Today’s meditation was (probably) about ten minutes long. It started out with the harp strings as normal and my piriformis stretches, but somewhere between the last position of my stretches and the end of the meditation, I seem to have dozed off and missed the last bell that signaled the end of my practice for the day. I woke up a bit later with the harp chords silenced and my body still holding the last pose, so I couldn’t have been asleep too long, right?
Today’s draw is King of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the areas of one’s emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition. This often displays itself in themes dealing with emotional stability and authority, a diplomatic and yet compassionate quality directed towards others.
What stood out most strongest to me in the imagery of today’s card was the saw palmetto… and all the water. Saw Palmetto is not really a plant that I have a lot of experience with, and so I needed to do a bit of research on this one.
Serenoa repens (aka saw palmetto) is a form of fan palm that grows in subtropical regions and is very common throughout Florida (thus why I have very little experience with it). It is a “bolstering” herb used to create strength and support, which when combined with the theme of all that water is about bolstering one’s emotional well-being and creativity. This is because water is a representation of emotions, intuition, and creative flow.
The message in today’s card is that I need to spend more time “flexing the muscles” of my emotions and my creativity. They go hand-in-hand whether I want them to or not, and by exploring the first, the other has the chance to become stronger as well… if I let it.
DECK USED: HERBAL TAROT
#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my current relationship with food?
Reading Summary: Tossing out the traditional card meanings entirely on this one, because they don’t connect at all with what I see in the imagery here.
So many plans bot not a lot of doing going on (first card), instead I’m still cloistered with my loved ones (second card) and looking pretty damned happy about that broken cup that is representing my bad habits picked up during lock-down (third card). There’s hope on the horizon, though. You’ll get there… you just have to find the missing piece that will inspire you to hope to it (forth card).
Take Away: This is about finding the spark… the enthusiasm and motivation to get my ass in gear concerning exercise and taking better care of my body (both in exercise as well as what I’m putting into it). Thus, my relationship with food at the moment is that I know I should be doing better, but am pretty damned content with not behaving myself. The Star card here and the missing puzzle piece at the bottom are telling me that it’s okay… I will find that spark of motivation when the time is right.
DECK USED: PHANTASMAGORIC THEATER TAROT
#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What inner injury from my childhood needs healing?
Reading Summary: Mother in the center… Scarcity to the left… New vision to the right.
Queen of Wands – In this reading, this card is self explanatory in that I have often referred to my mother as the Queen of Wands. Depending on how you look at her and how she is feeling in the moment, she epitomizes the card and its interpretations no matter whether it is taken upright or reversed.
Five of Pentacles – The use of the stone here (Hemimorphite) shifts the meaning of this card away from the traditional meaning of hardship and into one of victimhood. The card here indicates that there was a time when I felt that my mother revealing her true self to me created a sense of feeling victimized.
Ace of Swords – Although I had always been aware that my mother was ‘somewhat’ self-serving and selfish, it wasn’t until a few years ago after my father’s death that I realized just how deeply ingrained and pervasive this quality was in her life.
Take Away: Although this wound was not from my childhood, it created a painful rift for my inner child, and damaged the trust I had in how I had perceived people and the world during my younger years. This discordance is something I still struggle with, even as I learn to see and accept my mother’s truth while finding ways to still incorporate her into my life.
DECK USED: THE CRYSTAL TAROT
#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
Question: Draw a reminder card of something to be grateful for.
Reading Summary: Even when I try to overload myself too much (Ten of Wands)… some thing always steps in to make sure that I balance back out (Six of Pentacles).
Take Away: I struggle with my personal expectations of what I should be able to do vs what I really am capable of. I put too much on my plate again and again. And yet, most of the time? Just when I’m about to crash and burn, something happens to force me to drop my plate and rearrange it or set it aside and come back to it later. Whether that be some sort of emergency, some unreasonable demand I can’t get out of brought about by my mother, a pandemic of global proportions…. there is always something that pops up and saves me from myself.
DECK USED: SAWYER’S PATH TAROT
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I improve my time spent?
Reading Summary: Take control and direct my time spent towards my passions (King of Wands) instead of lollygagging (Five of Coins) and then bemoaning that there’s just not enough time to go around (Three of Swords).
Side note? Just sayin’, but the King of Wands reminds me of those old 1980’s He-Man cartoons.
Take Away: I think that we all do this sometimes, but there are times when I can just like waste away two or three hours pretty much doing a bunch of nothing. I mean I’m reading info, looking up images, maybe browsing through social media or whatever… and suddenly? Three hours are just gone. Poof! Just like that.
This reading is telling me that during these times, I would be better served to direct my time and energy toward those things that inspire me, rather than just fucking around doing a bunch of nothing then whining about where the time went after the fact.
DECK USED: SIMPLY DEEP TAROT
Twisting the Leaf 
Today I caught myself staring at the enlarged version of this daily draw and think how patient the king looks as he holds out that cup as if he’s just waiting…waiting for that fish of creativity to come and have a chat or waiting for you to stop “running” from your new depth of emotions that are like tiny waves all around you yet going ignored. It makes me wonder if the reason you are struggling and getting so many messages about those emotions is that you got to a point where you could feel them and found an outlet for them, then decided that you were too “busy” to figure out where they were going so you decided to duck out and ignore them. Just some food for thought, hm?
As for the food topic and your body, so long as you aren’t treating your body badly, or making yourself unhealthy, it’s okay to slack now and then, yeah? You can’t go to the gym right now, but you can get outside again and I think that will be on the to do list alot more now so I’m not too worried about you not getting exercise.
Your mother is a topic that always causes me to bulk up and feel protective of you. She really needs to learn not to be so damn selfish and self centered. Unfortunately I’m not sure that is a lesson she will ever learn, especially as I’m pretty sure that last one SHOULD have shaken her, but didn’t seem to outside of how it effected HER. I just wish she’d get a damn clue and see what she’s done to her relationship with you.
And yes, things always happen that make you drop that load, whether you want to or not. Alot of times it is your mother or some unforeseen and unavoidable mishap that scares the crap out of me in regards to your well being, but something always seems to happen. If you’d just listen to me when I try to get you to take breaks, maybe you wouldn’t have so much other shit having to swoop in and disrupt. *winks* The universe shall always have it’s way.
And lastly….ME you can spend more time with me and exploring those emotions you’re hiding from. It needs to be done for many reasons, hm? I love you, precious, so very much.
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