Summer Relief
Frigid water
offers relief
from sweltering
temperatures
of summer heat
do you wade in
a little at a time
or is it
a few quick steps
and then a dive?
I like to dive
and absorb the shock
as I glide along
the bottom’s rocks
Month: August 2021
Morning Bonus Read – Self Growth
Your Past Self – Nine of Pentacles – Once upon a time? I thought that I had all my ducks in a row and everything in hand. Back when I was closing myself off to my emotions and working myself into the ground, I really thought I was in a good place.
Your Current Self – Seven of Pentacles – But I soon came to realize that there’s a lot more growth to come and it’s going to take a long ass time to work through. I began to realize that there was a lot more to life than work. I began to realize that I needed to slow down.
Your Higher Self – Three of Swords – I am my best and highest self when I’m able to look beyond my pain and negativity to see the growth and lessons these experiences are offering me. In the moment, this can be difficult, but I know that those lessons are there and I only need to find them and understand them. It does not take the pain away, but it gives the pain worth.
What Blocks Your Potential – The Devil – Ego. Over confidence. And allowing myself to indulge too deeply in what would otherwise be harmless pursuits. I have an addictive personality, and even though I’m aware of it? Sometimes it still manages to get its hooks in and take me for a ride I’m not ready for, causing blockages and detours, backsliding and often… recovery as well.
Family Patterns – Six of Pentacles – Being too generous and forgiving with my family. My father’s abuse. My mother’s narcissism. Their hurtful behavior is something that has left some serious scars, and yet I can’t manage to hold it against them. At least not to the extent that would seem reasonable and healthy.
Personal Issues – Four of Pentacles – Overly focused on security and stability. This is a need that grew from homelessness and severe scarcity. It comes from taking showers in the school locker rooms and sleeping under abandoned cars. It comes from the instability of couch surfing, and an apartment furnished with car tires, milk crates, and cardboard boxes. It’s my past… and yet something I still struggle with.
Conscience – Ten of Wands – Feeling guilty about slowing down and taking things slower, not doing as much, and not progressing as fast as I’m used to doing. That hard, nose-to-the-grindstone pace that I’ve been pushing myself on for so long has taken its toll and I know it’s time to slow down, but somehow? There are a lot of times when I feel so fucking guilty about that. About not doing more and pushing harder.
Desire – Temperance – Less pushing and more time off. More time to connect with my spirituality and path. More time to connect with the world around me. I have gotten a taste of the slower path and worked through some of my guilt concerning it, and I’ve come to a point where I actually crave more. This from the man who, just a couple of years ago couldn’t take a couple hours off without going stir-crazy.
Lesson – Wheel of Fortune – Ups and downs happen. It’s part of life. Adapt, and keep moving.
Advice – Page of Swords – Slow down more. Now is the time to indulge in this behavior. Soon enough the holiday rush will start and you will have so much work on your hands that you’ll be struggling just to keep up. While things are slow, it’s okay to take time for yourself. This is a new path, and there’s going to be struggles, but you’re aware of what’s come before and what needs to change.
DECK USED: CAT-ROT TAROT
Finding Light In the Darkness
Today’s meditation was skipped cuz I overslept this morning and it was one of those “go go go” days from the time I finally managed to get up.
Today’s draw is the Five of Coins, which is traditionally a representation of hardships, tests, trials, and scarcity in the areas of one’s finances, resources, health, home life, and the physical world and manifestations.
There is a certain type of person that I really admire. They are extremely rare, but you find them now and then. Those people that are able to be filled with hope and cheer, no matter their circumstances. When I was in chemotherapy, there was a patient I saw now and then when I went in for my treatments that was like this. She was battling breast cancer, and she always looked frail and fragile, and horribly ill. And yet, even knowing that she had to be in so much pain and feeling miserably physically? She always was cheerful and kind. Positive. Sweet to the nurses and full of hope.
She was… amazing. Breathtaking. And the lesson that this woman taught me about leaning into the good and cherishing what you have is something that I think these cards are encouraging today. The Five of Coins speaks of disparity, and yet even there are things to cherish during these times. Things to enjoy. Things to be grateful for. When you’re feeling downtrodden and like life is at your worst, these cards are a reminder to seek out those things and cherish them. Allow them to be a light in the darkness.
DECK USED: THE FELINE MARSEIILES TAROT AND HOW TO BE A WILDFLOWER DECK
Mr Lionharts’ #TheAugustTarot #SOLTarot Prompt
Questions for August 4th thru 6th
What loving energy is here to support me this month?
Two of Pentacles – You have the support you need in order to help you find balance and keep it in check. Allow them to help you avoid diving into anything that will take away your attention from this time when you’re supposed to be resting and enjoying yourself.
What can I do to manifest a good month?
The Hermit – Make sure you’re going out and doing those alone time things that you love so much. Get out in nature and enjoy it. You need this time in order to stay happy and balanced.
What can keep in mind to manifest a good month?
Page of Pentacles – Remember that now is a time of discovery, and you’re learning new things. Sometimes these things take time, and it’s okay to go slow instead of just plowing in headlong.
Something I should try to enjoy or appreciate today.
Ten of Pentacles – Set aside worries and stressors when you go out to dinner with Z and L tonight. Instead, savor the togetherness and enjoy that you’re able to do this with each other.
DECK USED: RICHIE RICH TAROT
#DiscordTarotholicsAug2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Are you more of a dreamer or a believer?
Reading Summary: There is a dreamer in the fish that is present in the Six of Cups, a solid believer in the groundedness of the Ten of Pentacles, whereas the Four of Swords speaks of rest and a balance between both.
Take Away: There is no choice to be made here, and no imbalance… I am both. Evenly and easily both.
DECK USED: THE FELINE MARSEIILES TAROT
L and I took Z out to dinner at the Olive Garden today. I ate SO MUCH food. It was so good. Hands down the best meal I’ve ever had at Olive Garden. I had the Asiago Stuffed Tortellini Alfredo with Grilled Chicken. It was… so good.
Gideon’s Challenge
Bared To You
A tight bud
slowly unfurls
as sunlight bathes
green stems
and spread leaves
one petal
at a time
then another
they open
and spread wide
to show a bright
and shining soul
Just as you
peel back the layers
to reveal mine
Photo © ZenStatePhotography
Distractions Can Help
Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long, and was the 9th installment of the Balance app’s introductory course. It focused on combining the skills of breath focus and body scanning into meditation together.
Today’s draw is the Nine of Stakes (Swords), which is traditionally a representation of nightmares, worry, negative inner dialogue, and the things that these things result in such as insomnia and anxiety.
The chaos in the Nine of Stakes (Swords) card pulled today is filled with chaos. It’s about how the world looks when your mind is not at ease, how everything seems out of control.
The Affirmation card for today (front and back are both displayed in the mage), encourages you to take some time to step out of that chaos when it starts to encroach. Find your joy and follow it, allow it to take your mind off your troubles for a while.
Sometimes, problems don’t get solved through obsessively worrying about them, fussing over them, and struggling with them. Sometimes? The easiest way to solve our problems is to step away from them and allow our minds to settle. Then, when you come back to them, it’s with a cool and calm mind that is far more prepared to deal with the issues your mind was so obsessively struggling with.
DECK USED: SACRED BRIDGES TAROT AND HOW TO BE A WILDFLOWER DECK
#DiscordTarotholicsAug2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Hold Tight / Let Breathe / Set Free
Hold Tight – King of Cups and The Maze – Hold tight to Gideon, no matter the ups and downs or where life might take you. There are so many things in life that can change and so many unexpected turns to go through, but he’s the one to be by your side through it all. Don’t loosen your grip, and for fucks sake don’t let go.
Let Breathe – Six of Wands and The Giant – The expectations of others will crush you if you let them. You can’t please everyone all the time, but you can make sure that everything is up to your own personal standards. That is enough.
Set Free – Ten of Cups atop Six of Swords, The Lucky Cat – Set free the idea that everything has to be perfect. Life is not perfect. Nature is not perfect. So why would anything that you do have to be perfect? It’s okay for it to be good enough… and not perfect.
Remember that it is only through the flaws that true perfection is actually found.
DECK USED: THE NEW ARCANA ORACLE AND THE INSECT TAROT
The #MysticStarChallenge at the Sacred Grounds Tarot Club
Questions for August 1st thru 3rd
Right now my Major Arcana card is:
Temperance – Speaking to themes that deal with moderation, and taking time to connect with and savor the world around me.
What message does the card have for me?
Plowing forward (Artisan of Stakes) can upset the apple cart (Chief of Wheels Rx). Pause to really think about your choices (Two of Stakes) and learn from your mistakes (Apprentice of Stakes).
This is about making sure I’m not just doing what I know, but rather making sure I take my time and align with my new path choices.
Diving into work, ignoring my needs, constantly obsessing over what needs to be done, and focusing only on work and my need to build more and more stability. These things are not working for me anymore, and like a stone struck with a hammer too many times, I was beginning to crumble under the abuse.
What challenges does this card wish to warn me about?
Don’t just jump on those new creative pursuits and opportunities when they come your way (Ace of Waters), you have a tendency to go too fast and think on the go instead of before you leap (Eight of Staves).
When I see something that interests me that I’d like to try, I have a habit of diving in and doing things on the fly instead of pausing to think it all through first. I trust my intuition, creativity, and adaptable nature to help it turn out in the end.
Although this works for me as a process, it allows me to take on too much, as I don’t fully realize beforehand just how much time and work will be involved.
At this time, how can I embrace and incorporate this card best into my life?
Create good boundaries for yourself and toe the line on them (Nine of Staves). Let others help you with the responsibilities and obligations that you already shoulder (Three of Waters).
DECK USED: SACRED BRIDGES TAROT
So much good time with Gideon today. I love you so much.
Gideon’s Challenge
The Claiming
Lie me down
upon deep waters
float me there
buoyant and free
wrap your hands
around my throat
and dip me deep
hold me there in
peaceful darkness
suspended and silent
as thoughts turn
into swirling currents
and your heart beats
call my name
Drown me
Twisting the Leaf 