experience you’re in the process of picking yourself up from.
DECK USED: THE LLEWELLYN TAROT
#DiscordTarotholicsApr2026 Challenge
Philosophical Questions for April 22nd and 29th
What does it mean to live a good life?
Ten of Swords, American Plum, Queen of Swords
These cards indicate that living a good life involves protecting those you love (American Plum) from the hardships that life has to offer (Ten of Swords Rx), and guiding them through the ones that you can’t protect them from (Queen of Swords).
The truth is that we all have to live through hardships, and life is going to hand out to us a wide variety of them to go through in our lives. In these cards, we see that living a good life involves connection with and support from others as each of us traverses through these hardships and learns how to deal with them, survive them, and move on from them.
Is personal growth required to live a good life?
Knight of Pentacles, Southern Crab Apple, Ace of Swords
You can’t move forward, not even slowly (Knight of Pentacles Rx), without some kind of growth (Ace of Swords). Stagnancy creates a stunted experience (Southern Crab Apple).
Yes, personal growth is a requirement for living a good life. Or at least, the good life that is described above in the answer to the previous question. Without personal growth, there is nothing to share, and nothing to give. That means there’s no reciprocity, and nothing to be shared with you.
Through growth we provide for others… and through growth they provide for us.
Other elements included in this reading:
Conch Shell Knot for Concentration, Clarity, and Determination
Green Jasper and Tiger Eye Turtle for Confidence within Progress
Selenite for Purification and drawing in Positive Energy
DECKS USED: BADGERS FOREST TAROT AND SIBLEY TREE IDENTIFICATION FLASHCARDS
@lightningwildflower‘s April Energetic Shifts Challenge
Mercury sextile Pluto Prompt for April 18th : How can I use my voice to empower myself?
Reading Summary: Remember that you can’t have everything all at once (The World blocked by Knight of Pentacles), and you wouldn’t want to (Justice). Take the things you want and need a little at a time instead (Seven of Swords).
Take Away: There are unhealthy results involved in leaning into a mindset of immediate gratification. Empower yourself by knowing your limits and working within them instead.
You will garner more success that way than you will by pushing yourself for more than you can healthily handle at once. Might want to keep in mind that there’s a massive difference between “more than you can handle” and “more than you can healthily handle” as well.
In other words? Saying “no” is empowering, not diminishing. Say it more often.
Other elements included in this reading:
Foraged Oak Branch with Moss and Lichen for Perseverance
Turtle Figurine for encouraging Slow and Steady Progress
Rose Quartz for Gentle Kindness to Self and Others
Selenite for Purification and drawing in Positive Energy
DECK USED: THE LLEWELLYN TAROT
I avoided speaking politics even when it was brought up a few times today. It’s not that I don’t want to share my personal perspectives on those issues, but it’s like talking to a brick wall and only creates a chasm of distance when I’ve tried in the past.
Gideon’s Challenge – Comforted
Comforted
A little cuddle
a tight
close hug
with softness
squished
in close
to the chest
familiar scents
in unfamiliar places
help wakefulness
drift
into sleep
as inner knots
release
Twisting the Leaf 