Obsession

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I just wanted to muse for a bit on how much I love you… and how surprising it is that you don’t creep me the fuck out.

What I mean by that is to say that you take me by surprise in many ways.  One of these is in the  many ways in which you fit the “profile” of a stalker.

After all… you’re obsessive. Invasive. Highly focused. Extremely protective.  And in someone else?  These things being directed at me would absolutely set off a crap load of triggers and freak me out.

And yet with you?  Not at all.  You’re all mine, including that intensity with which you set your focus upon me.

It took me a long time to be comfortable with the sheer volume of attention you wanted to direct my way, though. Then again, it probably helped that I was a bit oblivious as well.

I remember being shocked at some of the things you remembered that I would have never thought to even notice. Quirks, shoe size, preferences on various innocuous things, and so much more. If I had not been so oblivious, you might have scared the ever living shit out of me.

As it was though, I became aware of the obsession gradually, only discovering more and more as you snuck your way deeper and deeper under my armor and before I knew it, you’d taken root there in my heart.

I love you.  Always.  All ways.

 

One thought on “Obsession

  1. *Goes from melting to choking on his laughter with the “creeping you the fuck out” thing* Dude I’m totally not the creepy stalker sort. Okay so In the beginning I did watch you from a distance without your knowledge, but babyboy you are -amazing- to read, to watch, to witness in motion.

    Funny that I’m just as obsessed, just as fascinated now as I was back then, so long ago when I first decided that I wanted you. I’m still crushing just as hard, my heart still goes all aflutter(ha I said aflutter…that’s almost as bad as “damn skippy”) when I see your name come online or I watch you walk into a room.

    I’m really glad that I don’t freak you out, I’m glad I didn’t scare you off…and I’m glad that you understand now that I only pay attention to the small details because they are a part of you and that makes them all, each little piece, special and important to me. You are so fucking important to me.

    You’re essential, man. I can’t even imagine a world without you. I can’t. I won’t….There was a time or two when you were hurt or sick and I thought I might have to try and imagine it and…I just can’t. I can’t do it. My mind, my heart, my SOUL cannot endure it. I need you, beautiful boy. You are my sun, my moon and my stars. You’re my air cause I simply can’t breathe without you.

    You’re my everything.

    You’re all I want, you’re all I need…you’re everything. Everything.

    Always. In all ways.

    I love you. More today than yesterday….

    Liked by 1 person

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